"I ask myself 'why?' everyday. But I never get an answer as to why things happen. With guys, careers, friends and anything eles. I wish I knew the answers to things and to take things abck that I reget deepply."
I wrote this morning in psychology. Hmm... psychology ... thinking maybe there a coincidence between the two idk. But from that moment until 9pm I was fine I wasnt upset or anything just chill when I thought about things. Once 9:00 hit I became upset abotu what has happened in the past few weeks. And because I was upset I got more upset about being upset. I wish I didnt think anymore. I wish I was numb to everything. Im not really a smoker. And I try not to smoke when I get the urge to but recently Ive been so fed up that I want to smoke and destroy my body. Why cant I just be normal* again?
*NORMAL: me on a regular day not caring not happy not sad .. just chill
