Johnnymontana's blog: "Thoughts on the Sundry"

Fortunately for all of you that read my work, I have a very simplistic brain.  This is good news because it takes not much concentration to follow this blog.  On the other hand it might be good to read the other blog in this section before you get into this because we are taking on some very weighty and unanswerable questions today.  Some would say why discuss this if you have no answers.  I would respond because most of the religions in the world do the same thing and they have no answers based on fact either.  Why not just join in and have an opinion.  Better than sitting around wondering if others feel what I do.  If they do not they wil tell me I am an idiot.  If they do have something in common with my idea of our place in the universe they will realize they are not alone in their beliefs.  I just want to have peace and know where I am going cause no one gave me a road map with rest areas when I came popping out of Mom's womb and the doc slapped me on the butt.  So lets think about random versus design and planned in the universe. The big argument between creationists and evolutionists. 

Evolutionists say that everything in our universe began with a big bang.  So do many rock concerts I have performed in or seen in my life.  Astronomers, who are basically space physics and chemistry guys,  say they have scientific evidence all this "big banging" actually happened.  The problem is that they are not telling me where the bang came from.  I am certainly not a physics guy but  I do know that to have reaction like an explosion or force to create a universe and planets and comets and stars, you need to have a match.  I know, this is very simplistic but I told you I am not complex.  Think about it for a moment.  To start a big bang one would need one of those BBQ lighters x 10 to the trillionth power wouldn't you think?? So who made the lighter Mr. physics guy?  They say they have not got that part figured out yet. How convenient for them.  The  facts are though that with our modern technology and knowledge of physic, chemistry and other disciplines there was certainly some kind of powerful force that created this universe.  We see it in the astroid belts between Jupiter and Saturn and other debris fields we have detected and more information is pouring in with the Hubble telescope which can see farther into our universe than any other tool designed by mankind.  There is a new telescope in the works that will be able to detect life on distant worlds and if it is there we will certainly find it.  This i snot future technology but actually available now.  They also will be able to find out if these worlds are prime for a McDonalds franchise and maybe a subdivision or two depending on land values on that distant world.

Now this big bang stuff drives religious people nuts.  Believe me it is a long hike off a short pier for them.  This is not what their scientific book the Bible says.  It says the world was created in seven days.  Get out!!! This is not a magic act we are talking here.  We are talking about a chemical and physical process that created other reactions that then led to heating, cooling of land surfaces on planets and eventually created what we now know as, for example the planets in our solar system.  If you look at the pics from the recent Mars Rovers that have landed on Mars you will notice that Mars looks alot like the desert in Arizona and eastern southern California.  So the idea that men are from Mars may be partially correct except we actually evolved in its sister environment Arizona.  What women are saying is that men came from a dry desert with lots of rocks and sand.  Sounds about right.  Of course women are from Venus which is basically a lot of hot gases and insufferable air pressure.  I leave that symbolism to your imagination. The point is though that we have worlds that appear somewhat similar, have volcanoes and lave pouring out of them and many of the other natural phenomena we see here on earth.  We did not know this a hundred years ago.  Now we do have some sense of the likelihood that many parts of the universe do appear to be based on laws of the universe rather than us being special in our little niche.  Sorry religious folks....that really is a fact.

But we have still not answered the question of where the particles and matter came from to create the BBQ lighter that set off the big bang in the first place. Congratulations religious folks, this is where we have to look to you and will tomorrow.  The big bang, whoever set it off, created laws of the universe that are much to organized to not have some thought behind them.  We will look at that tomorrow...

I am going to start a series of blogs this morning that will run for ...well I don't know how long.  Probably until I get finished.  I thought it would be interesting to look at where we are on this planet, our place in the universe and how we might take all those pieces and fit them together in this little puzzle we are doing called life.  Just some nice light reading with your coffee in the morning.  It really is, however, the very essence of what we think about deep within as we struggle with all that occurs in our lives.  The ups and downs, the loss and tragedy, the joy of our families and children and loved ones.  The necessity of gaining material goods and the need for love and happiness.  The disgust many of us feel at those who do not care about others even though they ride in the same cosmic boat and never seem to pick up an oar and give a helping hand.  Instead they want to hurt us rather than help us.  

Let me say to start with that I am not writing this to convert you to anything.  I have no agenda and no idea where this will take you because each of you have your own unique experience in life, circumstances and choices along life's highway that have led you to this moment.  I am not particuarly religious and do not belong to an organized church.  I am going to ask you to take much of what you have learned throughout life and put it up here on the table next to your coffee.  You can get at it and draw from those experiences as we explore this topic but try to open up a little and drop some of the preconceived notions you have had and take a moment to have a fresh look at the universe and our place in it. 

So with that serious disclaimer lets have some fun with this and maybe learn something along the way. I am not, as the title to this blog suggests, very thrilled with the idea that I evolved from monkeys.  Now it is not that I mind the idea either.  I just want to be able to climb trees a little more quickly so I am really not clear this is where we started. I do know I like bananas so that is a plus cause we all need potassium in our diet. According to scientists we started as some little one celled organism in the ocean millions of years ago.  Christians teach we were created and placed in a garden with plenty to eat and no work to do.  Awesome!  What the hell happened?? Something went off track there if that is true.  Others teach we appeared in random out of the nothing and then became something that returns to nothing.  Makes perfect sense to me!! There are those that say we are in a battle with nature and good and evil and if we are good we come back in another life as a celestial angel...if we are not we come back as a lady bug. I am going through this to come back as a grasshopper??  Get out of here....I need to have a better answer than that.  So do you.

The first thing we need to decide is what this place is we find our self floating on through the universe?  We are on a giant piece of matter that is moving at thousands of miles per hour on a set pattern, dodging and sometimes not missing huge rocks that come flying at us from all directions in space.  There are huge storms that create winds that destroy all in their path.  The ground at times shakes under our feet and if you live near water, that shaking creates huge waves of water that come washing up on shore and destroy a nice day of sunbathing.  We have mountains around us that spout fire and ash.  We have germs that infect us and make us sick and eventually end our life.  This is getting depressing and all I have to say to the creator of the universe if there is such a thing is thanks...nice job.  Forget the Christian concept of hell.  Sounds like we are already there if you ask me. God really did not do a very good job and we are stuck in a not very nice place overall.  Not to mention the things we have created and built that are a threat to us.  I am amazed more people just don't find a nice bed, pull the covers up over their heads and say I am staying out of this mess.

On the other hand we see all the beauty of the world all around us. For most of us that is an incentive to pull the covers off our head and go outside and have a look and experience the beauty and wonder that is all around us.  The glorious sunsets, the colors, the feel of life if you will. The feeling you get when you meet someone special that creates little butterflies in your tummy. The taste of coffee in the morning or a cold beer on a hot evening after you have been working all day in the sun. The cool breeze on your face on a hot day.  You can tell I am writing this in the summer when it gets very warm but things like the glow of the Christmas tree on a cold winters night and loved ones around us.  Or the smell of a beautiful flower.  All of these and much much more are signs of something good in the world.  

So the first thing we have to decide or come to a conclusion about is whether all this we experience, the good and the bad, is just random or is it something that is part of a design by something larger than we are.  The idea that we can not see this instinctively is irritating.  If it is part of a larger design than we have a design flaws of major proportions that would send most manufacturing engineers back to the drawing board. I liked the part about wandering around the garden with some scantily clad beauty and not having to work and having lots of great sex and affection.  That was a good design and needed no tweaking or fixing.  If it aint broke don't fix it!!!  Someone or something sort of messed this up a little it appears!

So tomorrow we will have a look at the basic facts and I promise to be a little more humorous in my view cause we are now at a place where tings are looking very funny to me and I will point those out.  Sorry to make you wait for the next part but since I don't have a garden with unlimited food on it, since someone tweaked the original design, I have to go out and earn money.  It is irritating but the way of the world.  Hope to see you back here tomorrow.

I have now been on Fubar a little over two weeks and I thought it might be helpful to my newer friends here to give a brief, and those of you who know me understand brief is not in my vocabulary, analysis and impression of my experience on this site.  I have not been sober since the first day I arrived so am not sure any of this will be meaningful as I am in a constant state of shit-facedness but I will do my best, especially in light of the fact that just this morning I received 46 martinis and am still able to sit here and write this ridiculous blog, walk upright and talk on the phone, all at the same time.  Don't tell me this place isn't magic!!

If you are a man, and I am one the last time I checked, the first thing you notice on Fu are the vast numbers of incredible and beautiful women here. If you don't notice them then you are in need of a serious eye exam cause they sit in little boxes on your page, little boxes that float past you on the top of your page, little boxes that do not move and things called blasts where many of the ladies make seriously seductive comments like, " come bang my rang and spank my boomer". As we have discussed in past blogs, men have a constant run of testosterone that is basically never ending.  So for a new guy on this site who has no idea what a "rang" and "boom" really is, comments like that will cause an unusually high burst of testosterone that in turn leads to the purchase of blings and huge number of rates to impress the lady which in turn leads to her leveling and you paying your credit card bill at the end of the month.  It is a great system and I am filled with awe for Mike and his staff here for having such a handle on human nature and exploiting it to the max.  Nothing wrong with that of course, we are having fun....but guys...you are never going to SEE that woman who wants her bang ranged or whatever it is much less actually touch her.  Yes ladies we are pervs but it is a God given ability and we are often not able to control stupid thoughts and comments.  Blame God not us. Never forget that!

Speaking of the ladies, as you read profiles of women here, and I am one of the few who actually does that before going to the pics, there are many women who will tell you they are not here to meet anyone romantically so, as one lady put it in a profile I read the other day, "don't even try it or I will delete you!"  Then I go to their pics which are numerous and would make any porn site green with envy.   I am thinking, oh good, you aren't looking for anyone but you are in to torturing men by putting your large and lucious breasts all over your page. Makes perfect sense to me.  So like many other aspects of the game, I see this is designed to get my testosterone level up to an intolerable rate and then I will spend hours rating her pics and sending her blings and bombs and all kinds of other things.  She in appreciation will send me a martini.  Good plan and I am waiting for my next credit card bill to arrive.

So my premise after two weeks is to use great discretion who I play with here. That is an admirable goal and NEVER works.  Why?  Because testosterone knows nothing about admireable goals.  It does know about beautiful faces, pretty hair and large breasts.  Unless you have a firm grasp on yourself when it comes to these things we will immediately run out and buy more stuff for a lady who is fumarried to someone else and living with someone else away from the computer.  You really do not believe there are real men who actually are nice who see this gorgeous woman in real life and do not have an advantage over my fake drinks I am offering here.  The key, guys, is to use self discipline to meet people you actually have a chance of talking with in this life and who may actually be attracted to you.  That is why Fubar designed these gifts and inticements.  So the point here is do not buy a bling for someone who in her blast tells you she loves her fu husband.  Instead, write when she asks for an expensive bling and tell her to get her fu husband to buy it for her.  If he says no, tell her to get a Fu divorce and get with someone like me who is not a cheapskate and will appreciate you for the beauty I will never experience in real life.  See? Makes perfect sense.

Leveling gets tougher as you get higher up the Fu ladder.  To get to the celestial Fu heights there are many hoops you must jump through and you need good people to play with. I am still learning about these various tactics in the game.  I do know I appreciate Baby Jesus and his staff, especially last week, for having the courtesy and appreciation for members to give us double points and unlimited 11's when they were having problems with their server.  You will never see that on most large sites.  Just a quick sorry and lets get back to it.  So to keep Fu ad free it is great to buy things here just for the sake of supporting the site.  This is the rationilization I use everytime I buy a bling for someone that never speaks to me again.  No guts no glory and I at least can make up some lame excuse that makes sense to me when I get my monthly credit card bill. Whatever it takes to make yourself look good when you were stupid!

So all and all this is an awesome site and lots of fun as long as you take it with a grain of salt. I will write more about this over the next few days but right now I see an awesome looking lady in the blast box that wants me to bang her hard.  Oh God bless testosterone,.  Where is my credit card?  I have some bangin to do.  More later....

Years ago in college I took a class in the Radio-TV department at the University of Montana that was taught by the chair of that department and a man who had been in tv and radio broadcasting for most of his life.  Basically, he taught about coming trends in communications and the way people would interact with each other in a new world of mass communications. I took this class in 1981 before any of us owned a computer in our home, in fact, before most of us even had an inkling of what computers were about much less having seen one. One thing he talked about is the way we would meet members of the opposite sex online. What stuck with me was his comment about the creation of illusion that would take the place of seeing someone in real life who actually moves and talks and looks in your eyes. I remember many of us in the class looking around at each other and shaking our heads in disbelief as he talked about meeting our potential life mates without having to leave our home.  This concept was unheard of in the early 1980's, long before many current 20 somethings on here were even born.  It certainlly was nothing like my great conquest of Amy Rattinger in the 8th grade at Perry Jr. High in South Florida. 

Amy was the most beautiful of all the 13 year olds in our class.  She had long dark hair, was very pretty, had beautiful eyes and dark tanned skin. What made her particularly beautiful to a 13 year old boy was her overly developed chest compared to the rest of the girls in our school.  Amy sat two desks over from me in my last class of the day, 6th period world geography class. While Amy was beautiful I was about the diametrically opposed opposite.  Geeky looking guy who wore glasses and was shy.  I was however athletically inclined on the sports field and the quarterback on our jr. high football team.  Therefore I was a hot commodity to a 13 year old girl and was to stupid to know it. What I did know was I wanted a chance to touch Amy Rattingers chest and short of touching it at least have a moment where I was with her and she was with me and the possibility was somewhat plausible.  

We had a record hop every 3rd Friday night of the month at our school from 7PM to 11PM. I decided I would try to ask Amy to meet me at the dance since at 13 I did not own a car and we were dependent on our bikes to get us to the dance.  I thought I could dance with her and maybe during one of the slow dances feel those luscious mounds in some way. The problem was I probably would have to be going steady with her, as we called it in those days, to really have a chance to get near those Mt. Everest look a likes! Now 13 year olds going steady in do not talk much to each other. We would talk about each other to our friends.  But I was going to have to actually talk to her to go steady and then I was going to have to ask her to dance to feel them in some way.  It was almost to much because a 13 year old does not have a clue much less a plan but I did know  I had a chance cause I was the quarterback on our football team. Being the quarterback on a football team gets you many things you really do not deserve or are ready to experience. So after geography class one day I walked up to Amy in the hall where she was talking to a couple girlfriends.  The one you wanted was always talking to a couple girlfriends.  She smiled at me and walked over to me and that is the last thing I remember. I recall a few small things like shuffling my feet and staring at the ground.  I remember muttering words such as , " I like you", "wondering if you would wear this ring" ( you gave a girl cheap ring in those days to wear around her neck like you owned her or something), and several other incomprehensible things I can not recall now.  What I do remember is not being able to see her face because her chest was in the way. I also remember sweating alot. Typical day on Fubar come to think of it.

Well my plan did not work.  She was already going to the dance with someone else.  Probably would have been better if I had asked her a couple days before the dance but as we have already determined 13 year olds do not plan things out very well.  Come to think of it I see that alot online with adults. She did say, although I barely remember hearing it as I was running down the hallway in complete dejection, that she would go next month.  Thirteen year old boys do not know what next month means.  We have barely thought about tomorrow. I never went to any dance with Amy and never tried to talk to her again.  I think back on it now and wonder if she was waiting for me to do that.  She smiled at me in class and said hi all the time and was friendly.  Our football team went on to win the city championship that fall and I was popular with many other girls.  None had the attributes of Amy and I am convinced that this has been a mental glitch in my thinking throughout my life.  The one difference is now I can talk to women without taking my eyes off their face.  So something positive came out of that experience at least. 

So I watch for Amy on the little pics of people that scroll by up here on Fubar.  She would now be in her mid-50's and probably her gorgeous chest is sagging a little because we have been exposed to the forces of gravity for many years and it is beginning to take its toll. That is ok cause I have things sagging too.  I would recognize her I bet. And things would sure be different this time around I can tell you that for sure!!!  I could buy her a drink, send her a diamond ring, become her greatest fan, and maybe even send a friend request without shaking ort breaking out in a cold sweat.  Oh to know then what we know now.  We all have an Amy Rattinger in our lives in some form.  The good news is that we learn and grow and now, if we have done a good job at that, we understand that in each of those little pics that scroll by us on the top of this page, is a life filled with experiences. Best of all we don't have to worry about their chest getting in the way of their face.  Where are you Amy Rattinger??  I have it down now!!!  Or do I???  More tomorrow....

There are a couple basic truths in the universe, for example, jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is hazardous to your health except if you do it while the plane is on the ground.  The sun seems to rise every morning and set every evening.  Most importantly, men are born with a constant run of testosterone and women are born to have total control of the testosterone spigot!  This is a fact of life like gravity.  There is nothing any of us can do about it and it means that the ladies are in charge of the universe.  At least our corner of it here on this planet.  Guys, I am sorry.  We have spent most of the course of human history trying to show how dominant we are.  Yet that soft and beautiful lady over there need only expose a little cleavage and we are reduced to complete blithering idiots within seconds. 

Many people do not know that men are given an orientation on these universal truths just before birth.  I am not sure what celestial university does this presentation but I remember it clearly and know there was some nice looking man in white robes that was our instructor.  I recall there was a blackboard upon which was sketched a man and a woman in very limited anatomical detail. This is why from about age thirteen guys have a constant need to find out what a female looks like without clothing.  Anyway, in this class we are told that we are being sent to a world in which we are not much different from an elk in fall rut locking antlers with another equally horny male elk for the right to procreate their species with all the good looking females in the herd except in the case of human male elk,  the rut never ends and the herd is huge.  We are also informed that while we may act like elk we are actually meant to have one partner in this upcoming life and watch all the rest of the good looking females walk around us in cute shorts and tops with low cut necklines. So, we are told, you are basically being sent out on an impossible mission and any memory of this class will be erased in a puff of smoke as soon as you enter this new world. So get out there and procreate!!! With that little admonition we find ourselves yelping at the top of our lungs with some woman cleaning us up and getting ready to hand us to the woman who carried us for nine months.  That kind of sets the tone for the rest of our life symbolically speaking.

Now men, before you get in a rut over all this with me, remember this is a law of the universe.  I am just the messenger so don't start snorting and wanting to lock antlers with me. I didn't create this mess, I am just a participant and  I am not the only male that sees this stuff clearly.  Look at Fubar.  The whole system is based upon exactly what we experience in human life. We see a nice looking lady out and about somewhere and immediately the testosterone starts flowing at an increased level and we begin to drool internally and, in my case, while trying to act cool and debonair , turn toward her with a sensual if ill conceived look and trip over a chair I  didn't see because I was making eye contact with the ladies beautiful low cut top. When I recover from my near miss with the floor I buy her a drink and some symbolic bling. Don't tell me Fubar is not exactly like real life.

So men, you should take pride in your testosterone. Fortunately for us, the ladies seem to need what we have to offer. Just not as often as we would like to offer it.  Therefore we are reduced to doing things like making ridiculous pic comments, status comments, posting pics of our hairy chest and basically making fools of ourselves while the ladies get together and point and smirk.  But don't let that deter you guys.  All of this is simply a much less violent form of the rut we talked about earlier.  And basically harmless and good entertainment for the ladies.  We will explore this over the next few blogs from both the male and female perspectives and in the meantime I need to get my credit card out and buy some bling for some ladies here who I will never see in real life much less touch.  Don't tell me I didn't pay attention to my prenatal orientation.  I am on this like white on rice.  More tomorrow.    

So I have now been back on Fubar for about a week and am being reminded of the perils of playing on the internet. So far this weekend I have rated I would guess about 3,000 pics 11 and have received 10 pic ratings, one bling and a few drinks in return, one TYVM XXXOOO  and that is about it. I appreciated my first bling very much and I was not expecting that cause I have not been on Fubar long enough to know what to expect half the time. Now I really hate to be critical but it is apparent I need to regroup and calm my expectations here a bit.

I am not a noob online and have been on many sites, met some very nice people and some real jerks.  I am certain many have had the same experience as it comes with cyber territory.  I am not the type that is very pushy.  My premise has always been that if your talking or interacting with a lady online you need to remember that you are not in their presence physically and usually someone else is so never take any of it very seriously until you make eye to eye contact in the real world.  Here we do not have the luxury of being able to watch someone move, blink their eyes or make a facial gesture when we write to them or communicate, ( I have yet to be on webcam so I guess you can there and it might be a more positive experience). What I do know is that on Fubar, as well as many other social sites, we are basically involved in a window shopping mentality when it comes to meeting people.

So on Fubar one of the main criteria is to play together nicely as one friend of mine asks us to do on her profile status.  If I take a few hours to rate  profiles with hundreds of pics on it I am not unreasonable to expect she might pop on my page and at least rate a few of mine.  Especially since I am new and don't have many pics up yet. Not as though it would take anyone away from other people for hours on end. Just a basic courtesy it seems to me.  I know, I am just out of my mind for thinking that is part of this game.

So I see it is time to alter my expectations after my first week here.  I am not obssesed with points.  I will get to that point in time.  I do think this is a nice site for social interaction as long as you spend a couple grand a month on blings and such.  I never had the expectation that meeting anyone here was in the cards for me.  Plenty of younger nicer looking guys in the windows.  I did think people would be a little more courteous and so I think I have not found the right people to play with.  I am not mad or upset about it.  Just learning about what makes this site tick and altering my game plan a little.  Tomorrow I will talk about basic expectations in communication here and some of the really funny irony I see in the way people interact.  For now I better get back and start deleting and get on with my window shopping.  After all, I want those special abilities I have been reading about.  We can all use a few special abilities in this life.  More tomorrow....

I had to have a colonoscopy last month, my first.  The doctor said it was time.  I remember thinking is there ever really a time to have someone stuff a hose up your butt? Now I am not a prude and I realize there are some that would relish that thought.  I am not one of those people.  I have an extensive medical background and they made me take anatomy in college and I understand the function of these various anatomical areas quite well.  That part is not meant to have things go up it.  I do know that it is important to have these tests though and it can save your life so as a public service to those who may be skiddish as I was I am going to report on this event to ease your fear and perhaps encourage you to have one.  No pervs, not four a day...sheesh.

The first thing you need to know about this procedure is that the worst part is the night before.  The medical folks send you a jug of liquid to drink the evening prior to the test.  It is a very strong laxative.  It is not a two tablespoon dose.  It is a gallon jug or at least seems to be a gallon.  The instructions said to drink it all and stay close to a bathroom.  If I ever have to do this test again I learned you want to have lots of reading material, can take a course in astrophysics, probably write a book, work on your computer, if you have a laptop, don't try taking a desktop in there with you, and much more.  The idea is to clean out your system to make things as pleasant for the doctor as possible.  I remember after finally feeling as though I was cleaned out I never wanted to eat again after all the trouble we went through to get that hummer sparkling in there.  My attitude is that staying clean is a good thing but I just never thought about that area needing a good power wash. 

The procedure itself is not bad.  I have been going to the VA for years cause I am a Purple Heart vet.  They do not believe in giving heavy sedatives for anything. They believe in paralyzing you for most procedures.  I am not making this up. So by the time they wheeled me into the procedure room and turned me on my side facing a huge big screen tv I could have cared less if Patton and his army were going up me and it was fine if they wanted to camp out for the night. We should be allowed to have that drug everyday. Life would just be less stressful cause we wouldn't mind anything going on around us.  Come to think of it that might not be such a hot idea.  I do remember asking the doctor to tell me when he started the procedure.  He said he had already begun and looking at the big screen facing me confirmed that as I was being transported up a darkish narrow chamber that looked incredibly clean thanks to my efforts the night before.  Now if you think about it this is a unique opportunity.  How often do you get the chance to travel around in your colon?  I served in elected office for many years and had a few folks say I had my head up my butt but I can confirm that I did not recognize anything I was seeing so those disgruntled constituents were incorrect. Before I knew it the whole thing was over, and by mid afternoon I was back to my normal self, normal being a relative term in my case.  

I hope this has been some help for those of you that may need one of these unpleasant procedures in the coming years.  I can tell you it is painless and really only takes a couple hours.  The view is unique but you can't dance to it.  The beat is awful but itt can save your life.

I tried to help Doc Murney find the hidden polyps. I did not find any but he found three.  All snipped out and benign.  I was home in a few hours and back to my old self that evening.  Well worth the piece of mind.   

First, let me thank you for checking in on this blog. I will try to write every few days while here on Fubar. I am working on my second book right now and trying to run my place in the mountains of Montana, am an activist and a nurse in a revolutionary homecare pilot project for Montana that I run out of my home which is very satisfying and important because it is a project that allows families to care for their loved ones at home without nursing homes and brings the care to the patient which is much more cost effective for insurance and Medicare patients. I am also a musician, saxophone, if you haven't read my profile, and much more. I also am an artist of some fame in the Northwest and actually make money at that.  My premise in art has always been that I want to make money from it now as I don't want to be famous after I am dead because I am pretty sure there are no banks at the next level after this life. I love art for art and all that stuff but nothing replaces a few bucks in your pocket so screw eclectic art thinking and make some money. So far that is working out ok. I write humor and we will see how humerous after I finish the introduction to this ridiculous blog. Anyway thanks for checking this mess out and hopefully it will be entertaining and thought provoking enough to get you back every now and then. 

A couple weeks ago I got up early one morning and noticed, while staring at my mug through sleepy eyes in the bathroom mirror,  some wrinkles around my eyes and this unsightly flab of skin hanging under my neck that would certainly make me a candidate for Thanksgiving dinner come November.  I turned on the light to get a better look and noticed a few more wrinkles on my forehead.  I had never seen these before so was certain they must be the result of sleeping at a strange angle or some attack on my face by my pillow.  So I decided I better get a new pillow.  My reasoning was that since I had never noticed these abirations before they would recede over a few days.  I was wrong and the wrinkles are still with me.  I now understand the need for plastic surgeons although I guess I will keep hoping this new pillow will do the trick. I am also understanding I am not 25 any longer and while my doctor has told me that several times , and I refuse to pay him for that information since I did not have to go to medical school to understand that fact, I am now painfully aware of the need to try to touch up my photos here and gain some insight into proper photographic angles to attract ladies who do not like wrinkles......the whole thing is a pain and I can tell you it is not the way I would have done things if I were in charge. I don't know who thought of this system but it is not funny!!!

I would have started all of us wrinkled at birth and the way to get rid of them is to gain experience and wisdom through life. When I was 25 I looked awesome.  Other than that I didn't have a clue.  This is because of the constant testosterone release men are given after age 12.  I will get into this more in future blogs but suffice it to say that at 25 we look great and have no conception of communication.  We do have a conception of soft skin and beautiful eyes and large breasts.  Now I am in my 50's and still love beautiful eyes, soft skin and all the other wonderful female attributes but understand that to get to those lovely parts one must first look within and be able to communicate.  Unfortunately I am fighting with my pillow and do not look the way I did when I was 25 which is irritating since I finally know what I am doing to some degree and have the life experience that makes me at least aware that all is not about large breasts.   So whoever came up with this screwed up system of aging was just not thinking clearly and I want it fixed!!! 

Of course the great thing about Fubar is you can get shitfaced here and still communicate effectively.  Now that I am a little older and have a few wrinkles I understand I am not able to do that in real life. Thanks to many of you I am shitfaced and still able to write this blog and drink coffee. Amazing what modern technology can do. More on thisd mindless stuff tomorrow ....