so i'm trying to figure out why i care so much...i have an ex boyfriend who doesn't really seem like an ex boyfriend...everything we did as a couple we still do now as ex's...in a way i feel like when i'm asked out i have to say no but then i ask my self why when i know he is talkin to other girls...as far as i know it's just talking but i know he is a flirt...i don't know i'm confused and the worst part is that today is my b-day and he makes me feel bad for asking him if i should feel obligated to say no since we aren't anything...and maybe i used the wrong word when i said anything cuz i do care about him...i went as far as telling him that i love him which i never say unless i feel that i truely meant it and it's something hard for me to say even to my own family but now i think to my self why am i being so stupid and holding on to something that just might not be worth holding on to...he tells me all the time im not his girlfriend and i shouldn't get mad that he talks to other girls which is fine...i understand that but then he says that i'm not a booty call...so does that make me just a friend like all his other female friends??? he told me once i waisted his time...it's like he don't understand how a girl should be treated if a guy is interested in her...sometimes i feel like i'm only there when it's convient for him...i feel like the whole thing isn't going n e where...i have so many feelings on this cuz it bugs the crap out of me...i guess i just want someone who can make me feel special and be the only girlfriend in his life (i mean he can talk to other girls but only talk to me as a girlfriend not everyone else)...someone who wants to do nice things for me like i do nice things for him...someone who won't continue to rub my flaws in my face...like i said i don't know why i'm holding on but i'm starting to think maybe i shouldn't...=(
