SUBJECT: PRICELESS

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the limit), a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked "What'syour hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the snide cop, "what do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? Andjust what does arectum stretcher do?" "Well," she said, " I start by inserting one finger,then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's about 6 feet wide." "And just what the hell do they do with a 6 foot asshole?" he asked. "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...." Traffic Ticket $95.00 Court Costs. $45.00 The Look on Cop's Face. PRICELESS!! Life is good!!!

What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Violent You are violent. To you there is nothing better than a good spank. You like scratching and biting 'cause that's what people are for. Hot 81% Violent 81% Wet 69% Exciting 63% Shy 31% Sweet 25% Soft 19% Awkward 19%

LOL.Someone put this in a Mumm I voted on.Hysterical:


A WOMAN'S POEM:

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

The End