Serenity's blog: "11-11-07"

So many different things going on in my life today.Never knowing whats going to happen i'm just trying to make it day to day.Can't keep going on i'm starting to feel how things are going I don't want to go astray.So I guess this is just going to be another GDD.

I believe that no matter how much you change your life and try to do better. You will still get judged no matter what there will always be someone to remind you of how much of a fuck up you were.Sorry got bad news today and I'm trying to vent . 1-29-08

If life is the results of choices we've made then we cannot change who we are. But with each new choices we can determine who we're going to be. 1-24-08

Meeting across roads At the beginning it's where we belonged But I guess I was wrong I always end up up doing something wrong I feel like I will never belong and wonder how much how muchit will go on Wondering if I should give up and run away I'll never look back at my life cause my life has gone astray. 1-18-08

You do not have my body You do not have my soul But what you do have is my heart that holds more love for you, then you'll ever know 12-23-07

Waking up starting my day not knowing if I'll ever be ok I don't understand how to go on Not understanding why things keep going wrong If only people could see life brings so much misery When it hurts to breath waiting to be set free.

Hold me till the morning when the shadows disappear. Chase away the sorrow, wipe away my tears. Open up the curtains, flood the room with light, help me find my way, ease my lonely nights. Shadows hide in waiting until the sun goes down, the nthey haunt my dreams and take me to the ground. I do notunderstand at all these feelings and this pain, I want to laugh and sing, feel joyous once again. But I feel the darkness falling, it captures heart and soul, so shelter me with love, until I once again feel whole.

Lord give me the strength To face the day I'm so distrught And I've lost my way. LOrd give me some help To thee I pray I'm struggling so hard I'm starting to stray. Too many blows I have sustained How can I go on With all this pain. Please help me Lord Please take control Save me now Please save my soul. So many tears I have shed I dread tomorrow And what lies ahead. I look to you Your guiding light Please take my hand Stay with me this night. I am your servant Before you I kneel Please hear my plea I need to be healed. ~~Chee Chee Martin~~

It doesn't take a reason to love someone, but it does to like someone.You don't love someone because you want to,you love someone because you are destined too.It's because you fall in love with them,that you then try to find a reason,but you always come up with the answer,No reason!

Nov 17, 2007, 10:46 am I'm wondering what I did wrong Looking around the room, but I'm all alone I'm so tired I want to go home But he's not there I guess he didn't care We has so much we were going to share I'm not sure if I could bear to do it again Feels like this pain will never end How am I to begin to trust again maybe this is going to be the end Praying to God to send me a friend to help me mend up all these loose ends.