Over 16,544,867 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
Note to self: Do not watch delivery videos before bed...or ever. 24 weeks to go :D
Last night I dreamt I was trying to breast feed an incredibly small demon with huge razor sharp teeth...I'm hoping tonights dream is better lol.
Yesterday upon the stairs, I saw a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today. I wish, I wish he'd go away.
The pairs of emaciated eyes outnumber the single round in my gun. With pleading tears falling on her doll’s hair, I point the barrel at my last surviving daughter.
“Mommy check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Mommy there’s somebody on my bed.”
I begin tucking him into bed and he tells me, “Mommy check for monsters under my bed.” I look underneath for his amusement and see him, another him, under the bed, staring back at me quivering and whispering, “Mommy there’s somebody
Morning FU! Feeling like Hell so off and an today. Happy Halloween. Love on me if you feel up to it.
"Gentlemen, chop off my head with such velocity that my blood will rocket through my neck and propel my lifeless body all the way to Pheonix." "Why? Whats in Pheonix" "Well its your momma Steve"
My puppy got under the cover and got on his back with his legs straight up in the air...looks like a damn ghost is in my bed.
Step 1: Instead of ass say buns like kiss my buns or your a buns hole. Step 2: Instead of shit say poo as in bull poo poohead and this poo is cold. Step 3: With bitch drop the t cause bich is latin for generosity. Step 4: don't say fuck any more cause fuck
|
| previous statuses>>> |