Don't you hate it when your super tired so you go to bed, get super comfy ... than your body's like "just kidding"

Happiness isn't something you remember, it's something you experience.

save water ... shower with someone!

I find it amusing that by reading this status you have allowed me to control your mind for approximately 10 seconds. Weird, huh?

hears someone screaming. That's the last time I buy Duct Tape at the dollar store!

Live your life to the fullest ... have no regrets ... and when you get in trouble blame it on someone else

watch out I have a stick and I'm pretty sure I don't know how to use it ... or do I

The weekend is here! Now for a friendly reminder. Never do anything you're too embarrassed to describe to the paramedics. Have a great weekend!

Truth be known... it is always better to be a smart ass then a dumb ass.

Sanity is entirely based on perspective

Seriously..If I'm smiling, you should wonder what I'm up to !! =)

hates when some people say "silence is golden" but the little voice in my head says "but duct tape is SILVER"

Happy Mother's Day. A big hug to all of the Moms out there and a big hug to all of those who are missing their Moms today.

its a good day to enjoy a snow cone

Everything is funnier when your mind resides in the gutter.

Thank you so much for making my birthday even more special with all your wonderful wishes! Trust me, it definitely means a lot!

needs an "out of order" sign today.

RIP Dick Clark (the ageless teenager) new years won't be the same without you

I'm not crazy ... don't you judge me! Your just jealous cause i get texts from the flying gummy bears and you don't!

be afraid, be very afraid I am totally unsupervised