Tomcat's blog: "Stardust - tomcats blog"

I have this tumor on my neck and need a operation asap before I choke to death - I already have nearly lost use of my voice.

The surgen wanted the primary doc to do a test on my heart because 20 years ago I went to a heart doctor who told me that I had survived a major heart attack and was one of the lucky 10 percent to  do so. Half my heart does not work and is concidered dead and cannot be repaired via medical surgery.

To get tumor removed I must get approval and my primary doc said no surgen would operate on me because the ekg tests show that my heart is not pumping blood smoothy.  She arranged an appointment for me to go see a heart doctor (again) for more testing. 

Meanwhile the clock is ticking.   The testing alone delay things for perhaps another month.  Without the operation to remove or drain the tumor ( aka mass ) on my neck is needed also to get the contents tested to see if I do or not not have cancer. 

I have survied about 25 years with this heart condition without the use of expensive prescription drugs which I cannot afford to buy anyway. In stead of drugs I emoployed the use of olive oil and oatmeal products,  and I quit working to avoid stress. 

So soon I will find out if I can get operation or not from heart doctor but is seems unlikely and I cannot afford to get more heart surgery because my govenmental insurance does not cover enough of the charges for such. 

So I am between a rock and a hard place.   

My paycheck comes on hump day but my electric bill was due last friday and so I am hoping they do not turn off power today - if so I will loose internet connection and this would be my last blog until we can restore that service, and extra charges for gettng turned back on. Which would be near the first of the month perhaps. 

So I need a miricle to happen - this is going to take a lot of belief on my part so wish me luck in that.

 

 

 

On March 30th, 2009 Molly the cat gave birth to 5 more kittens.  Three orange ones and two that are mixed black and white in color.

Molly is not really my cat but just wandered over to our house after we moved in.  This is the 3rd litter of kittens she gave birth to on my property.    This time she found a safe place for her new group of kittens inside my computer desk. 

Her kittens (plus my own cats) have become the theme for my homepage here as you tell and the kittens have more fans then I do.  Took photos of new kittens but cannot add photos until my VIP is restored.  

 

 

At some point in the prehistory humanity was implanted with three motivations. Three desires that have become a driving force for our historical progress. 1. the desire to fly. 2. the desire to know as much as we can about everything. 3. the desire to overcome death and related health problems - the serach for eternal life. Even if some people do not have those as their personal goals the whole of humanity is none-the-less caught up in that momentum and has taken those projects on as our collect purpose, over countless ages of time. Flying like a bird is translated into the quest to be free and liberated, or in some cases to "get high", and has been manifested over time into our technology - airplanes and the space program. Our collective desire to know evreything has resulted in religions, science, philosophy, and systems of education. The desire for eternal life and for eternal youth has resulted in the evolution of our imagination and has generated much speculation about our post-historical status. And this has manifested in a number of ways such as medical research and and ways for girls to appear young with "make-up" -etc. It has motivated us to become creative in our art, music, and our spiritual expressions in words and/or as a religious goal, setting forth concepts of rewards and punishments. All around the globe via many different kinds of cultures the whole of humanity is motivated to pursue those objectives ... at least I think so... whatcha think?

Things can happen in the strangest of ways... some of you know about what people call a near death experience... that is when you offically die but a medic restores you right away, some people recall a vision during that time about a tunnel of light -etc. The vision is so realistic it can often transform their whole life from that moment on. Many visions happen during such circumstances, often called revelations or enlightenment. Black Elk ( native American ) had his vision when he was very sick and in a fever, he kept it a secret but finally told the tribal medicene man and was told that his vision qualifed him to become a holy man of the tribe (aka medicene man) and many years later his stories became the foundation for some of the beliefs held by Native Americans in this generation. Fasting for many days can also bring one close to near death and generate a vision, much like the one Jesus experienced when fasting in the isolated desert. In some kinds of meditation when you become very still and the body feels like it is floating you can experience a profound vision, and experience the light, because the physical body is slowed down to nearly no activity simular that is close to being death. Until re-booted by the vision. Of course we can crash the gates with drugs, which likewise can shift our consciousness giving us a profound vision, as we close in on death with those chemicals ( don't o d ). It is odd that we can get high so to speak when we reach rock bottom. But we have an inner system that seems designed for that purpose, which science has proven by shocking the pleasure part of the brain electronically. We can always tell a vision form a normal dream because they are way more realistic in nature then just thoughts bubbling to the surface of the mind that were depressed while we were awake. Such visions can happen when the body is sedated emotionally or overcharged emotionally. Emotional energy has something to do with how our consciousness can shift to the point of alternative perception. Meditation is the safest method that I know of if I were to recomend one ... relative to a vision quest. I ideas and claims made in this blog are my own and are debatable, so they are just for concideration if one has the mind to do so. I am not an expert on anything. PS - up and down is a debatable term because the earth is a globe so we eather move outwardly or towards the center inwardly. ( in and out.. not up and down ).

We are beings of light, but that light is the energy within us so we do not often see it as light in that form. Our light is part of the illumination of the whole universe which is also light energy in many different aspects of manifestation. In Zen and other Eastern teachings they have pictures of what are called chakras of the body, that are representive of areas of importance in the body - aka energy points. It is thought by some that this energy can flow up the spine and produce a visionary encounter called enlightenment. The spine is the famous serpent or snake. In meditations they follow the flow of energy to the different areas of the body for lightworking purposes. As it rises from the base which is the energy of the sex drive, which energy is then re-directed or used for the results they hope for. (got picture of chakras in my album section). Now allow me to segway and compare this to something else (my personal insight that occured) and that is the the Bible as hisory has the same chakras ... the chakras of history in western belief systems. The first chackra of the Bible is in the story of Adam and Eve and so-called rules about how you should or should not have sex, then rules about what you should or should not eat, which is the chakra in the tummy area of our body. then we move up to the heart chakra represented the the teachings of Jesus and concepts about love and being kind to other humans. As we follow the biblical spine upwards we come to the neck chackra, in that area of the spine the messages sent thorugh the nerves are sorted and directed to different areas of the brain. I compare that to Paul and others who attempted to interpret Jesus and the other events that preceded him - a chackra of "interpretations" then took root in the brain which is the next chackra of the Zen body. Now the last chakra is just above the head of the body - the area of our higher conscousness where enlightenment happens for those who reach that stage of energy. Represent in the Bible by their Book of Revelations. The energy then flows back down the arms to the palms of the right and left hands. The hands represent what we do with that energy and the energy of the understanding and insights that were generated in that "moment of truth" which is called enlightenment, a vision or revelaton. (over look misspelled words - no edit on this blog) Through attitudes, motives, emotions, thinking, words, and behaviors we then become the light, the creative energy of the universe. Let the light shine (as they say). Putting compassion to action, or making music and art, wherever your inner most interests direct you, follow that dream. My the force of peace by with you. I could go on and on with this one topic alone... but will end here.

The expectations that something will happen in the year 2012 could cause people to find something to confirm their belief in that expectation. So it is my duty to state that I am talking about a "what if" potential. If nothing happens different then the norms then others would be disappointed and perhaps depressed. Many of those who held great hopes of change in the 60s or during the 80s just got burned out because each advance forward got trampled upon by another war or whatever. However even those failed attempts set the foundations for more to come and we are progressing and expanding the mission. Also I wanted to mention that this blog will seem to jump around until all the bits can be put together to complete the puzzle. Not sure what novelty might happen in 2012 to alter human destiny but lets look at some of the past events that had a lasting impact on our historical pathway through time. As outlined in another of my blogs the campfire was one of the first things to impact our history. Although we take such things for granted now-a-days. The next event I believe was an attempt to domesticate the gods and godesses. That might sound shocking and I do not mean to offend anyone with this insight that I came up with (which I cannot prove). A village of people depended on nature to supply them with food and other needs and they believed that the Great Spirit would reward or punish the village through what we now call "acts of God", a hurricane, a long dry spell, a volcano eruption, the ice age, or good weather that resulted in an abundance of food and other supplies. (and so forth). One thing they feared was the wild dogs but one day they learned to tame the dogs by offering to share food with the animals. The dogs became good friends with the humans and became useful for purposes like hunting, protection, etc. Give a dog a bone and you have a friend for life. So a Chief might of thought - perhaps we can make friends with Mother Nature if we make offerings to the Great Spirit. So people formed a new relationship with the powers and the glory so demonstrated by nature. It must of worked because the ritual continued for ages and ages and even now it is still done in some circles. Offering something back for what you have recieved became a new pattern in human behaviorism. If you partake of nuts form a tree then you plant some of them so that more trees can grow. The science of farming emerged. Humans have been able to domesticate much of nature however we remain at the mercy of nature even today, it would be wise to keep that in mind folks.... and even if evil spells live backwards and dog spells god backwards we should not get the idea we can con the Creator. Yet many still would like to have a domesticated God that would do their bidding and will, they would like to be the master of all things. Until they get a rude awakening. Anyway farming changed human histroy as well as our abilty to domesticate farm animals. In my next blog I will present my own story about that . Changes - the invention of clocks and calendars, the written word, the construction of large buidings and cities, the use of money, the atom bomb, the computer, etc. Jesus was a novelty that changed the direction of western history, buddha changed it in the east. To mention only two people. Darwin the his theory and the discovery of dinosaur fosils. One of the last important events was the return of women to their role as spiritual leaders, they wrote books, gave lectures, and generated a whole new influence on our philosophy about life and our relationships with others. ................ to be continued .............

My folder with 250s images in it will be re-sorted back into smaller albums in short order. Just too many pictures in just one folder for people to wade through who truely like to look at the pictures involved. Also I do not have the option to re-pay anyone who might cherry bomb my page with that expectation in mind. I would like to thank anyone who did bomb it while it exsisted.

The real reason that the date 2012 is earmarked is because at this time populations around the globe are starting to wake up and comprehend that changes are needed , the sooner the better. The crazy weather patterns resulting from global warming, the spread of nuclear weapons, wide spread stavation and economical problems, the spread of wars and of terrorsim, the coruption in poltical systems (too name a few in a long list) have made people willing to entertain more drastic changes to bring balance back to the world and their personal lives. Yes, change starts within you. Yes, you can find peace of mind and remain isolated in that space. Is that enough? All the bad things we see on the news - the pain and the sufferings, the trobles and the woes, these are labor pains because Mother Earth is about to give birth to a new historical era. You do not have to believe in it, you do not have to have faith in it, you do not have to join any organizations but you can help out if that is your direction. It is happening. Something is happening... .................... to be continued.............

The first thing that started the speculations about a 2012 end date was the Aztec/Myan calendar which was carved in stone by a somewhat advanced culture long before Spain and other people started using the name "America". Some thought the date had to do with the return of the legendary feathered sperpent which was also part human in the symbols illustrating such, who they thought was a leader of that culture who departed towards the east and vowed to return someday. A story simular to the ones we hear about Jesus in our Western belief systems. The serpent representing wisdom and the feathers representing flight - aka freedom. Or representing the feathered dove which is symbolic of a gentle nature - messinger of peace. Others simply speculated that the calendar represented the end of time or of an era of time ( historical age ). Then Terrence McKenna came up with the idea that the I Ching which is a book from China - otherwise called the "book of changes" could be used as a calendar. Just like the Mayflower discovered the earth is not flat he proposed that the I Ching is not flat and should be viewed as a multi-dimenstional model. He knew that he would have to confirm that in a way that would be acceptable by science. In the book "brief history of time" and simular follow-up books that were put forth by those who are into physics we speculated ( in theory ) that time and space is mult-dimensional. If you could move backwards in time to the Big Bang point of orgin you would pass beyond that point into other dimenstions because that force of energy would have created more then just our dimensional universe - but others in many directions from that point of expanding outwardly - like the peddles of a flower unfolding from a single seed. Thus this universe would have clones of it's self that are simular to what we can see with our limited observational methods. So McKenna created some computer software that would allow the user to determine future peaks in history based on graph waves that are repeated - like the graphs used at a hospital to keep track of the energy perks in our human body. (pulse) - or used in a lie detector machine. By projecting the year 2012 the graph became an un-eventful line suggesting a era of peace. No major "novelty" perks such as a big war or other events that are used to highlight our western history as important dates to take notice of. (hope this is not all too complex - but had to input this data in my blog). He likewise noted that the multi-dimensional aspects employed to comprehend this conformed to the altered states of consiousness discovered by shamans and mind pioneers with the use of mushrooms and other plant-based substances. So what does this all mean? In my next blog entry I will explore some possibles. Is 2012 the date when we move up into another dimension? Into some grand illusion? Into the manifestation of our visions and dreams that we have desired to download into reality? Stay tuned.... to be continued .....

Down with doomsday. You will not hear such thories from me. If humanity did not spend the last 30 some thousand years evolving our technology towards a postive outcome, then why even waste time talking about change. We are talking about a radical transformation however from our war like history of the past into a new era of peaceful co-exsistance. A earth where people are united to pursue a planet that has a healthy environment, abundance of food for the populations without us taking more of the green then we need for that purpose, a earth that is secure for people to walk around in without fearing their fellow humans. A world where religions, nationalities, race, or poltical goals do not build walls that seperate us and that destroy our spirit of unity that is bonded in the shared hopes and dreams of one and all. Now it is possible that this could occur without us people being much aware of it via a natural part of our historical momentum. Otherwise it would take something radical to change things into this here "mission impossible" agenda. Perhaps an event of a 3rd kind, which science has coinged the term "novelty wave" to discribe. A major discovery that rocks the world. UFO visitation and instructions. The rise of a new World Teacher. Or a rapid surge of technolgical advancement on many fronts. It is anyone's guess and so I am not here to make particular claims about the "how", leaving that open for those who like to speculate. ...... more to come - feel free to add any input you like ......