only if I knew's blog: "Well.. well.."

Well, life is full of shit, And it seems like it never gets better, My dad has a heart condition and I went and spent the weekend, down at my parents, only to learn that My dad is going to have surgery on Oct. 9 and Of course I have a million things going on.. around that time I will be taking my state exam for what I have been going to school for a year and a half.. The dr's are telling him and they are not sure if he will make it thur and that he needs to get things all ready just incase he does not make it. He has 3 wonderful grandchildern that would.. well Im not sure what would/will happen.. So like I said life is full of shit.

well.. well.. here it is just another day in my life, the thoughts of me moving are still in my head.. I will be flying to see my parents in about a week.. AND im about to turn 22.. wow that's bad... but good i think. Sometimes I just siting back nd think about were my life has gone, I don't feel as I should be 22.. nor do I feel that I Should have kids.. but then I sit back and think maybe were I am is perfect.. right?? or wrong?? but oh well.. So wow.. as I sit here and think about it I will be 22 in only a few days? wow IM getting old.. and not younger..I guess what my mom told me when i was younger is cathcing up with you.. But my friend keeps reinforcing that you are only as young as you act... so i got to keep that on my mind.. thanks

Well.. well. HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT WHEN YOU THINK YOU HAVE THINGS RIGHT WERE YOU WANT THEM SHIT.. JUST FALLS APART REALLY.. I MEAN.. OK TAKE THIS RIGHT NOW I HAVE EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE THAT I NEED.. AND THINGS ARE GOING GREAT.. AND THEN MAYBE JUST BY A PHONE CALL OR MAYBE BY THE SLIGHTEST MOMENT THINGS IN YOUR LIFE CHANGE.. JUST LIKE THAT.. OK THIS IS WERE I GO... ALONG LONG TIME AGO.. I WAS WITH THIS MAN AND THINGS WERE GREAT BLAH BLAH BLAH.. AND TODAY.. THIS MAN JUST CALLED ME OUT OF THE BLUE I HAVE NOT TALKED TO HIM SENSE THEN.. I HAVE CALLED A FEW TIMES, LEFT SOME MESSAGES AND TRIED TO GET A HOLD OF HIM.. BUT WHY TODAY DID HE CALL.. WHY ALL OF A SUDDEN.. HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME... AS IF NOTHING HAS HAPPEN... WELL HE FUCKED UP YES HE DID BECAUSE TODAY WHEN HE CALLED.. I DID NOT ANSWER THE PHONE.. I DID NOTHING DID NOT THINK ABOUT HE WANTED... GAVE MY PHONE TO A WORK EMPLOYEE THAT LISTENED TO THE MESSAGE AND DELETED.. IT I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT SAID I DON'T CARE TO KNOW.. DON'T EVEN REALLY WANT HIM TO KNOW MY NUMBER.. I WISH HE COULD JUST FORGET IT.. IF THAT POSSIBLE. SO WHAT DID I DO?!? I GUESS I DID A REALLY BAD THING.. I GAVE HIS NUMBER TO MY FRIEND THAT IS LOOKING FOR WHAT HE IS WANTING IM SURE.. OF IT.. BECAUSE WHY ELSE WOULD HE CALL OUT OF THE BLUE... SO MAYBE HE AND HER WILL MAKE IT.. AS FOR ME.. WHAT THE HELL DO I WANT.. IM NOT SURE.. IM STUCK IN THAT I DON'T KNOW BOAT AGAIN... OH WELL.... SO BE IT