Can't you trip like I do?

My kung-fu is undeniable and I am an outlaw in Peru. Even though I am a private citizen I receive fan mail. I once single handedly fought off a ship load of pirates while wearing a dashing tuxedo. I was asked to lead a small European country that I had never been to, I had to turn them down because it would have taken time away from my lunar mission. I am beloved by children and the elderly. I am both radioactive and invisible to modern radar. I am made of an indestructible titanium alloy yet still have the delicious fragrance of baked bread. I am difficult to spot with the unaided eye. I have the hoary powers of the occult, while still being a master of countless scientific disciplines. I both walk the walk AND talk the talk. I have won countless world shuffleboard championships and have grown county fair winning radishes. The wikipedia entry about me is written in ancient Sumerian and is the topic of endless scholarly debate. I once rocked out so hard it destabilized the orbit of the ISS. On quiet mornings I re-invent forms of teleportation. People on the street ask for my autograph for no apparent reason. I receive critical acclaim yet remain a humble man of the people.


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Ooooookay, here's the real deal:


What you see is what you get. I am pretty much 100% no bullshit. I am a bit distant and more prone to those who value conversation over static. (i.e. I like dialog, not monologue) I'm a single midwestern guy. Gainfully employed and doing ok. I am an eclectic mix of conservative values about some things (I am a die hard libertarian) and non-value judgments about others (your life, and how you choose to lead it is your own. As long as it doesn't cause harm to others.)

I have a very, very, very dry sense of humour. Assume irony over insult if you come into question during a conversation with me. I love to cook, an ice cold beer and a good book. It takes very little to make me happy.

I don't do hidden agendas.

I am something of an H.P. Lovecraft junkie, if you don't know who that is, and like horror fiction, write me.

While I like fubar and have had some interesting conversations, the whorish popularity contest aspect of the place kind of freaks me out. Please don't ask me to get in some sort of ratings fest to promote whomever (including yourself).

Honestly I really don't care. If I like you and what you are up to I will rate the hell out of all your stuff. But really isn't this more about talking and meeting one another then some sort of who gets to wear the tiara at the end of the day sort of horseshit?

Talk to me, I'll talk to you. It is that easy.

Like life should be.

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I'm a simple midwestern boy that sacrifices to Elder Gods and hates anything to do with faith, superstition or the things that oppose reason.

I love kindness, altruism, charity and you if you feel the same way I do.

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I am currently kind of exhausted and bloodied by the economy but still standing and fighting.

If you ABSOLUTELY need to find me outside of here: I am:

Matt *dot* Cowger AT Gmail (dot) Com