All my life, Ive never felt as though I belong.
Confused on a constant.
Unsure of who is or what is right or wrong.
Only ever having movies or Tv, I learned to only trust what I could see.
Words being nothing less then empty. Especially if coming from me.
Beginning from birth, So those around me have made certain to agree.
Always feeling as if I will "pop"! Never finding the right words, & that factor never seeming to stop.
To little to late is clear & always the fate to me.
Ive know idea what it is I expected.
Only that the warm loving closeness is all I ever wanted.
The ideal stereo type is what I thought was right & all this pent up anger in me is due to that never being in my sight. Happiness is all I seek.
My choices made directly to become the ideal stereo type.
Having watched all my life, other's having & doing everything I ever wanted.
All due to their loving families.
I felt for sure when I began to set my mind to my life's plan.
That the circle that of which I come from would be broken.
Greed & selfishness & lack of humanity, the plethora of crimes my eyes have seen.
The blood line I come from being nothing less then obscene.
Good intentions, I'm sure where somewhere.
Though for me they were eluded & the lesser of all, used as a tool, it shoved down my throat.
Neglected & unheard, intentionally miss guided. I'm your personal patsy.
Jaw work creating more & making it happen.
This blood line, I come from, riddled with gross humanity, lie's & secrets.
Validation, acceptance of responsibility during hypocrisy.
They only come foreword when your making more money or become a small celebrity.
Delude the truth to gain personal gain, its politics & seems to be the way of true humans.
Humanity truly being a farce, every last wonderful actually being an accident. & brainiacs we are not.
Do as I say not as I do, though in life's plan, it often forces you to become untrue.
As genuine as the heart can be, idea's & lie's seem be the prevailed & what all want to see.
Life full of heartache & confusion, who is really full of delusion.
I question myself more then all else. Simply due to my entire life's doubts.
Word semantics is a bail out, the one thing the deceptive hold onto for their way out.
Though be you a man of your word. Whats that mean really?
Not a soul in my life Ive found that I could trust freely.
Inexperience & ego in the way, who isn't there, that we cant offend?
So when does it stop let alone begin.
When the misunderstood is allowed to be heard & live again.
I can't be alone in my ideas, I can't be the only one whom has lived feeling these things.
As unique as humanity is suppose to be, I find it difficult to believe since all Ive been taught is how much of a nothing I & that fact eludes me.
Everyones perspectives is what seems to be the truth.
Though black & white is what is always mute.
