NAN's blog: ""

I Owe My Mother 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE . "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home." 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING "You are going to get it when you get home!" 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 22. My mother taught me GENETICS . "You're just like your father." 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

What Does Love Mean? A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think: _____ "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8 _____ "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4 (I love this one) _____ "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5 _____ "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6 ___ "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4 _____ "Love is when my mom my makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7 _____ "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8 _____ "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!) _____ "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet) _____ "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7 _____ "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6 _____ "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5 _____ "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7 _____ "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4 _____ "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4 _____ "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7 _____ "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6 _____ "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8 _____ And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry" ______ When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this. Father, God bless all my friends in whatever it is that you know they may need this day! And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you. Amen. Then send it on to five other people within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life. P. S. Five is good, but more is better.

Redneck Valentine Collards is green my dog's name is Blue and I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway. Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan. Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can. You have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd. On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms. Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape yo're there fer yore man, to patch up life's troubles and fix what you can. Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead. You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt. When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack. Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'. despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'. Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, we go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way. Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth. "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth. But for this man, honey, these won't do. Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds... IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!

Two Horses Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it. From a distance, each looks like every other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing. If nearby and listening, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to her halter is a small bell. It lets her blind friend know where she is, so he can follow her. As you stand and watch these two friends, you'll see how she is always checking on him, and that he will listen for her bell and then slowly walk to where she is, trusting that she will not lead him astray. When she returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, she stops occasionally and looks back, making sure her friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell. Like the owner of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need. Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others see. Good friends are like this . You don't always see them, but you know they are always there. Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.

A Marine's Prayer

WHEN WE GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH 1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS. 2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND. 3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO. (except Anna really can) 4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO 5.WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH. 6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!" 7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US. 8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT. 9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN. 10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop?) 11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT. 12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned - that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I've learned - that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned - that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something. I've learned - that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do but to the best you can do. I've learned - that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it. I've learned - that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I've learned - that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I've learned - that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I've learned - that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think. I've learned - that you should always leave loved ones withloving words. It may be the last time you see them. I've learned - that you can keep going long after you think you can't. I've learned - that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I've learned - that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I've learned - that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. I've learned - that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I've learned - that learning to forgive takes practice. I've learned - that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it. I've learned - that money is a lousy way of keeping score. I've learned - that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. I've learned - that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. I've learned - that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned - that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I've learned - that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I've learned - that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I've learned _ that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it. I've learned - that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological. I've learned - that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned - that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I've learned - that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I've learned - that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I've learned - that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to. I've learned - that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. I've learned - that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. I've learned - that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I've learned - that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. I've learned - that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I've learned - that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. I've learned - that there are many ways of falling and staying in love. I've learned - that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life. I've learned - that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most. I've learned - that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I've learned - that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I've learned - that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains. I've learned - that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us. I've learned - that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I've learned - that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. I've learned - that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used. I've learned - that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

Beauty Of A Woman A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman", she told him. "I don't understand," he said. His mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will". Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?" "All women cry for no reason" was all his dad could say. The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry. Finally He put in a call to GOD; when GOD got on the phone, the man asked, "GOD, why do women cry so easily?" GOD said, "When I made woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world; yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. I gave her sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her badly. This same sensitivity helps her make a child's boo-boo feel better and share in her teenagers anxieties and fears. I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes test her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed." "The beauty of a woman in not in her clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides."

The Creation Of A Military Wife When God Created The Military Wife The Good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. Whats wrong with the standard model?" The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to 4 or 40 with an hours notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move to a new location 10 times in 17 years. And oh yes, she must have six pairs of hands." The angel shook her head, "Six pair of hands? No way!" The Lord continued, "Dont worry, we will make other military wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husbands achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say "I understand" when she doesnt and say, I love you regardless". "Lord," said the angel, touching his arm gently "Go to bed and get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow". "I cant stop now", said the Lord "I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave goodbye to her husband from a depot, pier or runway and understand why its important that he leave." The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, "It looks fine, but its too soft". "She might look soft", replied the Lord, "but she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure." Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lords creation. "Theres a leak", she announced. "Something is wrong with the construction. You are trying to put too much into this model." The Lord appeared offended at the angels lack of confidence. "What you see is not a leak", he said, "Its a tear." "A tear? What is it there for?", asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Its for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear." "You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel. The Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didnt put it there".

Friends, You Mean A Lot To Me If I could catch a rainbow I would do it just for you, And share with you its beauty On the days you're feeling blue If I could build a mountain You could call your very own, A place to find serenity, A place to be alone If I could take your troubles I would toss them in the sea, But all these things I'm finding Are impossible for me I cannot build a mountain, Or catch a rainbow fair, But let me be what I know best, A friend who's always there