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What are you waiting for?
I just want to be a sweetheart, but only to you, and make you feel needed, when you're lonely and blue. To try to lift your spirits, I'd go the extra mile, to ensure that you're content, so that you'll stay here a while. I'll always keep you safe, and away from all harm, I would wrap you in my embrace, and hold you tight in my arms. Yes if love ever gives me a chance, that's all that I'd need, dance away with my heart, I'll even let you lead.
I saw you again.
Eyes steely and blue.
Rushing memories.
A man I once knew.
I saw you again
Like the hundreth first time.
My breath catches
My mind rewinds.
I saw you again
My inside did lurch
My hands do tremble
My heart goes berzerk
I saw you again
I am all a fluster
You didn't see Me
To you I am but another.
Tie me up and leave me there
The only moment I'm free from fret
only thinking about what I don't know to be next
In this moment there is nothing to regret
Nothing to forget
Tie me up and leave me there
My favorite kind of wait
My thoughts not of you But what you could do
Don't be tender I'm here to cleanse my hate
Tie me up and leave me there and ever more I'll swoon
Where words aren't needed gasps go unheeded
Where later you'll lick my wounds.
Tie me up and leave me there
Even when your through
Make me wait
Ankles and wrists cannot escape
I'm worn and breathless wordless
Perhaps vacant
Not ready for my mind to awaken
So Tie me up and leave me there...
She waits for the response. Even though she knows it will be bland. Not saying much of anything while saying everything. Sometimes that little icon that says the message is there is all that she needs. Just to know there is a response no matter how empty it may seem.
There's that little empty place that fills just hair when she knows someone has reached out no matter how devoid, or bare.
There is a little rush to ask a million questions she already knows the answers to. Maybe to hear a familair ring in the words. Maybe to clarify the truth. No matter how she wants, the words she will not let fall loose.
And she woke up at 5 am because it was pointless to keep trying to fall back asleep. Her back hurt from the short fitful moments she managed to catch. Her sleepless ritual was at least consistant.
How can a person be so througly tired and yet be unable to rest?
Hanging off the side of the bed she lights yet another cigarette, and asks herself if she is ready for the walk to the kitchen, ready for the timless daily re-enactment to begin again. The coffee has won. So the day starts.
Coffee pot clicked on.
Restless dog unkennled and let outside
The wait at the back door while peeking up the side steps wishing the coffee would perk faster. Why does it always seem like an eternity for this dog to take a piss and the damn coffee to brew are the questions she asks herself while waiting.. why am I in such a rush anyways?
The house is quiet and the coffee is always strong and hot and frothy with her favorite creamer. A bitter sweet smile crosses her lips as she indulges in the first hot sip. This will be the best moment of the day... a quiet hot cup of coffee.
The rest of this day like any, other will follow a closely attended pattern. Freshly cleaned this and that... laundry, dog in dog out..
Facebook.Post something witty here. Lol and like this and comment on that. Dinner. Clean again, never forgetting to smile and nod, never remebering a better time, never looking forward to something unreal.
Keeping pace with strict cleaning standards she has set for herself... This is her job. She does it well.
The rest of this day would be just like any other....
Write to me in words of you
About temptation, about abuse
Lay them out with careless flare
Your words of truth, of hatred and despair
Lash them out
Unfiltered without care
Don't hide from Me
Your colorful hues
Come alive for Me
Your pain, my muse.
Spinning...
Emotions are reeling,
Spinning out of control,
With confusion & hurt
at the forefront,
Replacing the laughter
& hope of yesterday...
This roller coaster
Is the ride of my life...
Happiness, Longing, Love
Sorrow, Anger, Pain,
Butterflies daily.
My spectrum of
Feelings are endless,
They revive and
Awaken my senses!
Praying that the
Numbness is never
Brought upon me,
For then, I shall
Surely die!
It was there, right there
In the palm of my hand.
It's edges were harsh
the center so soft.
I had never held such wonder
Never felt this sensation
Sensory overload
I came alive from the prick and pain
that constantly stirred my skin
I rejoiced in the softness of it
That sweet center my prize
Did I blink
Did I turn away my eyes
This joy is now away from me
I'll look forever until it is again mine
Without it then I am lost
No other will I find
Come walk with me in my Garden of Night
Among dark things not loving of the light
Take my hand and together we can delight
In the tortures and spasms and wrighting plight
With seared flesh and curled up lips
Of moisture of of raging and upturned hips
Find things unleashed with violence and thrill
Where pain becomes pleasure
Where the Darkness is real
Smell of the musk that seeps and spins
Walk in my Garden
Let the release begin..
