Look at me, at my picture, or any of the few I have of me... what do you see? I'll let you keep to your thoughts on that.
I see someone wishing he had his childhood back so he could keep smiling that much all the time. A friend got me thinking about fall, and the cool, crisp mornings before walking across the dew-covered fields on my way to the bus stop. I remember the excitement of going back to school, back to the only thing I was ever responsible for. If I could be stuck in time, that's where I'd be. I wouldn't have to deal with the fuss of long-term relationships (the kind I had before I got married); there would be no balancing act of human resources and client relationships at work; and finally, I would be content with a six-hour work day.
When I look at my picture, I see the times I've been taken advantage of. A number of years passed when I was rolled in-and-out of a bed by girls having nothing but the popularity contest in mind, having pointless conversations that led to my distrust and disdain of the women around me. I became a reclusive individual with no more thought for excitement, and a focus on my training and schooling. There were no smiles for a time of two, maybe three years. My love for passion and intrigue in relationships was replaced by the bitter desire to see the reaction of someone turned away by my heavy-handed words. "He's such an asshole." ... seemed fitting.
My friend talked me out of my state. We took a road trip for business and it turned into no-strings-attached pleasure. I'll never forget it for as long as I live. We hardly ever manage to catch up with each other, but maybe that's a good thing. We each have a good life, and I suppose I should have to thank her for drawing me back into the world of women. That smile came back to my face, and before I'd even met her, as far as my wife is concerned, it was always there.
I try to keep the smile there. I'm always looking at things to make my love-life wholesome and fulfilling. My writing helps me to unload any deep thoughts that have been tied in my head for too long. It all comes back to my desire for that feeling I get from women. My wife knows that it's something she's attracted to because it all comes back to her, so she relishes the notion that I'll have something new for her all the time. I just love women! They're my inspiriation and the creative muse for an excellent sexually fulfilling life.
Yeah, with some help, that smile should be there for a while. Come to think of it, I should add more pics soon.
Oh yeah, um, thanks for reading!
