#10 Life is sexually transmitted (now there' a happy thought)
#9 Good health is mereley the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#8 Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see that he's not excited, make him a sandwich.
#7 Give a person a fish, and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6 Some people are like a Slinky toy... not realy good for anything, but can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals trying to get cured of nothing.
#4 All of us could take a lesson from weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#3 Why does a slight tax increase cst you $200, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30?
#2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. now the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal.
AND THE #1 THOUGHT FOR 2008
we know exactly where one cow with mad cow disease is located among millions and millions of cows in america, but we have not a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration. "MOOOOOOOOOOO"
