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Echo Angel's blog: "Signs of Sex!!!"

created on 09/22/2006  |  http://fubar.com/signs-of-sex/b5206
What the signs are like in BED! AQUARIUS Jan 21 - Feb 19 Ruling Planet: URANUS. The God of unexpected sexual twists and turns Aquarians make much better friends than lovers, but when a typical Aquarian gets some bang-bang, it's more an intellectual experience than an emotional one. Looks aren't important to Aquarians in a relationship, it's the mind and spirit of a lover that turns Aquarius on.They are very entertaining in bed and are probably the most inventive of all the signs.Mental stimulation is more important to them than physical, which means that pornography gets them hot! Aquarians are impatient and like sex to be fast and satisfying. They are very particular about hygiene and contraception and sleeping around holds little interest for them. FAVE POSITION Mutual masturbation. BEST SEX TOY A Dildo. Whether gay, straight, male or female, Aquarians will have some fun with this. AQUARIUS MALE IN BED He has amazing staying power in the sack. He can keep at it and control himself for as long as it takes for YOU to finish! He's up for anything too. Role playing, S&M, posing nude in the backyard at 5am! he's just not into 3somes, swinging or open relationships if YOU are involved. He'll do that for fun, but not with the love of his life. AQUARIUS FEMALE IN BED She's looking for a lover who will be upfront with her, but until she finds him, she will make do with whoever is available. LOVE freaks her out. She likes keeping her emotions under tight control and may come across as cold, but she's just protecting herself. THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON AQUARIUS Lie down as if you are top and tailing and gently tickle and stroke the ankles and the calves. Don't tickle for giggles, but tease. After awhile, do the same with your tongue. Lick up, down and all around. Anywhere above the foot and below the knee is fair game. Lightly nip the ankle of your Aquarian, they may laugh, but it's not laughter from tickles, it's a release of tension that will most definitely lead to some action! PISCES Feb 20 - March 20 Ruling Planet: NEPTUNE The God in charge of delicious dreams, dangerous deceptions and sexual fantasies Sexually speaking, Pisces is putty in your hands. Anything you want, anything, is only a question away. If you're looking for someone who will go the extra mile to discover all your secret moan zones, then Pisces is for you! When a typical Piscean makes out, it's an act of romance rather than pure pleasure. Pisces is the sign of love itself. They are so romantic and want satin sheets and candles, poetry and a full moon. Music also gets them in the mood. One of their least appetizing traits is their ability to become very, very jealous. Sometimes they are so scared of losing the fairy-tale romance that they ruin the happy! ending themselves. FAVE POSITION Pisces is all about Oral affections! BEST SEX TOY A copy of the Kama Sutra, since your fish is into almost anything PISCES MALE IN BED He is romantic and has the reputation of being a womanizer. The girlfriend of a Piscean man should keep her eye on the ball as he can be a bit flighty.But he does make an excellent lover. He's from the old school that sex should be an almost out of body experience, and if he's showering his attentions on you, you're in for a hell of a good ride! PISCES FEMALE IN BED She needs romance. It's the very air that she breathes. She needs to be held gently and whispered sweet not! hings to but when it comes to between the sheets action, she's never happy doing the same ol', same ol' when she knows there are more exciting options at hand. THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON PISCES The Pisces Zesty-zone is their feet! If you want to make Pisces your Love Slave, start with a warm, scented footbath and soak their feet for 10 minutes. Then sit in front of them, cross-legged, and rub their feet firmly through the water. Use kneading motions that run from their ankles to the tips of their toes. After 5 minutes, get a scrub brush and clean their tootsies with lots of TLC, dry them off and lightly massage peppermint oil all over their feet, paying close attention to between their toes. Pisces REALLY gets off on this! Once oiled up, gently kiss each toe, one by one. Then let your tongue take over and you're in baby!!! ARIES March 21-April 20 Ruling Planet: MARS The bonk now/think later God of War, aggression and action! Sexually, Aries is an explosion waiting to happen! The excitement is often in the chase more than the actual conquest though and while they may appear to want to dominate, they do not want a submissive partner. Routine brings boredom to sex for Aries, so if you're only comfortable with the missionary position, go for another sign, but if you like forceful personalities and enjoy pretending you're a human Twistie, then you've found paradise with an Aries. FAVE POSITION Always on top and always in charge BEST SEX TOY Handcuffs! Like I said, Aries likes to take charge! ARIES MALE IN BED The Aries male is loud, domineering and 100% stud! He's from the bump n grind school of lovemaking so if you're looking for romantic dinners by candlelight and long walks on the beach, keep looking! He's the original 5-minute man so if you're turned on by ultra-macho grunt-and-groaning types, you've just found your ticket to heaven! He's not prone to cheat unless you bore him in bed and he likes sex fast and furious baby! ARIES FEMALE IN BED She views sex as more of a physical act than something from a soppy romance novel. If you're a bored exec and want to find out what it's like to be treated like a piece of meat, then go for a one night stand with an Aries chick. She'll be gone before you wake up and may not remember your namethe next time you meet. She's got a touch of KINK to her personality so don't get freaked out when she talks dirty or puts you over her knee for a spanking. She's all woman, but are you man enough to handle her? THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON ARIES If you want to seduce an Aries, running your fingers through their hair is an awesome starting point! And licking and nibbling around their face or neck will get them going ! too! Just be careful to keep your saliva at bay. Drool is not cool! TAURUS April 21 - May 21 Ruling Planet: VENUS The Goddess in charge of love, beauty and sex Taureans are ahead of the game when it comes to love coz they are ruled by VENUS, the planet of Love! Taurus has all the qualities a lover desires, including sensuality, loyalty and faithfulness.When a typical Taurus makes love, it's the most physical and natural pleasure in the world. They believe the romantic approach to sex almost always pays off so they will happily cook dinner, buy flowers, and light candles for someone they wanna bang. They don't like to rush things and take everything, including sex, slowly. FAVE POSITION The one Taurus enjoys most is the Missionary. Some may say this is so unadventurous, but Taurus is very practical and this is the most comfortable. BEST SEX TOY A battery powered "erotic massager" TAURUS MALE IN BED The Taurean man needs a woman who will want to stay home to eat and make love. He can be stubborn and is known to sulk like a little boy, but he LOVES making up!! (Rrrrow!) He likes to take things slow and gently and can last for hours, always waiting for HER to finish before rolling over to sleep. TAURUS FEMALE IN BED She is great at back massages and sex in general. She makes an art of lovemaking.Just kissing her can bring some men to the big "O". Her touch is gentle and tender, it excites and caresses and when in the mood, she too can go for hours at a time, days on end. THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON TAURUS There's nothing Taurus enjoys more than having their neck kissed and their earlobes nibbled. Light, feathery caresses up and down the neck followed by gentle licks, no biting, will make a female writhe with delight and a male stand at attention within seconds. GEMINI May 22 - June 21 Ruling Planet: MERCURY The swiftest God in the skies, who also happens to be in charge of ultr-extreme raunchy talk Talking about sex is Gemini's favourite hobby and doing it comes a close second.Gemini's love flirting and lap up attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes that's all they're looking for.They need a lot of variety when it comes to sex - dirty weekends away, a quickie in a shop doorway, serious groping under the table at a fancy restaurant. A lot of Gemini's are bisexual too and can often be drawn to those of the same sex. FAVE POSITION As long as it's different every time, they're not fussy, but if they must choose, it's that naughty number right after 68, since they can come up for air if they need to. BEST SEX TOY Any illustrated book about kinky sex, so Gemini can pick up some wild, new ideas GEMINI MALE IN BED He likes to give AND receive and can be quite inventive. He's a lights on, in front of the mirror kinda guy and if you make a few subtle noises and talk a wee bit dirty, he'll be very happy. GEMINI FEMALE IN BED She is more interested in IQ than private parts. If she can't respect the intellect, then satisfaction is not possiblefor her. She may sleep around forever and never find her true love and she is not the most faithful of the signs. She likes sex on the run, in an airplane toilet, in the storeroom at work, in the backseat of a car…. THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON GEMINI Focus on the shoulders, arms and legs of a Gemini and you're headed for the good books. They love a good massage and their hands are so sensitive that even having their fingernails played with sends shivers up their spine! Kiss up and down each of your Gemini's arms, sneak in a few licks, nips and nibbles. If you get one or two yelps, then you know you're doing something right.then, move onto the fingers, slowly kiss, lick, nip and nibble each fingertip, then pull out the killer move - suck on each finger, slowly, as if it's a lollipop. I'll almost offer a money back guarantee on this one working! CANCER June 22 - July 23 Ruling Planet: THE MOON Which isn't a planet at all but the satellite responsible for this water sign's many mood swings! Love and sex go together for Cancer. They need to feel secure in love before they can relax in sex and Cancer often feels a little bit guilty after doing the deed because they usually associate sex with babies, especially the women, who either get pregnant at the drop of a hat or take longer than usual. All Cancers WANT to be parents!Cancers become sexually excited when they fe! el secure. They are turned on by home cooked meals and partners who love kids. In so many ways, Cancer is the dream partner! FAVE POSITION Any position that's comfortable and involves Cancer lying flat on their back with all their sensitive areas exposed! BEST SEX TOY A drink or joint that will relax the overly-cautious crab! CANCER MALE IN BED He is a sensitive lover and will put his partner's needs before his own. He has a tenderness about him that drives women wild! If the Cancer guy decides he's in it for the long haul, he'll do whatever it takes to keep his lover happy in and out of the bedroom. Oh, and he's a BREAST man!! CANCER FEMALE IN BED She oozes sexiness and is born to mate!! Compliments and kissing will win her over, so as you're nibbling on her ear, whisper "you're so beautiful" to get her quivering. Perhaps the Vincent (Big Brother) growl would work on a Cancer woman? THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CANCER Concentrate on the breasts and pecs of Cancer to really get them going.Start by kissing and brushing up against them. Licking the Cancer female's nipple through her top will excite her, but don't 'dive right in' coz you're likely to scare her.It's the complete opposite for the Cancer male who will LOVE it if you get straight to the point. Squeeze his pecs and bite his bod and you'll have him bouncing off the walls in no time! LEO July 24 - August 23 Ruling Planet: THE SUN Which isn't a planet at all, but a star, and just like Leo's opinion of themselves, it's the centre of our solar system! Leos can be very 'into themselves' when they bonk. It's not that they don't make their partner feel special, it's just that they often forget about them as they secretlyhigh-five themselves for scoring again! Leo does actually want more from a partner than just sex though. Leo wants love and friendship too. They can be very romantic, but when they get into bed, it's not an experience they're about to have, it's a show! They like to perform ... and they take requests! "Doing it" is the ultimate stress buster for Leo and they are pretty damn good at it, but they need constant praise for their outstanding performance. FAVE POSITION Receiving 'oral affections', since Leo is all about getting serviced! BEST SEX TOY A camera, or a game of Strip Poker will get the cat purring or perhaps you can use them both together! LEO MALE IN BED You are the King of the Jungle and expect to be treated that way! You are a good lover because you don't like to fail at anything. You are sexy and have an aura of sexiness that is difficult to deny. But, you will let anyone adore you, so your partner has to make the effort or you will pad off to your next Lioness!! LEO FEMALE IN BED You are elegant and sexy without even trying. Men love you and women want to be you. You like to play cat and mouse with men and command respect. In bed, you are a real panther and can scare the pants off most men. You adore raw sex, so your partner should go with you and enjoy it. You're a once in a lifetime experience! THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON LEO A Leo's 'moan zone' is his or her back. First of all, ask your Leo to roll onto his/her tummy. Start with a gentle scratch that runs from the top of the ass to the base of the skull. I'm not talking about tender tickles or a tantalizing tease - I mean a REAL back scratch, coz if there's one thing cats love, it's a scratch! After a minute or so, get out the massage oil and spill it into a snakey pattern on Leo's back. Then rub all over. Keep doing this until you know Leo is ready to roll over. If they start falling asleep, give them a gentle prod in a delicate place! Once Leo is ready to roll over, don't let them! Leo will be excited by your control. YOU decide when it's time to 'flip your feline' over and get into the good stuff! VIRGO August 24 - September 23 Ruling Planet: Mercury The God in charge of intellect and speed but don't worry because Virgo likes to take their time in the sack!! Virgos have two sides to their personality. The Virgin and the Vixen. They may want you to THINK they are all sweet and virginal, but they are definitely NOT! However, Virgos are looking for a long term partner, not a one night stand or an affair! They tend to seduce with finesse, charm and sublety so you may not even realize you're being lured by a Virgo!! Once Virgo has been in a relationship for awhile, they get engrossed in housework and things like that, which can cause a serious dip in libido. Do NOT let this happen! They are definitely more of a "can we cuddle instead" sign that a 'let's get it on!' one when committed. FAVE POSITION Almost anything, as long as it involves eye contact! BEST SEX TOY It's more of a game. Write down five wild sex acts and put them in a bowl. Get Virgo to pick one out at random, and then do what you're told!! Virgo LOVES spontaneous sexuality! VIRGO MALE IN BED You can be quite boring at times because you have set views on how a woman should be. You don't mean to criticize or offend, but your perfectionist ways may drive your lover loopy! You DO have some kinky ideas though, but it is difficult to get to the bottom of your passion! You are a creature of habit, so if your lover can get you into the habit of sleeping with her, who knows what might happen? VIRGO FEMALE IN BED You are hardworking and careful about your appearance, but you really do fantasize about getting down and dirty! You are a secret romantic and crave the perfect lover. Since the perfect lover doesn't exist, you'll take what you can get! You are quite insecure and need a partner who will adore you. You have strong passion beneath that practical exterior and are just waiting for someone to unearth it! THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON VIRGO Virgo's have a VERY sexually sensitive tummy!! If you wanna make them putty in your hands, stroke, lick and kiss their stomach!! The area from the bellybutton DOWN! Once you have them squirming, you can have anything you want!! Just remember to keep one hand on their tummy at all times!! LIBRA September 24 - October 23 Ruling Planet: Venus - The planet in charge of beauty, love peace, and stirring sensuality Libra is one of the sexi! est signs in the zodiac, but if Libra can't get what they want from one lover, they will opt for two! They are notorious for having double standards in that situation too. They'll look you in the eye and say "never cheat on me, coz I would never do it to you", even when they have a hot night of passion planned with someone else! Librans are more turned on 'giving' than 'receiving'. They have a big heart and are the least selfish sign of the Zodiac. Libras are not very open about their thoughts or fantasies. They'd rather say nothing than tell the truth and offend or embarrass you. In bed, it takes a while for them to be comfortable enough to tell you exactly what they want. FAVE POSITION As long as they are lying down, they're happy! BEST SEX TOY K.Y. Jelly. I will say no more! LIBRA MALE IN BED The Libra man sees sex as an exciting adventure and he'd be very keen to do it in kinky places like a restaurant toilet! He likes being a bad boy if ! there's a chance he might get caught. He'll try out any fantasy you have, but whether or not you can keep a tight hold on his heart remains to be seen. However, he can be a bit of a pushover, and is perfect husband material, and he'd prefer his lover to take the lead. He is romantic and considerate but may suffer from Premature Ejaculation! LIBRA FEMALE IN BED The only thing that separates Libra men and women is what's between their legs!Libra girl wants a strong man who understands that she needs her individuality and freedom. She is turned off by burping, farting, and bad breath. Good personal hygiene is crucial if you want to get to 2nd base.Librans are very good at lying to get their own way. When your Libra girl groans in bed, look into her eyes to make sure she's not 'faking it'. THE BEST WA! Y TO TURN ON LIBRA Libra's Love Zone is their lower back and butt, so please, squeeze and pat your Libra's butt whenever you get a chance. When you're kissing, reach under his or her top and stroke the lower part of their back, starting in the middle and working your way down to their butt. Take your time and be gentle! To really drive your Libra wild? Have you ever heard of the term 'Rimming'???Does it surprise you that a high percentage of Libras are gay? SCORPIO October 24 - November 22 Ruling Planet: PLUTO, The Roman God of the dead, beginnings and endings. Which basically means that Scorpios add novel differences to any relationship. Scorpios are very possessive. They will tense up if you even LOOK at another hottie across the room. But they can be relied on to always be there for you if you need them. You may never really know what your Scorpio is thinking though, because to them, Knowledge is power and they are very good at putting on a straight face to cover up any emotion they are feeling. Scorpios love sex. The dirtier, the better. Get them excited by revealing your filthiest fantasy and offering to act it out. FAVE POSITION: Anything, as long as it involves dominating your ass. BEST SEX TOY: Ben Wah Balls for the girls, and a Riding Crop for the boys SCORPIO MALE IN BED His sexuality is so strong, it will make you dizzy!! If you are lucky enough to be with a Scorpio boy,you will always be satisfied!! There's a rumour that the Scorpio man is the most skilled in bed. It's as true as a black man has a giant wang!!! Most are pretty good!! The only thing you don't wanna do is piss him off. Every little thing you do that he doesn't like, he will file away in his little mental rolodex. Piss him off one too many times, and he will wreak his revenge!!! SCORPIO FEMALE IN BED She may look like a quiet, shy girl, but in bed she is NOT! She is a wildly passionate woman, who is DYNAMO is the bedroom. Just don't piss her off either, coz she can more vengeful than a Scorpio man, and she has no problem causing a scene! Don't talk about other women, or play hard to get, because she will get you back, and it's a game of one-upmanship you will never win. THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SCORPIO Since this is one of the horniest signs, it makes sense that their moan zone is between their legs! Then again, their big head (or their mind) is just as easy to turn on. Talking dirty and teasing your Scorpio will get them ready and randy in a flash!! Without getting too graphic, the magic words for today are RUB, RUB, RUB. SAGITTARIUS November 23 - December 22 Ruling Planet: JUPITER, God of money, luck and good times between the sheets. Sagos are playful, laid back and oh-so fun to party with. They are wild, and may be the BADDEST party people you ever meet! One thing to be wary of is that Sagos like to talk BULLSHIT! Don't believe everything they tell you because they are kings at 'talking it up'. Sagos probably make better friends than lovers, but if you happen to score a one-nighter with them, be prepared to do stuff you've NEVER done before! Sagos are spontaneous and adventurous and most have probably been caught doing it somewhere public. When they find the right lover, they will give it 100% as long as the commitment is returned. FAVE POSITION: They are up for anything. Quality AND Quantity. BEST SEX TOY: Handwrite a sexual fantasy of yours and leave it on their pillow. You'll be surprised at what happens next! SAGITTARIAN MALE IN BED Even if he's fat, balding and middle aged, he can still pull the chicks. It's his love and pursuit of happiness that draws the babes to him. Think "Austin Powers"! baby, yeah! He is a wee bit selfish though, so be prepared for an "all about me" attitude in the sack. He LOVES doing it, and if you start holding out on him, he's likely to get it somewhere else. He will either amaze his partner with his sexual expertise or be absolute trash in bed! SAGITTARIAN FEMALE IN BED The Sago woman is a handful! She changes her mind more often than she shaves her armpits, is blunt, oversensitive and takes offense at the strangest things. She's adventurous in the bedroom and also has no problems cheating if her needs are not fulfilled. But can you handle her open-minded sexuality? She will hide her emotions from you, but don't make the mistake of hiding yours from her. She's looking for someone she can trust 100%, but is quite hypocritical since she can be very untrustworthy herself. THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON SAGITTARIUS Hips and thighs are extremely sensual for a Sago, so concentrate on massaging and stroking that area and the place in between! Don't be afraid to ask your Sago if you're doing it right coz they would LOVE to tell you! The best way to get them going is to grope their inner thigh in a public place! CAPRICORN December 23 - January 20 Ruling Planet: SATURN - The God who oversees time, discipline and dedication, which means Capricorn! can go the distance - with major staying power - in bed and beyond!! Capricorns are very good at hiding their emotions, so it's often hard to tell when they are truly, deeply in love. If you have a load of cash, you can almost bet on admiration from a Capricorn because the goat is turned on by money. Like I said before, Capricorn has great sexual stamina and the ability to go all night if they want to! FAVE POSITION: Spooning! Goat boys and girls love to take, or be taken from behind. BEST SEX TOY: An office desk to "bond" on, or an erotic video will loosen up the randy goat. CAPRICORN MALE IN BED Imagination isn't a strong suit for Capricorn so! don't expect acrobatics in the sack. Sex with him could possibly be as boring as watching paint dry and he tends to be a little bit selfish in that area too. BUT you can definitely count on him to be faithful if he has committed to you. CAPRICORN FEMALE IN BED She is strong and confident and likes to run the show! She's a tough nut to crack but once inside her shell, she's as sweet as caramel. Her fave position may be missionary, but she seeks excitement in new locations, so experiment with different venues to keep it interesting. THE BEST WAY TO TURN ON CAPRICORN Capricorns are the most anal signs of the zodiac, so buttering them up will take a bit of effort. Believe it or not, their erotic area is the knees! Lightly stroke their legs, paying close attention to the knee region. Licking, kissing, and nibbling the area will get them squirming
I was recently sent some interesting facts as well as researched some, that gave me a good laugh. So, I thought I would combine them on here to give all that reads this a good chuckle and some pointless knowlege. If you know me at all, then you know I am full of useless information. LOL!!!! Start with the state facts that I have found unusual and I am guessing most of us should be in jail for: Oral Sex- against the law in KY, IN, VA, AK Anal Sex- OH, VA Toys- no more than 2 in AZ, and 6 in TX (I would be so up a creek!!!!!!!!) Can you believe that they have made laws about what you are allowed to do behind closed doors!!!! The state that tops it all is Virginia. It is illegal to have sex with the lights on, and in no more than the missionary position, and no oral or anal. Talk about BORING!!! The motto is Virginia is for lovers?????? BORING LOVERS!!!!!! Ok now on with useless information: Orchids are named from the Greek word for Testicles (orchis) because of their resemblance of their bulbs to a man's testes. We are born with 350 bones and die with 206 The average speed of a man's orgasm is 28 mph-you can poke your eye out with that thing The average ball point pen can write a line 2 miles long Banging your head against the wall uses 150 calories an hour ( don't try at home, work would be better) The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plamasma No piece of paper can be folded in half more that seven times Donkeys kill more people annually than plain crashes You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television ( I need to sleep alot more) A passionate kiss burns 150 calories (beats banging your head against the wall) Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years old The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache America Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by elimating one olive from each salad served in first-class Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise Apples, not caffeine, are more efficent at waking you up in the morning Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin The first owner of Marlboro Company died of lung cancer If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat up one cup of coffee (that's why we have coffee makers) If you farted cosistently for 6 years and 9 months you will have produced enough energy to create an atomic bomb (WOW!!) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet Walt Disney was afraid of mice Pearls melts in vinegar Dentists have recommended that your toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a toilet, to avoid airboren particles resulting from the flush. ( I am now keeping my toothbrush in the living room) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed poeple. (so, if you are ambidextrous, do you split the difference?) All polar bears are left handed (if they switch they will live longer) A dragonfly can fly backwards just as fast as it can forwards. The acid in vulture's stomach can dissolve a nail. A duck's quack does not echo Turtles can breathe through their butt A pig's orgasm last for 30 minutes ( i want to be a pig in my next life) A cockroach will live nine days without it's head before it starves to death!! (still want to be a pig) The catfish has over 27,000 tastebuds ( would you really want to taste the bottom of the pond) Some lions mate over 50 times a day (Still want to be a pig, QUALITY over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump (still not over the pig) An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain ( i know some people like that) Starfish have no brains ( i know more people like that) (HALF AN HOUR!!!!!!! can you imagine???) and lastly Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure ( i will need to teach my fellow pigs the new way of pleasure) So there you go.........a bunch of useless information that you may use to strike up a conversation with strangers ie: Did you know it's illegal to have oral sex in Kentucky?? If you survive the beating, remember to use the animal ones next time LOL If you know anymore useless information post it on here for me, can never have to much useless info!!!! I hope to hear from everyone sometime soon Take care and God bless!!!!!
Aries- LIVES for head massages. ANY part of their head: Lips, Eyelids, Eyes, Tongue, you name it! Aries also likes to fuck in public places during business hours. You need to be open minded with an Aries...If you don't feel like being duct taped to a wall and beaten with live ferrets: Tell Them. Be warned! IF you don't want to be kinky, don't be with an Aries. If you say 'No' too often to them you may lose them as a lover forever. Aries Idea of Heaven Is: Participating in live sex shows for money. Having their favorite human toy win first place in a pony boy/girl race. Fucking as an art form on display in a gallery. They secretly crave to be strippers or Annie Sprinkle. Aries LIVES to be jealous...they also like to coordinate other people fucking. Secretly desire to be fluffers. Aries owned a Violet Wand before it was popular. They are also Sadists. The best gift to give an Aries is designer colored nylon rope in their favorite color. They live to tease and torture...HEY...Somebody's gotta do it, right? They like hair pulling. Beware of their 'toy' collections. Don't tease them...they will rape you. They love pony boys and girls...I cannot emphasize this enough! They like it doggie style especially if they are steering. Give an Aries 100 feet of rope and a 250 dollar flogger, they will follow. As long as they get to be the one holding the handle. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) --Don't tease them. It will only piss them off. Taureans are realists. If you say that you are horny: Prepare to be fucked. Taureans are heavy indulgers, though. All forms of indulgence: Sex-drugs-wine-food...whatever their vice may be: they simply cannot get enough. They do not believe in moderation. They will fuck until they are sore. Taurus likes to have sex just for the sake of having sex. What they lack in originality, they make up for in stamina and endurance. Okay...so they may not be into bondage, okay? But they WILL lick you until you have at least three orgasms or until you pass out...whichever comes first. Taurus uses their tongue for EVERYthing...and I mean that. They love to lick people in whipped cream, alcohol, chocolate, flesh and candy???Bring it on! Caution: They are looking for a relationship so be kind to them. They also have a BIG wet thing for scent. Sometimes they don't want a lover to bathe before sex. Or you may find them shaggin in a garden or a greenhouse...to smell the dirt: After all, they are Earth signs. Gemini (May 21 - June 21) -- Ever heard the saying "Been there. Done that?" chances are it came from a Gemini. They are always changing...they are the eternal Chameleon. You never who you are fucking that day. They have had sex. A lot of sex. Probably because they are in a constant state of flux...always looking for the new high. The biggest turn on for a Gemini is: LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION. Here is just a smattering of places that I know Geminis have fucked: In the elevator of the moseleum of Forest Lawn Cemetary DURING A FUNERAL. Wine cellars in nightclubs. Vip Areas of Theatres. Public Parks. The 18th Hole of a private golf course. In the center of a race track just as the flag was going up. On various Gym equipment at numerous health spas. A football stadium during the SuperBowl. A Balcony railing at Mardis Gras in the French Quarter...just to name a few. If it's shiny...they will want it. They are big on DRAMA so be prepared for them to set the mood for sex no matter WHERE you might end up. They WILL take the initiative. They live off their charm. If they are male and gay they will still be the greatest fuck your female friend has ever had. Go figure. They are also Voyeurs but always willing to lend a hand ... or any other part of anatomy. If they are depressed, suck on their fingers, that always seems to cheer them up. Their goal is to fuck in the front row of the OSCARS when the cameras pans on them so that they can wave. Cancer (June 22 - July 22) -- 69 This is the sign that needs to be cuddled. They may believe that they were born in the wrong period or century. They DWELL in the past...Victorian...Roman...Medieval...You name it. They usually will only fuck at night...come to think of it...they fuck better at night anyway. Maybe its because they are ruled by the Moon. This is a sign that is looking for TRUE love...I mean REAL TRUE DEEP LOVE...that 'Romancing The Stone' Frikkin 'Wuthering Heights' kind of love. They probably cry at the end of any Jane Austen flick. They want to be swept off of their feet. They really do deserve it, too. They are constantly dumped on by previous past fucktard ex lovers that think they own them. Sometimes Cancers pick the wrong guy/girl and get beat up or emotionally hurt. Why? They think its what they deserve. Which is bullshit. They are wonderful people. They love water sports (jacuzzis/pools/showers/saunas/bathouses...) They want to be comfortable while fucking...oh sure the foreplay may have had you bent over a barstool...but when you get home they want comfy couches, beds, fluffy pillows, anything soft and fuzzy that is not a pet. Cancerians also have a horrible tendency to misplace their clothing. Highly Exhibitionistic. They live for Oral...as long as it tastes good. Karma Sutra honey dust is a good start...mints...ice cream..anything with sugar...fruit...Don't rush them they smolder. But when you get started, be ready for a long night. They like to play with ice cubes, too. Also nipples are a BIG thing for Crabs...they all secretly wish to get their nipples pierced. Can be submissive highly. Masturbation is where they get their bonus points at. Be warned: They like 'em YOUNG...so you better be ready to dress up like an Animation school boy/girl with a whip to keep 'em. haha... it's all true !! lol Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22)-- If we could put our pussy cat naked and jeweled in rubies on a dias in a museum...this would be their idea of heaven. Everyone admiring them: Hell, yeah! "WORSHIP ME." is their motto. If you fuck up just once with a Leo...That's IT. Don't be expecting them to take you back. They are not willing victims, after all, they CHOSE you...you screwed up? They can UN-Choose you just the same. They live for Menage a Trois...or Qua...or Cinco....anything in a group is okay as long as they are in the middle. Leos also like bubble baths. Once you start with a Leo...do not think you can just turn their emotions on or off like a switch...they demand satisfaction. NOW. All the stress in the world ends up in the Leo neck...They need neckrubs...they feel like they have the entire weight of the world on their head. If its kinky, a Leo has probably done it..You know Madonna's a LEO, right? She masters the Madonna/Whore/Goddess thing pretty well, huh? I wonder why? Could it be cause shes a fuckin' LEO? yep. Valmont was probably a Leo. They probably have the movie at home. Get out your furry gloves and faux mink whips for this kitten. they love soft floggers and there is a specific spot on their back right above their tailbone that is heaven to them where if touched right will actually make them purr...you think I'm bullshitting you? Try it, I dare ya. Leo likes to be on top...that's a given. They need control. Their underware is always..er..interesting to say the least. They LIVE for boudoir photography. They LOVE to be photographed. If they can afford a nude or semi nude photo of them..do it now. Leos are born and bred to be porn stars...even if they act prude about it..they have thought about it. They usually end up in vocations where they can be served like a king or queen (EX: 24/7 Domina...Mistresses...Gigalos...Bar owners...Promoters...Runway Models...) may have a fetish about decorating their genitalia...not piercings, per se...but other jeweled adornments definately. Rubies usually are their love. I knew one LEO with a solid silver Cockring embedded with rubies. Love to have their hair brushed and played with. You had better be vocal in bed with them...they want to hear how well they are doing. If a Leo has chosen YOU as a mate. Just accept it and enjoy the ride. Be prepared for anything. They have no problem tying you down. They ARE the naughty school teacher, the pirate captain, the gypsy king and Cleopatra all rolled into one. Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept. 22)-- This is the MOST confused sign on the planet. This sign is pretty realistic: No Frills. They love to fuck in showers not because it's kinky...but because of hygenic reasons...they are big into sanitary issues. Every Virgo I have ever met has issues...always going back to hygiene. They have to arrange time in their busy scheduals to have sex...But when a reservation is made...You had better be there on time, if not a little early. With flowers. And Clean. Virgos want to make their partner happy. That's it. USUALLY. You will always get a freaky Virgo, but not often. Even so, they will TRY to get YOU to cum. And if they can't make you cum, they will buy someone or something that will. Yes you read that right. The sign of the virgin believes in prostitution. Missionary is their big thing. I wish I could give Virgos more kink...but, that's about it. Except maybe try spanking them sometime and see what will happen. They LIVE to masturbate...whether its you rubbing them, them rubbing you...them rubbing against your fox fur coat...whatever! Some Virgos WANT to be punished. They will do naughty things to be caught so they can be punished. They are perfect for Aries who want to punish SOMEBODY. Anybody! Pretend rape scenes also turn on Virgos. As long as they know they are secretly safe. If you have ever seen the Carnival Rape scene in 'Henry & June' this is a Virgo wet dream. Also all Virgos like to see Camel Toes...what's up with that? Sherlock Holmes was probably a Virgo...or a repressed Gemini. Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23)-- Let the games begin! Libra will try anything once. Twice to make sure they liked it. Three times to be absolutely sure. Do not touch a Libra's head during oral sex...that may work with an Aries, but not here. Libras LOVE giving oral - They LOVE getting it , too. But don't feel like they get enough...too bad, because they sure as hell are getting enough of everything else. They will buy toys to make YOU use it on THEM. Libras are mental creatures that believe in living and fulfilling fantasies that they haven't done in real life...which is rare because they have done almost EVERYTHING. They have no problem sploshing. To them, sitting in a pie COULD be fun. Porn? Bring it on! Sex, video AND food? ALRIGHT! They are heavily exhibitionistic by accident. They are accident prone, they lose bras, underware, condoms....they also accidentally end up in bed with people. Amazing how THAT works! They like to cross dress. Both sexes do this quite well, actually. Male Librans are mistaken for women all the time, and Female Libras are mistaken for men every now and again too...its because they are under the goddess Aphrodite. They are never just ONE sex. They can always feel what the opposite sex feels. Which is why they are rarely clingy, except in rare circumstances when they have been led on, then watch the manipulative side of the scales swing. They love to role play and play dress up. They like to dress like hookers or Queen Elizabeth (This is the men, too!) Who are they really? It depends on what day of the week it is. They believe that life is too short to date ugly people in more ways than one. So if you are being shagged by a Libra, there is a good reason. Whether you are attractive physically, emotionally, mentally or have a fantastic sense of humor, there is always a reason for a Libra to be fucking you. But they HATE vulgarity. They despise feeling like they are on a waiting list to get your attention...worse yet, feeling like they are your groupie. That won't last long, then. They have already figured out HOW to destroy you...now they are biding their time to see how long until they throw YOU away...with nothing. But, if you get past all that, expect long luxurious nights talking and playing Strip Tarot or Naked Chess. They are the Graceful Slut...but not slutty and yet accident prone. If you are going to fuck a Libra: Get mirrors. Lots of them. They have more vanity issues than a Gemini. Nothing is TOO kinky for them. They are the eternal Courtesan or Concubine. They are sex therapists, porn writers who knows? Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21) -- HOLEE SHIT! here comes the masters and mistresses of FUCK! Sorry Leo, but Scorps ARE the leaders in the Kink O Rama factor (Hey Lions, you are the kings and queens of everything ELSE...let it go...OMMMMMMMM) Scorpios KNOW how to seduce. They KNOW what is kinky. They are highly manipulative. They KNOW how to get you to do what THEY want. They KNOW how to fuck. And they are making room for modifications. All they have to do is walk into a room and look at you, and you WILL be on your back assuming the position. One Scorpio I knew used to shackle her lover to her dining room table and serve food around his naked . body for dinner parties. She would put the Dip right between his legs and tell everyone to try some.This is just an idea of Scorpio kink. She would punish him later if things went...er...awry. Anne Rice (During her 'Beauty' phase) wants to be a Scorpio. Leos and Scorpios make for a fabulous tryst...but the emotions are staggering. Don't dare TRY to make a Scorpio jealous...they will duct tape you to a chair and make you watch them fuck your boss..or your sister/brother..or Mother...hell, that's their idea of a typical normal Thursday night. They love to use gag balls. They always have carpet burns on their knees and back...this is from their constant rutting like a wild weasel in heat. They are also very cunning and secretive. They LOVE pony girls and have a fetish for riding crops and bridles. Most Scorpios have mastered the Binaca Blowjob for heightened and elongated pleasure. I hope you can go the distance and can make them come...otherwise gods help ya. Favorite Song: Master and Servant. Most female Scorpios have a horrible tendency of being Alcohol Lesbians...get them drunk enough they will kiss a girl...or two....or three...or five....One Scorpio girl I knew got so toasty at a party once...she kissed EVERYONE in the entire house...there were at least sixty people there! All their clothes are easy access. And they can definately get their foot over their head. One Scorpio man I knew could blow himself. A definate good time...but beware their sting! Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21) -- Right out the chute I am going to tell you...THEY LOVE TO BE SHAVED. True love is being shaved. Sagittarius love is being shaved by someone they love. And they LOVE to travel. They are constantly moving. They are always packing and going somewhere. They are the outdoorsy type. Why fuck in a tent when you can be surrounded by Sequoias under a moonlit night and have sex? Sags will Fuck Everywhere! Most Sags flash body parts and are closet nudists. They will be the first to register for nude volleyball at the nudist resort. Don't get me wrong, they have a TON of provocative clothing at home, but they like to be naked. EVERYWHERE. They don't know why its against the law to drive naked in a convertable especially. It just doesn't seem right. Downright Anti-American to them. They are also bleeding heart causefighters. They believe that sex is a biological function amongst friends...why fight it when you can fuck it? A perfect night for them is to : Talk. Fuck. Talk. Fuck. Go out and look at sea otters..Pick some flowers...Talk. Fuck. Laugh. Have a drink. Talk. Fuck. Dinner. Fuck. Sleep. Fuck and Fuck some more! Male Sags have more fetishes than a female Sag. Foot fetishes...Lingerie...cross dressing...Female Sags are nature lovers: Do it in the bushes, Sex on the beach, in the ocean, hell behind the local laundrymat! Kinky? they Love Kinky. Wear that pirate getup for these girls, they'll be on their knees in a heartbeat. They'll dress kinky and skip the panties under a short skirt if you're going out on the town, just to get you going, and I do mean going~ these girls want it all night long! Whipped cream, body oils and bondage,Licking and sucking, whatever it takes to keep the party going! . They believe in doing it and doing it often! fucking before the movie starts..., fucking at the theatre during the previews and maybe a quick blowjob on the way home. Sag females love sexing up your whole body! Give them a chance, there won't be a body part they haven't sucked licked or fucked!You can touch them anywhere and they got hott cause they're freaky like that! They love leg rubs and jacuzzis, this is because their thighs are a hot spot...They'll be the ones holding you up fucking in the closet at your friends housewarming party at two in the morning. They are built for lot and lots of sex in any way shape or form, kinky or slow teasing, fast and hard or slow and easy~ if you want to get your freak on, Sagittarians are the way to go! None of the other signs love Sex as Much as a Sag! Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) -- Just as I was writing this one, my Capricorn friend proceeds to call me...Capricorns are psychic by accident. They have no idea the fates smile on them from time to time...they just accept it an move on. You can turn on a Cappie just by breathing on them. They are strong and responsible and have dignity. But they are too easy to turn on sometimes. And watch out when they are horny...whoever is in the room better have protection. They are natural screamers and leave bite marks. they like sex a lot as a favorite past time. Usually durinig commercial breaks is perfect. Its nothing for a Cappie to fuck seven or eight times during commercial breaks in an hour long T.V. Show. They like to do it in the shower...on the furniture...on other peoples furniture...on other peoples beds...Cars...Tents...boats....yep, if they are in the mood...it could be at the Presiden't inaugeration...get ready for some nookie! They love to bite. They might seem at first sight of them rather cold and insensitive. But when they warm up? There is no stopping them. They like to have the back of their knees licked. They live for tongue massages. They think porno is just SILLY...who thought THAT up? But they will watch it to see if they are missing anything. Give them dim lighting, a roaring fireplace and a nice bottle of wine...you might as well reconcile yourself to the fact that you better leave the phones off for the entire weekend and order food in. They like to play games...as long as they are in charge. This is a misunderstood sign...they can be very kinky. As long as it is with people they love. Aquarius (Jan. 20- Feb. 18) -- MY favorite sluts are Aquarius. Why? Because if you don't expect anything in return, you won't be disappointed. Sounds easy, huh? They will get under your skin though, so beware. It's easy to be hurt by an Aquarius because they don't want you to know what they are thinking. If they are silent but you are in the room with them...chances are they are in heavy thought. But don't worry, chances are they are thinking about you...and fifteen other things. Water bearers look at sex like it is a form of recess. They can turn you on by simply walking in the room. They are the Rain Man of the Zodiac. They give too much of themselves to others that don't give a shit...then get shy to those that care about them. Go figure. They like kinky. They are easy going. To them, it's a learning experience. Male Aquarians like to tease and live life in a fantasy world. Female Aquarians can't masturbate enough...Males never get the chance to masturbate because everybody wants a piece of them. They like their ankles nibbled. They love back massages. Their ultimate adventure is the "But we might get caught" game. They will fuck wherever they run the risk of being seen or found by another lover. Don't expect faithfulness from these creatures...it's just not in their DNA. They are open minded to the point that anything shiny will derail their train of thought. Fucking while standing or leaning is a plus here. Fuck with their mind and they will follow you anywhere. They enjoy being fucked in groups of three. Think being Jack Nicholson in bed with the three Witches of Eastwick? This is a Aquarian dream. They need you to make the first move. Not to be dominated. But to bring them back to earth now and again for a little physical funtime. They get lost in the clouds a lot. Don't derail from your personal pleasure course, however, otherwise you will be just talking to them all night. which can be stimulating just as well too. Beware! They are the flirts and teases from HELL! Never take one on a trip to a Home Depot when you are both horny. This can lead to nasty things. Pisces (Feb. 19- Mar. 20) -- Get out the boots - Stilletto heels - foot creams and panty hose...here come da fishies! They are the LEADERS in foot fetish. Masturbation in shoes? Okay. Toe masturbation...bring it on! They love using their feet. Suck on a Pisceans toes and SEE what happens! Fucking in the water and see them squirm. Pisces have probably done it in a sex swing. Or at least considered how strong the ceiling beams are on their house to put one in. Pisces men break furniture when they fuck...things get flung everywhere. Pisces can be turned on by the wierdest things...Trains...Water fountains...Jump rope...Whatever. They are the sirens calling you to the beach where you will end up on your back on a towel with water all over you and not wanting it to stop. I have heard it said that its the pisces that will cross the darker kinky side at least once...just to say "YEP. did that. Not that great" OR "What do you MEAN you never......" SAM from sex and the city should be a Pisces. These babes are perfectionists. You will have a perfect orgasm with them...so will they..in fact, they strive for perfection in everything they do...it's all in th details for them. There will not be ONE hair out of place with a Pisces. All of their fetish jewlery will match a specific whip or dress or shoes. EVERYTHING MUST MATCH! I have one Pisces friend that has nipple tassles that match for every pair of underware and whip that she owns! NO SHIT! You might think they are shy! HA! They are just planning something. I had a Pisces Friend (Same Pisces friend with the matching tassles by the way) who was at a nudist beach in Brazil (You will always find a Pisces at a beach...its inbred in them) A middle aged man in his early 50's or so came up to her and immediately saw her body and BABING! got a hard on! Not feeling shocked in any way, shape or form, she walked right up to him and put her hand on his cock for a moment , then with her same hand took her sunglasses off , looked him RIGHT in the eye and said "DAHLING, your erection is SUPERB!" and she walked off never to see him again. You never can tell what the hell a Pisces will do, but I guarantee that it will be SUPERB! SECRET: Pisces women fall for a man that can wear a high heel and garter. And look good
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