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I Hate, Therefore I Am

Do you know what happens to a boy when his mother routinely betrays him for her own personal gain? He either becomes very f***ing angry or turns gay. He learns to never trust a woman ever again. Mine did that to me most of my life. When I had something important to say about how I felt, she told me to shut up because her TV show was on and she couldn't hear it. When she has anything at all to say, even if it's something EVERYONE AND THEIR DOG KNOWS, she won't shut up until she's forgotten about it, and if anyone tries to shut her up or even logically try to make her stop talking, she just starts yelling and screaming and making everyone within earshot want to shoot themselves just to get away. Trust me, if I'd had a loaded gun, I would not be here today. When I told her very personal sh*t as a kid, things I didn't want repeated, guess what? It became part of the conversation when she started talking to her "friends" the next time (yes, even they only listened because they didn't want the yelling fit aimed at them). No privacy, no right to speak, no right to make a decision without her say...I am so full of hate it's just part of me now.
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15 years ago
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