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I8Brainiac's blog: "Stolen Jokes"

created on 06/12/2007  |  http://fubar.com/stolen-jokes/b91131
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their “tourist” garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery, when a “drop dead gorgeous” blonde in a topless bikini came walking straight towards them. Her beauty took their breath away. They couldn’t help but stare. As the blonde passed them she smiled and said: “Good Morning, Father ~ Good Morning, Father,” nodding and addressing each of them individually, then, she passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them! Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different colored topless bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, said: “Good morning, Father ~ Good morning, Father,” and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn’t stand it any longer and said, “Just a minute, young lady.” “Yes, Father?” “We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?” She replied, “Father, it’s me, Sister Kathleen.”

Fishing

First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: That's nothing; I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realize that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?" Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or sex?" and she said, "Wear sun-block."
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