"Hurricanes are like women, because they work on the very same plan, start up over nothing, make a whole lot of noise, and can't be controlled by man" Nipsy Russell

I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be. Benny Hill

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

Miscellaneous methods of Civil Disobedience: Standing in front of City Hall and chanting the word 'pudding' until one's demands are met. Phoning members of the 'establishment' and singing 'Bess, You Is My Woman Now' into the phone. Dressing as a policem

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

I think I've gotten more drinks than kieth richards has consumed in his lifetime, betty ford clinic here I stumble! ty everyone you all rock!! :))

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

When Reagan was President, we had Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now that Obama is President, we have no Hope and no Cash...

The way is not in the sky. The way is in the heart. Buddha

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and yelling, 'You want a piece of me?

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." Isaac Asimov 1920-1992 :))

Pastafarianism's credo "With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents—mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our God ...has la

Gary Clark's guide for Miscellaneous methods of Civil Disobedience: Standing in front of City Hall and chanting the word 'pudding' until one's demands are met. Phoning members of the 'establishment' and singing "afternoon deligh

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.

The saving grace of humor is that if you fail no one is laughing at you

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them

life would be far more interesting with background music