.. My friend Annie finally admitted that she was so tight she squeaked.. All this time I thought it was the bed springs.

.. A recent survey shows that 74.5% of American women play with their pussy at least 3 times a day.. The other 25.5% don't even HAVE a cat!!!.... Have you played with YOUR pussy today??

.. GRRRRR!!.. RIP!!!... My friend Annie told me I had to quit being a bad doggie and stop ripping holes in her panties.. RUFF RUFF!!!.. sniff sniff lick lick!.. GOOD DOGGIE ELMER!!!

.. I told Mrs.Fudd I was leaving her and running away with her best friend Annie.. With tears in her eyes she said.. Damn I'm going to miss her.

.. There's only one thing better than a naked horny woman.. That's TWO naked horny women.

.. My friend Annie is a highly competitive sports fanatic who keeps score on everything she does.. The last time we had sex she won by the score of 5 orgasms to 1.. Then she wanted me to "jump bump" her?.. No Way!!.. That would have made it 6-1.