New year......new experiences......new goals......new beginnings

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year. ......XOXOXOX

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

You couldn't handle me even if I came with instructions!!!!

I have a condition called selective hearing, so if I don't answer or respond to you, it's because my medical condition filters out bullshit and idiotic comments......

I can't tell you the number of times I've fantasized about running my cart into the heels of the stupid people that block the aisles at the grocery store!!

Don't get all weird about getting older!!! Our age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying us.!!!

I'm sarcastic and I have a smart ass attitude,......it's a natural defense against drama, bullshit and stupidity.......

If payback is a BITCH and REVENGE is sweet, I'm gonna be the SWEETEST BITCH you'll EVER meet!!!

It's hard to find a friend who's cute, loving, generous, sexy, caring, and smart. My advice to y'all is, don't lose me !!! :-)

I have decided that I no longer want to be an adult.......if anyone needs me I will be in my blanket fort.....coloring!!

Remember woman always have the last word in an argument.....anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument!!!

No I'm not a smart ass.......I am a skilled, trained professional in pointing out the obvious and I speak fluent sarcasm!!!!

Telling an angry woman to calm down works about as well as baptizing a cat!!!

TODAY.....I am going to be Productive, Understanding, and Nice.......WHAT??? Stop laughing....I'm Serious!!!!

I am fluent in three languages......English, Sarcasm, and Profanity!!!

Sometimes I imagine the Allstate mayhem guy taking the Geico gecko and shoving it down Flo the progressive girls throat. And then I smile a little!!

Men say that women should come with instructions......what's the point of that?? Have you ever seen a man actually read the instructions?????

Ever have one of those days where literally everything pisses you off?? Someone could be like "Look at that rainbow", and I'd be all "Fuck that shit"!!!

According to my boss, "Sick of being here" is not a valid reason to go home sick. What is up with this guy?!!!