Helly's blog: "stuff"

I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some bitch in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down the number. 

A couple of days later, right after calling the first cunt(I had her number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW cunt too. 
I said, 'Is this the lady with the black BMW for sale?' 
She said, 'Yes, it is.' 
I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?' 
Shee said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax . It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front.' 
I asked, 'What's your name?' 
She said, 'My name is Daisy Hansen.' 
I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Daisy?' 
She said, 'I'm home every evening after five. 
I said, 'Listen, Daisy, can I tell you something?' 
She said, 'Yes?' 
I said, 'Daisy, you're a cunt!'
Then I hung up, and added her number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two cunts to call. Then I came up with an idea.......
I called cunt #1.
She said, 'Hello.'
I said, 'You're a cunt !' (But I didn't hang up.

 She asked, 'Are you still there?'

I said, 'Yeah.'
She screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
I said, 'Make me.'
She asked, 'Who are you?'
I said, 'My name is Daisy Hansen.'
She said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, cunt, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'
'She said, 'I'm coming over right now, . And you had better start saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, cunt!' and hung up.

Then I called cunt #2.
she said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hello, asshole.'
she yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
I said, 'You'll what?'
she exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass!'
I answered, 'Well, cunt, here's your chance... I'm coming over right now!'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my lesbian lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax . I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just in time to watch two cunts beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead News helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

Anger management does work 

I feel much better 

long story short (dies laughing like I am able to do that) 

brought Moms taxes to the same place the last 6 years they were fast reasonable and easy 

last year they said the bill for doing them was 200 dollars more than previous years ... when I objected they agreed and said they would adjust it. Went back still not adjusted again agreed it should be way way WAY lower. They said they would fix it ... file her return and bill her.

Flash forward a year.... turns out they did not adjust it or bill her or even file her return. We found out when Mom was told she had to pay for her medication bc there was no return on file. I went back calm  as can be talked to them explained the problem made it damn clear no way in hell an increase of that magnitude would be accepted. They said yes yes yes we will fix it immediately ... I left this years taxes with them again stressing what kind of bill I expected to recieve for their services. Got a call the next day all was done went in to pay off the 2 years worth this time they wanted over 400.00 to file both returns and gave me all sorts of she has this this this this and so on as to why. I went ape shit demanded a superior to speak to. 

flash forward a day..... district manager called me back tried to sell to me that the woman that did Moms returns the last years discounted her against what they would have approved and they to where shocked and not happy but the price is the price is the price is the price. I went super bitch and informed him he changed the price is the price is the price is the price or I would take both years slips back and they get jack sweet fuck all for the work. He finally came back with he would wave last years bill but Mom had to pay this years bill basically still 100.00 more than what she expected. 

blumm part 

accept this ... go ape shit again till it falls in line with what Mom paid the other years 

am I the only one  finds the folder title *our new puppy!!RIP Buster* disturbing and funny at the same time 

If you were planning a 85th bday celebration for your mother renting a church annex and inviting all her friends for a drop in lunch and get to together and you had a sister who owned a deli where would you get your party platters and meat and cheese for buns from? 

I thought the answer would be obvious .... in my family the answer is order sliced meat from else where and push for pre made party trays from costco.  

I have no words 

I just needed to get rid of this 

best like ever 

Not even your mom likes you +770 points!

for those that were on my business FB page and saying they wanted to have an order shipped of the Christmas stock posted (cant remember who all did) now is the time to figure out what you wanted and message me there. I can still ship later but the majority seemed to want the advent house and if I dont ship them out shortly you wont have them for Dec . 

that is all

me

wanders back to work

fing figures.... when the alarm goes off and there is an actual break in at my store the police never attend at the request of the alarm company and only show up after I call them. Tonight its a false alarm there are 4 of them there when I come screaming up in my car. Gawd I wish I had thrown on a bra when I leapt out of bed grabbed a flimsly shirt and tights and went  bombing out the door. 

blank stare 

A customer spent a considerable amount of time ranting to me about Target coming to our town. She carried on and on about how we were making America rich and how ridiculous it was to accept these American companies into Canada we should keep the money in Canada and  Canada was being damaged. She poo pooed me when I said well it will fuel our local economy giving jobs to the people and they have to carry a large percentage of Canadian made products. 

this is what happened after her rant about giving money to America 

ME: *handing her a  price list* just wanted to  let you know we dramatically lowered our cheese prices 

Her: OHHHH no ... I go across the border to get my cheese milk and gas its way cheaper 

she is lucky I did not punch her out really