Special thanks to Gothictink for helping out

need a big pimp gift to lvl

If you can't find anything else to be thankful for, remember this: You're friends with me and that makes you cool.

Dear Santa, I can explain... OK, maybe I can't. But I promise to be good from now 'til Christmas. ;)

I tried to log in on my iPad. Turns out it was an Etch A Sketch and I don't own an iPad. Also out of vodka.

Well, here I am unsupervised again...what to do, what to do

I'm feeling super lazy today. it's like normal lazy except I'm wearing a cape and mask

It's been awhile but I'm back

Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be brilliant but shit happens.

They say you're either a lover or a hater, but me, I'm a licker and a biter.

Where is this "chill pill" ~they~ talk about and how do i get like 5?

has a really great idea, but is gonna need duct tape, some C-4, a sheep, and an alibi... Any volunteers?

When I signed up to be an adult, I didn't realize the contract term or price. I would therefore like to give you one month's notice of cancellation!!

its days like this I am glad I never gave up drinking!!

Alright who turned off the sun?

God grant me the serenity to accept what i can't change, strength to change what i can't accept, and hiding places for the bodies of those who piss me off

If you can't laugh at yourself, well, don't worry. I gotcha covered.