Blowjob Etiquette (by a female)

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".

What a life we live.. All hidden under masks that can not be removed. Sitting in the dark afraid to see what the light may show. What a life we live.. Always showing a different side, never knowing the real us.
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I have made a life of misery and now I have to live in it. The day of darkness is upon me and the light is too far away. The colors are fading and everything looks gray. I need to be brought back with a kiss from the lips of my prince.
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Eyes are in deep stare
Breathing slowens and becomes more deep
Breast rise to each breath taken in
Skin becomes sensitive to the touch
Sexual thoughts rush through the mind
Warm pleasurable feeling overcomes your body
Lips become more plump and the center of attraction
Soul purpose now is to get their eyes attention
Every move is more slower and sensual with feeling to it.
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The world has yet to turn
Eyes of redness, burns
Tears of sadness form
Feelings run through your skin
Small bumps are scared to the surface
Can't handle this much more
Don't know why I let this happen
My life needs joy
I need love but love for myself
Throat tightens
Can't breath
Can't think thoughts other than ones I have tried to forget
Can't handle this anymore
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Heart racing, feel the world has come to a stop.
Nervous sweat beads form all over
Weakness takes control of your body
Thoughts race through your mind, so fast, so many they crash together impossible to form just one.
Own low self-esteem image makes the body tighten up afraid to open, to show, to expose.
Goose-bumps take control of your skin, forcing it to surrender to them.
Stomach becoming a roller coaster and knotted up every which way.
Everywhere is so sensitive the slightest touch will give you shivers all over.
Enter,
Pain and pleasure mixed together rushes through out your whole body.
Slowly, very slowly the pleasure tries to over take the pain.
Lips puff up and become luscious, redness covers your lips to the shade lipstick was made for.
Slowly the roller coaster of a stomach flattens out, to get closer to the end of the ride
Breathing fastens, shortens
Such deep breaths that causes moans to erupt out
Teeth so firmly closed that pain of soreness shoots through them.
Pleasure has taken control, bursts into every inch of the body.
The body takes it as a gift and finally opens itself to let all out.