gee's blog: "what is bothering me"

well this sucks. i am supose to be getting things ready for my childs birthday party sunday and i was supose to be off so i could well now i have to work. my boss didnt even acted like she care at all. im not that crazy about her anyway. but that just put me where i dont like her at all. i mean she could of worked for me but no she is still moving this weekend and had to be off like that was more important then my childs birthday. oh well just wanted to to vent some on that

ok i have another problem. that i know noone can fix but is ok. thought i would share it anyway. i have another friend who is not talking to me and i dont know why. that is the part that is bothering me, i havent done anything to him at all and i would of thought i did he would of told me what i did. so i dont know if it should bother me that he is ignoring me or not. well maybe ill find out what is up with it. if i dont oh well. it was on my mind just thought i wuld share.

ok this is the thing. most of you know what i do 4 work.you also know i love my job. but here latey i hate going in. but today had me pissed off big time that i went and told the addminastrater. everyday i go in it seems like i done most of it. but today we had a pretty good size truck. and i put all of it but like 5 doxes away so i went over in time. not a big deal but i put up this truck by myself. so i finally had it and i went and complained about it im sick of it. im trying to deal with things as screwed up as they are. but then at the same time all i want to do is just go home. i dont know my manager know that i dont like her but im nice and do what im suppose to do but it is getting to the point that im fixing to say something to her and then get myself fired. well that is enough.

well i made it though my birthday. im really surpised i did. it was a hell of a day though, but by the end it wasnt so bad which i was happy about that. so anyway just thought that you all needed to know that i made it through. laters

well tomorrow is my birthday and im not looking forward to it at all. for 1 im working which sux but i can deal with that. and plus i just wish we could stop having birthdays. i mean i know im still young and all ill be 27 tomorrow not a bad age to be i guess. i just dont want to be any olfer and i know that is stupid cause everybody want to stay young. i really dont know what im complaining about just thought i would let everyone know that im getting older tomorrow i guess. bye to those that read this.

i have this friend that i talk to all the time. he is a very nice guy and i enjoy talking to him alot. but i am a little confused i guess. we have a wonderful relationship here online. the only thing is it that we dont really talk anymore we both are so busy it seems like. i mean i take care of 2 kids as most of you already know and now work is a mad house it is possible that im going to be working a 12 tomorrow and he is working a 12 tomorrow. but it wil be at night that he works. i dont know if we are going to have time to talk to eachother or not. i guess that is something that we will have to figure out. maybe it wont be as bad as im thinking it will be at all. well it was on my mind so i thought id share it. well i better go. if you have anything to add or whatever fill free to comment on it.

i have had a ok day i guess. i had to work and that was ok. but i got home today from geting the girls it was just a mess. and it ended yup bad i dont know what happened either. but i am real depressed and i dont even know why. i dont know what to do about it i just sit here trying to get over it and i cant this time not fully anyway. i just want to cry and i cant let it out. i tear up like im going to and then it just stops like it is teasing me. but i keep telling myself that i dont want to cry but that is not working either. im just in a mood tonight i guess.

well i have a whole lot of shit on my mind. and i dont have anyone to talk to about so i thought why not just blog it. ok for the past few days ive been in a pissy mood and the kids just aint helping, but that is normal. most of my friends know that i have moved in with my brother and that my ex bf is being a ass. that is not a big deal. but saturday my ex husband was supose to pick up my daughter (it is his kid too) at 4:00pm and he never showed up. he didnt even call to tell me that he wasnt able to and he usually does. so my daughter is really taking it hard this time the rest of the weekend she was really depressed and was crying this time. she cries when he dont come and get her but it normally dont last long. this time was different cause my nieces mom came down to she my niece so that made things worse for my daughter. i just dont know what to do about it i tell him what is going on and he just acts like it is ok and goes on about his own stuff. i mean he dont have to see her go though this and it is killing me. cause i have to watch her go though this. he has never been a daddy anyway not really he thinks that it is ok to get her when it is convenant for him to get her when he is supose to get her every other weekend. he has recently moved back to town and has only seen her 1 time since he moved back. he has never called her just to talk to or when he does call he never asked how she is or anything. i just dont know what to do. i know that he is screwing with her head the more he just pops in and out but i dont know how to get him to stick with it. im just frustrated about the whole thing. i know how it is to grow up with out a father and i didnt want her to but that is exactly what is happening. well i think that is enough bitching for now.