iGirl's blog: "This little mind of Mine!"

By yours truly Mary Along came a spider And sat down beside her And frightened the poor girl away. But what if that spider was afraid he might bite her So tickled fear up her leg? She looked down at her skirt Afraid it would hurt And her heart knew there'd be hell to pay. -------------

Ok.So Fubar I guess would be the outcast side of me.So why not admit to the feelings I hide from my betty crocker well wishers.I am married.I have 4 beautiful children.And in a boring, risk free world, I love my husband.But like anyone else, I crave chaos.Totally unsure if I could actually handle it or not.I use to have that.I remember those days and I recall that back then I yearned for these days.Kind of like wishing for winter in summer and summer in winter.But if I could live in a perfect world, I would walk through life with no social security number and no birth certificate.No verification of who I am.Then I could be whoever I wanted to be.I know I am not the only one to feel this way.But every single day I wake up wanting the same thing.Amnesia, blue eyes, and Marlboro Menthol lights.

Mama, papa forgive me Out of sight, out of mind Out of time to decide Do we run? should I hide For the rest of my life Can we fly? do we stay? We could lose we could fail And the more minutes take To make planer, or mistakes 30 minutes, the blink of the night 30 minutes to alter our lifes 30 minutes to make up my mind 30 minutes to finally decide 30 minutes to whisper your name 30 minutes to shelter the blame 30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies 30 minutes to finally decide Carousels in the sky That we shape with our eyes Under shade silhouettes casting Shapes crying rain Can we fly do I stay We could lose, we could fail Either way, options change Chances fail, trains derail. 30 minutes, the blink of the night 30 minutes to all of our lifes 30 minutes to make up my mind 30 minutes to finally decide 30 minutes to whisper your name 30 minutes to show her the blame 30 minutes of bliss, 30 lies 30 minutes to finally decide To decide, to decide to decide to decide [And again, tatu song.Check out my stash for video.]

This was an accident Not the kind where sirens sound Never even noticed We're suddenly crumbling Tell me how you've never felt Delicate or innocent Do you still have doubts that Us having faith makes any sense Tell me nothing ever counts Lashing out or breaking down Still somebody loses 'cause There's no way to turn around Staring at your photograph Everything now in the past Never felt so lonely I Wish you could show me love show me love 'Til you open the door show me love 'Til I'm up off the floor show me love 'Til it's inside my pores Show me love, show me love, show me love, Show me love, show me love 'Til I'm screaming for more Random acts of mindlessness Commonplace occurrences Chances and surprises Another state of consciousness Tell me nothing never counts Lashing out or breaking down Still somebody loses 'cause There's no way to turn around Tell me how you've never felt Delicate or innocent Do you still have doubts that Us having faith makes any sense You play games, I play tricks Girls and girls, but you're the one Like a game of pick-up-sticks Played by fucking lunatics Show me love, show me love, 'Til you open the door Show me love, show me love 'Til I'm up off the floor Show me love, show me love, 'Til it's inside my pores Show me love, show me love 'Til I'm screaming for more

The flower said, "I wish I was a tree" The tree said, "I wish I could be A different kind of tree" The cat wished that it was a bee, The turtle wished that it could fly Really high into the sky, Over rooftops and then dive Deep into the sea. And in the sea there is a fish, A fish that has a secret wish, A wish to be a big cactus With a pink flower on it. And in the sea there is a fish, A fish that has a secret wish, A wish to be a big cactus With a pink flower on it. And the flower Would be its offering Of love to the desert. And the desert, So dry and lonely, That the creatures all Appreciate the effort. And the rattlesnake said, "I wish I had hands so I could hug you like a man." And then the cactus said, "Don't you understand, My skin is covered with sharp spikes That'll stab you like a thousand knives. A hug would be nice, But hug my flower with your eyes." The flower said, "I wish I was a tree" The tree said, "I wish I could be A different kind of tree" The cat wished that it was a bee, The turtle wished that it could fly Really high into the sky, Over rooftops and then dive Deep into the sea. And in the sea there is a fish, A fish that has a secret wish, A wish to be a big cactus With a pink flower on it. And in the sea there is a fish, A fish that has a secret wish, A wish to be a big cactus With a pink flower on it. And the flower Would be its offering Of love to the desert. And the desert, So dry and lonely, That the creatures all Appreciate the effort

You never knew I felt the way I do.And now unfortunatly, you probably never will.Must admit that it breaks my heart.Must admit that it hurts much deeper than I am willing to admit.But maybe we were just to different to begin with.But now I am moving on.I remembered you for a couple days.I loved you still for a few days more.But now I am taking my first few steps out of the rubble out of the storm.And when I look back I see you still laying there in the bed you made.You are still asleep and unaware that the entire world around you has fallen down.But now as I turn around and walk away, I realize that I am walking away.My wounds haven't killed me and I have woken up and risen from that rubble that you still lay in.And I will find happiness.I will laugh again.I will feel again.But you will wake up to find that your world is still the same way it has always been.The beams have trapped you.And unless you find your strength, you will never escape.But in the event that you do, you will find I am gone.

Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one To build me up and tear me down, Like an old abandoned house. What you said when you left Just left me cold and out of breath. I fell too far, was in way too deep. Guess I let you get the best of me. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. You took a hammer to these walls, Dragged the memories down the hall, Packed your bags and walked away. There was nothing I could say. And when you slammed the front door shut, A lot of others opened up, So did my eyes so I could see That you never were the best for me. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. Well I'm putting my heart back together, 'Cause I got over you. Well I got over you. I got over you. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.