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Deer Meat

DEER MEAT A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. T he kid s were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue. Well, he said, 'It's what mommy calls me sometimes'. The little girl screams to her brother 'Don't eat it, it's an asshole..

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN DAMNITOL Take 2 and the rest of t he world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours! EMPTYNESTROGEN Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.< /SPAN> ST. MOMMA'S WORT Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. PEPTOBIMBO Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. DUMBEROL When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. FLIPITOR Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. MENICILLIN Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person.' BUYAGRA Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. JACKASSPIRIN Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift and/or lower the toilet seat. ANTI-TALKSIDENT A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. NAGAMENT When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him.

The Rose Will Grow

The Rose Will Grow by Don Eagle How can we trust love, and be sure it will last? We gave our hearts to others, many times in the past. We shed many tears, and built many fears. And now we're afraid to let our hearts go. Because of the pain we've come to know. But if we are to love again, we have to take the chance. And trust our hearts, our only guide, to find that true Romance. So if we hide the Rose from the light, we'll never see it grow. But if we plant it in the sun, we know the Rose will glow. So tear down the Iron Gate you built so high and open up the door. The love you find may be the kind, that you've been searching for. We know that deep within there is a special part. And we know for love to live, there has to be a spark. And when that spark, grows to a flame. The heart we gave is never the same. The days begin and end with songs. And to that newfound love your heart belongs. You walk on clouds of fluffy white. Knowing and trusting that your heart is right. The Rose will glow and love will grow. And make a spectacular sight. For all that see the Rose, will see the petals bright.
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