AHH, The three R's Retribution, Restitution and Revenge.
How sweet and painful the thought; heroin for the heart.
The anger feeds upon itself
I relish the pain.
And what is the price we pay, the annihilation being so complete?
What is left when thoughts and dreams and loves are gone?
And still another day Rises and sets devoured by Rage.
I Raise my head and scream.
It is my Right! I have been wronged!
Time does not heal; I have refused it's comfort,
Robbed of innocence and hope
I clamor for restitution; I want revenge!
My new dreams have murderous undertones,
The screams of the wicked drowned by the laughter of the righteous.
Eventually unrecognizable each of their faces bleeds into the next.
I am weary, My grasp on this fantasy weakens.
I have not the stomach nor the heart left; I am destroyed.
But can I become the oruobus?
Only by his own destruction does he continue to grow.
Nursed on fear and injustice he was fattened with my hate.
Those other faces long gone I look at my reflection today.
I search for the perpetrators but only one person peers back at me.
Who am I?
The destroyer or the creator?
The victim or the offender?
What became my dominant action living or dying?
I have found my answer, but it is ugly, not the neat little package I wanted.
I was harmed in so many ways, but there was no retribution.
Once beaten down I continued to imprison myself.
I examine my face; once sweet, now set hard.
After years of scowling at the world
The wrinkle between my eyes now a permanent brand
No one held me down and twisted my face.
I can't blame society or my family I did that myself.
My skin is a vanity, but what about my heart and mind?
Those my necessity
What damage have I done on the inside?
I blamed them but it was I that fed upon the pain and created scars
