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SaTaNs QuEeN's blog: "thank you "

created on 06/22/2011  |  http://fubar.com/thank-you/b341846  |  1 followers

So its been brought to my attention recently that rumors have been flying about me. First of all thisis a gae people and i am here to play it . I dont really care what you say about me but i do have some friends on here that i truly care what they think of me. I am NOT nor have i EVER been on or worked for a sex site . What my ex did with pictures i trusted him with ..i have no idea nor do i care because whatever site he may have posted them on is a fake and no one will ever get a true reply from me! Do i have nsfw folder ..hell yeh i do ..every woman on this site at one time or another has had a photo marked nfsw ..that doesnt mean we're whores or sluts it just means your a damn PRUDE and ridiculous! I have a nsfw general folder which my family can view but the stuff in the named nsfw folders are no worse i just chose to make them private for that person or they ask me to make them private. Theres nothing on my nsfw that 85% of women dont have on here. Do i respect those women that post none ..fuck yes i do ! You go girls ! If you TRULY TRULY knew me and very few do on here then you would know i HATE my body and i am very harsh on myself. 

 

Now a little about myself that some of you know and some of you may not . Two yrs ago i met who i believed was my soul mate on this site ...no it wasnt some whirlwind thing ..we knew each other for a yr before we even got fumarried and then met in real life shortly after ..He knew i was currently in a bad relationship ..i never lied to either man about how i felt about the other ...i dont play games ! He came to see me and everything was amazing of course ..first times always are. He was the perfect gentleman ..helped me clean house and went to work with me everyday (im a bartender so pretty lienant ) and we truly enjoyed each other for a week. Then i went to see him and i realized maybe i was in over my head ...this guy lived in a hole of a house ..had no running water in the kitchen ..no towels to bathe with ...no food in the house ...but i love him and i decided so what and i helped with all the above ...i got him food ..got him stuff for his house ..helped him fix the sink enough to clean the dishes while i was there ..Over 1,000 dollars i spent while i was there ..i paid for everything! I loved him though and at the time i truly didnt care i just wanted him happy and in a place where i knew he was ok. Then come the day for me to come home ...he wanted me to stay and i tried explaining to him that i had kids waiting for me at home that i missed and i loved and that i would never leave . He had kids also but had been divorced for 5 yrs and only seen his kids once a month if even that . So i told him ...move with me ..we can come see your kids anytime you want or need. I was willing to support this but he refused ..said he wouldnt live in the same town as my ex . I left ...i had to ...my kids come before anyone...2 weeks later i found out he had cheated on me ...while i was in the hospital having a nervous breakdown over everything. It broke my heart into a million pieces ...but he told me himself and he told me he had made the biggest mistake of his life and that he loved me and wanted to fix it . He asked me how he could prove to me that he wanted me and not this girl... i made the biggest mistake here i think ...he was a photo grapher and did sexy pics of girls and this girl was a client so i told him to sell his camera ..no more half nude pics of girls unti we were TOGETHER ...then i would allow him to photograph again under my assistance. Which i had helped him before and he said he enoyed it. Well he sold the camera ...blew the money and ended up with nothing again. Over the next 6 months i put his internet in my name ...paid his bills ...bought him food and clothes online ...and encouraged him to find another job. He kept saying no one wants to hire a fat guy waiting on a heart attack. So i told him ..i love you just the way you are but if thats how you feel work on losing weight . When i met him he had lost 100 lbs ...from 350 to 250 and i thought he was sexy and gorgeous just how he was but i understood where he came from cause im the same way with my body. Well no job for like 3 months ..then he gets one and complains the whole time how bad his feeet hurt and his boss jilts him all the time on hours and pay so he quits ..then begins the 12-16 hr sleep days ...and he loses his house and moves in with his mom ...i make 6 bucks an hour plus tips i cant support everything and he gets angry cause he has to move in with his mom but theres nothing i can do. 2 months later his mom MAKES him get a job ...a desk clerk in a hotel ..he sits all night n folds laundry and eats then comes home ad sleeps 16 hrs to get up shower n do it again so i get frustrated cause i miss him ,,,he says i gotta sleep ...i said not 16 hrs and when u r up your with your friends not me and he says well come back down ..i say no you cant support yourself n you have no where to live where will that leave me? So eventully we break up because we just get to a point where we hate each other . Heres where u should never judge because you never know what someone is going thru . Every day i struggle with depression over this ...even tried ending it all 4 months ago ...i know its the cowards way out but the pain became so intense with out him that i just didnt wanna feel anymore ...didnt wanna cry one more tear over someone who dropped me and had a new girl in less than a week . It still makes me cry now as i type this ...i gave this man everything in me ..my heart my soul ..my life i put in his hands ! 

 

You all think you read a profile on here and you know someone or you think just because they have nsfw folders that they are sluts or whores ...you have no clue what people are going thru in real life. Stop and think people ...this is a social site ...you dont really know anymore then what people tell you !! You can see this hot blonde in a picture and it could be some old guy sitting in a chair smoking a cig. talking dirty to you ! Pay attention to how people treat you and speak to you ...youll learn alot more if you open your brain n not your heart to begin with ! We never truly KNOW anyone ! I do my best to help every person i can on here ..i never speak badly of anyone because i dont wanna hurt anyone the way i have hurt these past 2 yrs. Its a long road to get life back on track ! If you think that im a bad person for having nsfw thats fine but dont spread rumors about things you know nothing about ! I would never do that to anyone ...it could cost a LIFE .

 

 

To all my true friends ...i love you and i thank you from the bottom of my heart for standing with me and being my friend even over my 2 yr break ! Its truly a blessing to know i am loved and cared about ! 

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