This afternoon I walked into a fruit store and the clerk thought I was some out of town hick. "Those apple will be 2 bucks each" he tells me. That's where I out smarted him. I hand over a five and as he is about to give me my dollar change I say "Keep it. We're even. I stepped on a grape on the way in."


I'm Taylor. Lets build bath tub sand castles together. Im 19 years old. I understand that I look older. You dont need to remind me. My dad was on acid when I was conceived. That's probably a trip he shouldn't have taken. Im a girl of loose morals. I am to fly to be shy. I'm STD free. Are you? I do , in fact, do "drugs". I drink more than the recommended amount. I drink WWWWAAAYYYY to much tequilla, Jagermiester, beer , and whiskey. Southern Comfort and lime makes this girl loose. Give me the biggest fucking shot of disasterous ass backwards triple X 1000 proof shit in a glass. I truly believe in making yourself. People tell me I seem standoffish? So not true. Once you get past the sarcasm and insane sense of humor I'm basically a nice girl. I'm probably not as "gangsta" as you. But I like to front like I am. I'm most likely one of the dumbest people you will ever talk to. I choose not to educate myself. I think we don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time. We can simply dance and party all night while drinking Cherry wine. Do you know why I LOVE Kellogs? I enjoy people who can rage and have an amazing dry sense of humor while standing out in a crowd without even trying. I tend to take nothing in life serious. I love to party. Im pretty damn good at it. This one time I got drunk and beat up hooker. True f*in story. I don't like guys who are rocking titties bigger than mine. I'm pretty honest and cut throat about things. Or so people tell me. I expect people to be as honest as I am. PLEASE don't leave me those damn weird blinking "Thanks for the add" bullshit myspace things. I hate them so much I don't even know what they are called. Take like 2 min to actually type out "Hey thanks for wanting to be my friend." Ill appreciate it a lot more. My friends are my life. I wouldn't be the same without them. Tattoos and piercing's are pretty cool. I have 8 tattoos and 7 piercings *Septum, nostril, both cheeks, tongue, smiley, and vertical labret* So please don't ask what all I have pierced. Im seriously wanting my high nostrils done. Anyone wanna give me $75 and go with?! I like people who are pierced and tattooed. But I don't wanna hear about how your cool for having an eyebrow ring and some shitty tribal tattoo. I wanna know if Im the only one who drank the dirty, bloody, inky, soapy, nasty water after getting their first tattoo. Im tired of all the "aspiring tattoo artists". That profession is as dead as being a rockstar. I want to talk to someone who can shock and amaze me. I don't take music to seriously. I like what I like. I listen to all kinds of shit. I probably don't wanna hear about your band and wont check them out. I'm a fucking creep. I have a mouth like a sailor and talk about things that would make a hooker blush. I don't wanna see your penis. Unless its like super cool looking. I don't want you to see my vaginal area over the internet. I probally wont show you my tits either. If you can make me laugh and be a dick Ill most likely love you forever. I can probally make your dick hard and make you wanna vomit with the same sentence. I have this horribly weird thing against people tanning. It seriously drives me crazy and someone even talking about it makes me wanna puke. The same with the words eggs and mayonaise. Fucking yuck. I hate being called dude. I dont have a dick. So therefore Im not a fucking dude. Dont tell me you wanna cum on my Mom as a reference to my tattoo. Or Ill tell you all about how your daddy has a huge dick and throat fucks me every night. I talk about sexual grossness on a daily basis. Its not strange to me. You can NOT offend me. Seriously. Ive heard it all. Twice.

Glamorous White Girl is MY sexxy bitch! Shes my baby momma. Even though her inner pussy lips hang lower then the outter ones! JOKING. Both of us have very attractive pussys. K thanks.

AND if I don't respond to your little "Shout" thing...I'm not ignoring you. I'm probably just not paying attention or something.