Jake from State Farm's blog: "Song Lyrics"

When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right

She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack

Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played 'em fast
And she played 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back

She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, and who knows what else?
She's got the jack, yeah, yeah
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack

She's got the jack, she's got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey
She's got the (Jack), she's got the (Jack)
She's got the (Jack), ooh can't you tell
She's got the (Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack)
(She's got the jack, she's got the Jack)
She's got the jack, she's got the Jack
She's got the jack, you never know!
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, and it hurts!
(She's got the jack)
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Aaaaaah!

Oooooh!
(Thank you, thank you, thank you people, thank you, thank you
I'm glad you like the show, yes, thank you very much folks.
Goodnight and God bless!)

w/ Chris Parnell and Seth Meyers

Chris: We're sitting here today with film star Natilalie Portman.

Natalie: Hello

Chris: So Natalie, tell us what a day in the life of Natalie Portman is like?

Natalie: Do you really want to know?

Chris: Please tell us.


Natalie (Rap)
I don't sleep motherf*cker off that Yak and the durbin'
Doin' 120 getting' head while I'm swerving


(Seth: Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick.)

Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick.
I'm bustin' dudes valves like gushers motherf*cker.
Pull up to NBC and smack the sh*t outta Jeff Zucker.

What you want Natalie? (To drink and fight!)
What you need Natalie? (To f*ck all night!)


Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane group
Put my foot down your throat til your sh*t's in my shoe.
Leave you screamin, pay for my dry-cleaning
F*ck your man it's my name that he's screamin?


Chris: I'm sorry Natalie, are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated?


Natalie: I never said that I was a role model


Chris: But, what about the kids that look up to you, do you have a message for them?


Natalie (Rap):
All the kids lookin up to me can suck my dick
It's Portman motherf*cker, drink til I'm sick
Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry
While I laugh, you die
And to all the dudes, you know I'm talking to you
(We love you Natalie!) I wanna f*ck you too!


(Hey!) It's for Portman!
(Hey!) It's for p*ssies!
I'll kill your f*ckin dog for fun, so don't push me


Chris: Well Natalie, I'm surprised, all this coming from a Harvard graduate?


Natalie: Well, there's a lot you may not know about me.


Chris: Really, such as?


Natalie (Bridge):
When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday
I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
I gotta def posse, you gotta lot of dudes
I sit right down on your face and take sh*t


Andy (Refrain):
Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch (Hell Yeah!)
And I'll always pay for your dry-cleaning
When my sh*t gets in your shoe (What!)
As for the drug use
Well I can't vouch for that
My dick is scared of you (Ooh)


Chris: Natalie, one final question, if you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood who would it?


Natalie: No more questions.


(What!)

The show is done
But you're still hangin around
You want some fun
But I'm on my way outta town

You know you wanna hit it
So why don't you just admit it

[Chorus]
You've got a crush on me
And it's easy to see
That you write about me in your diary
You've got a crush on me Never gonna go away

I talked to you
And you tried to play it cool
That's hard to do
When you're wiping off your drool

You know you wanna hit it
So why don't you just admit it

(Chorus)

Your're all alone
Your friends all left cause you were waiting for me
You call my phone
But you'll never get past my caller i.d.

You know you wanna hit it
So why don't you just admit it

(Chorus)

You've got a crush on me
( you've got a crush on me)
You've got a crush on me (3x)

Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
Hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new land,
To fight the horde, sing and cry: Valhalla, I am coming!

On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.

Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
How soft your fields so green, can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we calmed the tides of war. We are young overlords.

On we sweep with threshing oar, Our only goal will be the western shore.

So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing.

That's a good question
Why am I standing out here alone
I guess I don't know enough to come in from the rain
I was watching your window
From here below
I think I just might stay here all day
Cause I gotta do something

If I can't love you
I don't want to love you
If I can't hold you
I don't want to be thinking of you
And if you don't want me
I don't want to want you
And if you won't see me
I don't know what to do
But oh keep watching you
Until I see right through
Oh I keep watching you

You could throw me down a cigarette
I smoked my last one quite a while ago
No, I gave it to the man that swore he had no need
You know sometimes if I listen real close
I can hear the dark side of the moon
And there's always yesterday's Times if I care to read
And I gotta do something

If I can't love you
I don't want to love you
If I can't hold you
I don't want to be thinking of you
And if you don't want me
I don't want to want you
And if you won't see me
I don't know what to do
But oh keep watching you
Until I see right through
Oh I keep watching you

Sure I'm alright
No I'm not very cold
Every now and then I can feel the subway heat
So go on inside
I'll leave you alone
Anyway Bogart's on in the window down the street
And I gotta do something

If I can't love you
I don't want to love you
If I can't hold you
I don't want to be thinking of you
And if you don't want me
I don't want to want you
And if you won't see me
I don't know what to do
But oh keep watching you
Until I see right through
Oh I keep watching you

I can see that it won't be long
You grow cold when you keep holding on
You know you've changed
And your words they lie
That's something you can't deny

I call, you're not at home
You're home, but you're not alone
If you wanna leave
Then why don't you say
Your love has gone anyway

I know there's something going on
I know there's something going on
I know it won't be long
Won't be long before you're gone
There's something going on
There's something going on

I know a good thing
Must come to an end
But it's hard to take
Loosing a friend
I know what you think
And what's in your mind
So darling, why pretend

I know there's something going on
I know there's something going on
I know it won't be long
Won't be long before you're gone
There's something going on
There's something going on

[Instrumental Interlude]

I know there's something going on
I know there's something going on
I know it won't be long
Won't be long before you're gone
There's something going on
There's something going on
There's something going on
There's something going on

You got a reaction
You got a reaction, didn't you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid turned it blue

Something better than nothing
Something better than nothing, it's giving up
We all need to do something
Try to keep the truth from showing up

How dare you
How old are you now, anyway?
How dare you
How old are you now, anyway?

You're given a flower
But I guess there's just no pleasing you
Your lip tastes sour
But you think that it's just me teasing you

You got a reaction
You got a reaction, didn't you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid turned it blue

Get behind me
Get behind me now, anyway
Get behind me
Get behind me now, anyway

You got a reaction
You got a reaction, didn't you?
You took a white orchid
You took a white orchid turned it blue

So you think that it's
over Say your love has
finally reached the
end
Anytime you call Night
or day I'll be right
there for you
If you need a friend Yeah
It's gonna take a little time
Time is sure to mend
your broken heart
Don't you even worry
Pretty darlin'
I know you'll find love again

Yeah
Love is all around you
Love is knocking outside the
door
Waitin' for you Is
this love made just
for two
Keep an open heart and
you'll find love again
I know
Love is all around you yeah
Love is knocking outside the
door
Waitin' for you Is
this love made just
for two
Keep an open heart and
you'll find love again
I know

jump around..........

Love will find a way
Darlin' Love is gonna find a way
Find it's way back to you
Love will find a way
So look around
Open your eyes
Love is gonna find a way
Love is gonna
Love is gonna find a way
Love will find a way
Love's gonna find a way
Back to you Yeah
I know
I know
I know
I know