01-06-07
I'm finially making our big announcement, we found out that I'm pregnant! I'm about 6 weeks along. We are just hoping for healthy. So much has happened I'm still reeling over it. I found out about a week ago that We are expecting, since them I have already got all the appointments and paperwork done for any expecting mom. A few days ago I started cramping andcalled the doctor. We went in and did an ultrasound and saw our baby, and its heart just beating away. Later that night I started spotting so I worried and called the doctor, they said it wasn't common but it wasn't unheard of when you do a vaginal ultrasound for spotting to occur, and that if it got worse or tissue started to come out to go straight into the ER.
Well today I took the kids to Wal-mart and got their pictures taken, which you will see in my pictures. I realized that I was bleeding heavily not too long after that and went straight to the ER. I don't know too much right now other than I have been put on strict bed rest and if I am loosing the baby there is nothing that I can do about it and I just have to see. They did an exam and it didnt show my cervix open so it is unlikely that I am miscarrying. But I am supost to go back in on Monday and get released to go back to work. I will post in this same blog what happened, even though I don't know when this will be made public.
01-14-07~~
Monday we went in and found that the baby had no heartbeat. Which started a lot of tests- blood tests and exams.
Thursday we got all the results in and found that I have a tubal pregnancy. We chose to have a chemical induced abortion because there is no chance of the baby surviving and if left it can be deadly for me. The babys heart had already stopped beating, so the baby was no longer alinve. This was a very hard decision for both of us and I'm still dealing with it. I got the shots and we are now monitoring it and if everything is not clear in a few weeks I go in for surgery to finish removing whats left.
I know I'm having trouble explaining whats going on, so forgive me. I'm not being indifferent, I just honestly have no idea how to respond and I am still trying to accept it. I have yet to start grieving, and I know it will be bad when I let it completely sink in.
God knows I wanted and already loved this child, I barely had time to get used to the idea that we were having a baby then that was taken away from us. I know I am keeping my head up and not letting my family friends and especially my daughter see me break.
I love you all!!
