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While logic sleeps

While logic sleeps I reach out with my heart's hand to feel her mind as we share some of the same dreams. While logic sleeps her mind's eye sees me reaching out to her and sees my heart beating faster. While logic sleeps she allows us to be, to share, to love and to laugh, all in beautiful living color. She lets me hold her, protect her from the cold and to dance with her as one. While logic sleeps I know peace.

But when logic awakes I feel the rush of embarrassment and foolishness and inner turmoil for ever having thought I could have such a beautiful soul in my overly-complicated life. When logic wakes she remembers why she withdraws and mistrusts and she focuses on the real people and the real circumstances in her well-established life. Unfortunately, logic always awakens.

For me, when logic sleeps an unlikely, unreasonable and impossible love awakens and lives. It becomes real enough to taste. It is powerful and palpable. But when logic awakes it remembers. It remembers the love that was felt so strongly only moments before was just an illusion. Wishful thinking. A flight of fancy and imagination. It simply never happened. While logic is awake I know sadness.

However, while logic is awake it also remembers that you can take a grain of salt and pulverize it ever smaller. It knows you can take the smallest visible piece you can create and as soon as you drop it onto your tongue you still instantly recognize - without a doubt - that it's salt. Salt is definitely real and can be positively identified in almost any quantity.

I have tried to listen to my logic. I have struggled to think instead of feel. I've honestly tried to sort reality from fantasy and I really do know the difference. Sometimes it is maddening. But in the end I know I've lost the recurring inner battle and reality ultimately yields each and every time. My logic can be asleep or awake and I am still intractably stuck.

I have come to believe that just as with salt, even the smallest perceptible piece of love is still love. So, awake or asleep - even if it's ever so slightly, despite my logic and experience and in spite of it being improbable, impossible, unreasonable or just plain foolish, I know that I do love her. Despite my very best efforts to cleanse my emotional pallet I still taste her.

@- While logic slept she seasoned my soul. @-

 

 

(C) 2010 - Mark B Blu

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