K e n's blog: "Thoughts From A Wandering Mind"

"Hello there, my old friend,not so long ago, it was til the end. We played outside in the pouring rain, all the way up the road, we started again." ...Life By The Drop...SRV. Knowing how our lives change, day to day, it funny how things, and people...slip away. Just yesterday we were spinning around that pole...laughing...with not a care in the world, and now......as we grow....concern. We are not the child inside adults bodies, trying to become, and leave behind what was, all the time thinking....i can`t wait to get older. We meet people who we, when younger, believe that life could not go on without....who are now...that soft cloud, in the sky....just a nice thought. There are those, who still....remain, and still amaze. Some who would be surprized that they are held in such high regard, and would never stray. As good as things are...as well as you know people.....they change, they grow....and very seldom, they need to be reminded......ti does not matter, you are loved for everything you are...and will ever be. 2thedawn

1) Living in a town where sweat pants and cowboy boots , SEEMS to be a fashion statement 2) The idiot(s) that assumed that a woman dying on a train, and others not feeling so great...MUST be the return of SARS (or something like it).....AND, throwing the country into widespread panic mode. 3) Emmitt Smith, for breaking Walter Payton`s rushing record a few years back...have some class and retire...like Barry Sanders did...so the record could stand 4) The Town officials...for not having the insight 10 to 20 years ago....that you can`t live on ONE industry, and not planning sooner...for the future. 5) The looming war between Itchy & Scratchy, Bugs & Daffy, Jack & Locke, Chef Ramsay & Anyone 6) Just because she is smiling , does not mean Britney is sane now ! 7) More people having to recognize the massive influence that the New York Dolls have had....on todays music industry. 8) Just because the hat says U.S. Army.....does not mean i support war. I support the troops....ones dying for what their leaders believe in.....and just doing their job. 9) Johnny Fairplay....can Bonaduce throw him around some more? 10) the drunk that thought it was funny to hammer on my door tonight...they cry "don`t hurt me" as i chased him in my gotch down the street tonight (i did not hurt him) 11) Carneys......short, dirty, and smell like cabbage 12) MTS...when are they gonna get there collective heads out of their ass`s 13) The dumb ass kids at MBCI that think they are tough enough to have a "Fight Club" .....tell ya...that one was funny. 14) ....Nick Cannon?......Jermain Dupree? come on ladies....get some glasses ! 15) Djs who don`t know any music that is 3 years older ....or more...know the road, dumb ass ! 16) The fact that i am actually gonna sell the records....still can`t believe it. 17) Flyers fans.....nice flag on your truck.....redneck ! 18) buying a tv.....a good one.....and then having to spend 700 dollars to be able to get the 9 dollar package of HD channels......whooo hooo 19) Kanye West....genius.....not.....try making a song without someone else`s original mixed into it......superstar ! 20) Treena`s daddy havin that insanly huge boat.....and no fat kid in it to be balast I could post more.....but then i would have missed the working of the town drunks, in my back yard....(more to come later)

My mom......is the best. I know your all gonna say...well....everyone says that. But...its true, my mom is the best. And, she never claimed to be the best, she just did. She dealt with all that came at her, like all mothers....and never gave up. Even after her 4 kids put her through hell for so many years....trying and testing her, she still has more love for us....than i do think....some of us deserve. Mom was brought up on very strong morals, by parents who, to this day....i cannot ever see as replaceable. The love and respect that came from my mothers upbringing has transfered into the love for her own...family and children. There was no "Dr.Phil", or "Oprah" to watch to help figure things out back then, so...she did what she felt was best. I know....i drove my Mom nearly batty when i was a kid. I did not always feel what she and my Dad did was right, but hey always had my best interests in mind, and i am a product of some very good upbringing. I have to say...after all that childhood was for me....i would not EVER ask for things to have been done different...for me. I think....i am a rich product of how i was brought up. I love you , Mom. Thank you for all that you are.......the best. 2thedawn

I am beginning to believe (doh) that, its not just sunshine and lollipos that should fill your days. You have to have a equal balance of good and bad. Like, when that fat austrailian guy farts beside you.....bad, but not the end of the world (maybe). Bad days, and bad times....things seemingly not going well....is supposed to ....be. When i`m down, and yup...living the glorious existance i do.....i still...get down, makes me more aware of what i`ve go, and what i need...is not always what i seem. It sometimes drives me nutty (er) listening to how some people can`t ever see that life is more than their so called "ho hum" existance. Funny thing is...if you were not so consistantly down on your self....things would be better than you seem. Hey...i know i don`t walk around town with a big smile, and hugging and kissin all that i run into......but....i am ....generally a happy guy. Good jobs, with lots of time for me, a roof over my head....mostly good people around me, and....fish. Mom told me once...don`t sweat the small stuff. its true. if someone makes a comment to you....that you might not like, take it in...and evaluate it. Don`t let it consume you, and burn within your firey pit of hell.....deemed for redemption. Someone says something to you...that you don`t like...ask yourself why...and maybe if...you need to make changes. It bugs me that some people...could have all and more...if ther just were not so damn negative all the time. Just my thoughts at the moment......sunshine & lollipops. 2thedawn

it does not matter how bad you think things are, or how your 114 million dollar check blew away....dancing monkeys.....GOTTA cheer you up.http://www.metacafe.com/watch/865433/dancing_monkeys/ http://www.metacafe.com/watch/865433/dancing_monkeys/

As i was messing about, doing some cleaning (yup). I saw something that made me stop...and feel horrible. My Dad`s Fathers Day Card. Yea...i KNOW ! Ok.....i sent an e mail card, but....its just not the same. Anyone who knows me...knows...i am horrible at remembering birthdays, and ...well...sending cards and such. But you know....what hit me the hardest....is that my mom & dad ALWAYS remember me. Birthdays, everything. Its bothered me...and will always....that i did not send that card. Here is why..... My Dad....is the kind of guy who would give you the shirt off his back, then ask you if it fit right, and if it did not....he could fix it for you. No kidding. When a "ex" of mine visited my parents with me, she stated that staying with my parents was like being treated like royalty....because of how they go out of their way...to make you feel more than welcome.....no matter how much of a mistake she was (lol). My dad ...always put his family first, well before him. I am glad mom & dad retired, and spend a lot of time state side....taking care of themselves....for a change. And yet, i don`t think that is what makes my Dad , the best. As a kid, my dad worked...and worked...and then, when he had time off...he worked some more. In all of my years, i could never put the full blown effort in...like my Dad always does. We...as kids, NEVER went without....anything. And....if times were tough...i can tell you...we never saw, or heard a word about it. We always had the best of everything, and never went without. My Dad did not have an easy childhood....from what i know, and still....he could not be a better parent. As we did have a good life as kids...we did not have things handed to us. I learned hard lessons....things to this day...are so deeply rooted in my life.....i will never forget, and always thank....my dad. As an adult....i know, i will never be the man my Dad is, and i am proud to try to be .....like my Dad. I love you, Dad

Its rough. I`ve been in this situation before. As i look around, i find comfort in being able to identify some of the things i can barely see. I`m not sure how i got here, but i think its gonna be...as it usually is....up to me to find my way home. Looking along the side of the road, i found an old flour bag, reasonably dry, and in one piece. Folding it in to a smaller square makes it somewhat comfortable, and will do until i gather my thoughts...or get picked up. I know the road, is pretty quiet, this time of day, but there is always someone....diving by...at all hours. Alone...in the middle of nowhere, all this space....and no one. there is near silence, except for the odd sound i make, to remind me that i am still alive. Hours pass, days, even weeks. Who`s counting? At times its all just a blur. Kicking gravel and pulling weeds,passes the time...but does not make it any easier. Finally, someone see`s me, and stops. I know them, but we are not friends, and conversation is limited. I give brief directions to where i belong, and will sleep until... Thank yous are given, and as i am...usually...gracious for the help, i say so....and then roll over....wake, to become stranded again. 2thedawn

Last night, i "participated" in one of my last dj events. I will still be open to opportunities to play music, but have begun to "pass the torch", and am training new dj`s. For the first time, i feel i need a rest. For the last 27 years (started when i was 16...sneaking into bars...JUST to watch the dj`s), i have fought the good fight, i have finished the course, and...i have kept the faith. Playing music was all i had ever wanted to do. I still want to play music...but...i need a break....mostly from drunks, and the pressure (yes) of having to be "ON" ....and perhaps, myself ( not a drunk). I am loving playing live...on line...and will expand on that soon.Playing music on line...for an international community...is a thrill...especially when you can play Keb Mo...for someone in ireland...and then something from High School Musical...for someones kid....in florida....its a great feeling. Will still do special events....an weddings for people i know, but....i just will not be so willing to just go play....every weekend. I currently..and will continue to....run the dj end of things.....at Sound Innovations. I have 2 great Dj`s coming up...learning..and showing MUCH promise, so....that makes me happy. a few years ago...my mentor...the guy who taught me the bulk of what i know...as a dj...came to visit. I observed me training...a new dj. It really got to him...because...what he had learned...was being passed on. I see....those i am training, now....and feel that good feeling too.

I guess , like most of us, when you get sick, you feel a little sorry for yourself. I don`t know that i feel that way, but i sure hate having a cold AND the flu, at the same time. But...then again, some have it worse. Finding ways to complain, when others lose loved ones, or have conditions that will surely....take them far away.....far far away. So, who am i to complain. Sure...i get like a suck, and wish for relief. My sniffles, and my sore stomach....are nothing, compared to other worries. I have, while i sat and coughed all day, thought about things....like we all do. I look at what most precieve as "necessities", and i don`t consider...what i am supposedly lacking....as, well....necessities.Who measures their happiness in life, by......what they got. I`ll tell you, its those who will always feel that they are missing something. Those who cannot ever see the gift of life as....just that....a gift. Things in my life...that i do not have, do not really worry me. I am not saying....i do not want. But...with the mass confusion that comes from that "quest", .....who needs it. measure your life, not buy what you have, and what you will have, ....instead, buy who you are...and how YOU....feel about.....YOU.

( This is something i wrote a couple years back....i have added a bit...and altered my note some...but the message still...remains the same.) Now...i don`t want to get too harsh here, but this day is something that has been deep rooted in me since i was a child. Even before i really understood why it was "Remembrance Day"....i knew...it was something i should take seriously. My dads mom & her husband were vets. He a navy vet....and she a worker in a plane construction plant. In years after the war, they both were very instrumental in building a Royal Canadian Legion in Thunder Bay Ontario...which today, stands as a testement as to the hard working, and strong supporters of vets and the Legion. I know my Gramma was a hard working woman, single mom...who struggled to make things work. My dad has alot of that determination in him...influenced by her...and others. They are both gone now....to rest. there is not a day that i do not think of them...and my other Grandparents. My moms parents did not serve in the war effort, but those who did not...were not necessesarily uneffected by it. War effects all. Back then, it was harder to get by, and things were never as easy as they are now....for us. Those who lived back then...will always see things as so much better ....in general...for us..all of us...who had the good fortune to not see world war. We are at war today. Our soldiers are fighting wars that have no imediate conflict with Canada. As a vet (yes, technically) and a soldier, it is our job...to follow orders...and not question policies......even if we do not agree the choices that out governments have made. I do get questioned about why i do wear some military hats....well...its simple. Some men, and women...your family & friends....people you grew up with....are serving their country, AND....not asking is they could be stationed here....so they can be safe. The job of a soldier is to follow orders, with out hesitation....EVEN IF...the politicians making the ultimate choice..........are absolute idiots (some). I support the SOLDIER....not the cause. Let yourself think of the things you have done this morning....or today. Would you have had those seemingly non important things availible to you.....if our soldiers had not fought for your futures...and those of your children. Lets see....the choice to brush your teeth...and choose your toothpaste. Having fresh food....in your house at any given time. 2846639920 channels on your tv,.....for your lesiure.....availible at any given time. Choosing to travel, drink, smoke, gamble....ect. Imagine that young 18 year old (or younger) who may knot have fully understood why he was enlisting...but did. He fought and died.....in defence of YOU. He surely thought....this might kill me, and i may never see her again, or ....my family. Most, without much reason to doubt....gave their lives. I go through today....thinking of what could have been....if we had come out on the losing end of ww 1 & ww 2. I think of the pride i have in my grandparents...all of them...and the sacrifices they made....and efforts to make things better for the children in their futures. I think of how they would look at us...and be amazed of how much we have...and still...wish for more. For some time , i have thought about what i have....and what i really need....and knowing how much less they had...when they were young...i seem to think....i, and alot of others...are doing mighty fine. I think of the time i spent in the military....short as it was, a time that was not all to happy for me...but still instills pride in service. Respect for what is tradition....in remembering the past...will never go away....and should be carried on. I take time today to think of your friends and families....with those serving today...right or not....in a dusty desert somewhere, in a cold mountainside...looking for terrorists, serving across the world.....giving their lives.....for their countries....without question, or hesitation. I take time to think..., remember.....and be thankful. R.I.P.