My heart belongs to ZIPPER's blog: "Shorty's life"

Live life, Hate love... Things are born Then they die... Live life Hate love.... Hearts are torn Then you cry Live life, Hate love.... You open your heart They tell you a lie Live life Hate love... A soulmate, A heart-tie Live life Hate love It is no more So I bid you good-bye Live life Hate love Saddness everywhere In my heart I sigh Live life Hate Love.

*dedicated to 2 of my best friends online, David, my bubba and Liz Liz, my "wifey" You are my best friend, I can tell you it all. I feel I can trust you... You'll catch me if I fall. Athough you are not near We talk almost every day. You know me, I know you It doesn't matter what we say. You confide in me, As I can confide in you You're more than just a friend You're family, you care, just as I do. Although online is how we met I feel you are truly my best friend I feel you will be there A true friend until the end.

the feast Cemetary quiet, Death is near Darkness falls, Have no fear. He finds her A victim with ease, She is his For small fees. Together they go, Quiet and dark, He needs her alone To leave his mark. Fangs puncture, Sharp and Quick. Ohh... the sensation. He begins to lick. She grabs his head Pulling his close. He opens his mouth, The blood flows. Life is ending Blood drained out No energy left No voice to shout. Life has faded She is no more. She's just another Blood-letting whore. Alone he walks Quiet and Dark Full and content He left his mark. Dark is fading He has to go... Back to his crypt Far down below. Cemetary quiet, Death is near The sun rises, Have no fear.

***************************** I'm posting these here... because each time we have fought he always deletes what I send him... so, I figure I'll post them here and at least they're on here then. He can't take off what I say from my heart from my profile at least... It may be on his profile for a bit (he may leave it alone) he only gets online at school.. ************************************* For those that want to know who Marcus is here's his cherrytap link: http://www.cherrytap.com/user/607651 ******************************************** 3/12/2007 At least I kept pictures of you on my profile... even though we may be seperating... we are still legally married and you are still a huge part of my life... you always will be. You are the father of my kids... and I am not trying to win you back... not on my list of things to do... But I am not trying to write you out of my life all together like you're doing to me. I'll post this in my blog too... since more than likely you'll try to delete it anyways. -------------------------------------------

... that I have written in the past few days. These have been put down in the order I wrote them... If you don't like them, please don't comment on them. They're my feelings... whether you like them or not. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Broken Dreams Lonely heart, Broken heart... Dreams come true, torn apart Sad soul, Depressed soul... Agony and despair It takes its toll... Brown eyes, Crying eyes... tears slip down, just a little, she "dies" Depressing life, Miserable life... The hurtful words Cut like a knife... ******************** Love Once again she is Hurt beyond words... Once again her world is crushed... Love is dead. ********************* Clear Blood Tears... clear blood... Outer proof that she is hurt No less visable Than if it were red... The pain is real The saddness too.... Tears they fall... Like clear blood. ********************** Thoughts I thought my heart Would feel empty I thought I'd still be sad... I felt my world is crashing But I am not that sad... My feelings on paper, My heart and mind spent At last I can rest Knowing it's all out. *********************** Love Decided to Leave Love still was in her heart Even after that day When he decided That he would walk away. This love was like the sun Full and shining bright... But now it's setting, And she is lost without light. He was her smile... When she was down. He was her love, Who almost never had a frown. They were close Once upon a time, true.. Little things got in the way And turned his love blue. She still loves him, Even to this day... But she'd rather him be happy So she'll watch him walk away. Time mends all things Or so they want you to believe... Life must go on. It's hard when love decided to leave. ***************************** When Love is Gone Last night I cried myself to sleep Thinking of happy times My heart will always weep For that lost love. I laid on his side of the bed And cried into his pillow My heart feels like led His presence is still everywhere. How can I go on without love? Who can I turn to... Besides God above? Who else knows my pain? Who is there I can talk to? What can me done? My heart is sad and blue... I feel lost. This paper is my only friend This pen is my tool... Both will be here until the end Taking notes when love is gone. ***************************** Wishing Him The Best I have nothing to confess I feel sad that is all... I've never cheated Or even dreamed of another. I've always been faithful To a love that wasn't there. Why he lingered on so For this many years I'm not sure... But a more faithful person I doubt he finds But I wish him the best. *************************** Tormenting Myself Why must my heart Hold onto him When he clearly Wants out? Why must my mind Torment me With thoughts of him Good times will be no more... Why must my soul Feel weighed down He couldn't have been my soulmate Or he wouldn't have gone And hurt me Would he? *************************** Love walks away Lonely and sad I sit and wait For love to find me.... For a soulmate. I thought I had him He said I was wrong. My heart lay broken My saddness is long He walks away from me From love that was true. There is no love from him He has left me blue I still love my husband, true to be... I hope that love he can still see. ****************************** Darkness Darkness lays heavy On my heart I fear the sun Will never again shine Will my heart ever Feel warm love again? Will I get over Losing my true love? I am lost And so confused... I miss him. I miss my love. But I haven't Had him in so long... ******************************** What Happened My heart lay broken, bloody, and trampled.. I never knew how you felt. We stopped talking A long time ago. What happened to my friend? What happened to our love? Why is it I have to hurt For you to be happy? If you still love me Like you claim to Why can't we make us work? ****************************** What I want You won't talk to me Or even look my way. I'm trying to be nice I'm not sure what to say. I don't want this over This much I know But I realize I can't beg you not to go. I don't need you in my life But I want you here to share it I want you, nothing else... I can't stand this shit. I know what I want Just like always before. But I know to make you happy I let you go, I love you more. My heart aches still For love that seems it can't be My heart is true to you. I close my eyes and you're what I see.

I heard this today on the movie "Broken Bridges" I feel this is how I will get through this... this is how I feel right now pretty much.... every tear I shed will help my heart heal... each time I face what hurts me head on... the stronger I will stand... my favorite quote plays here too... "It can't rain all the time" my life will go on with or without marcus... I don't need him but I still want to share my life with him... there's a difference between a need and a want. anyways... Broken - lindsey haun Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky Then it starts to rain, my defenses hit the ground And they shatter all around, so open and exposed I found strength in the struggle Face to face with my trouble When you're broken in a million little pieces And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore Every tear falls down for a reason Don't you stop believing in yourself When you're broken Little girl don't be so blue I know what you're going through Don't let it beat you up Heaven knows that getting scars Only makes you who you are Only makes you who you are No matter how much your heart is aching There is beauty in the breaking Yeah When you're broken in a million little pieces And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore Every tear falls down for a reason Don't you stop believing in yourself When you're broken Better days are gonna find you once again Every piece will find its place When you're broken, when you're broken When you're broken in a million little pieces And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore Every tear falls down for a reason Don't you stop believing in yourself When you're broken Oh, when you're broken When you're broken When you're broken

today is the anniversary of my mom's death. she's been gone 2 years now. she died of cancer. last night my husband left... will he come back... I don't know. All I can do is hope and pray that he finds the answers he needs to find. Will I linger on the fact he is gone? I'm going to try not to... Life is hard enough when you have help getting through... It'll be tough to make it with me and the kids... I have to find another job... can't make it on just $8.50/hr even if it is full time... I have a house that I'm buying... bills to pay and my kids to take care of. they are my number one concern. So I won't have much time to even think of him being gone out of my life. My daughter is upset this morning... she woke up and asked where's daddy... I told her that he decided not to stay... she said but I thought you said this was daddy's house too... I told her I did say that but that daddy felt it was best this way... but she didn't need to worry we both still loved her... I really hate life... just when you think you have a chance... life throws bullshit your way... anyways... I respect marcus for how he thinks... he needs his time to gather himself and find out what he needs to know... I repsect and understand it but I don't have to like it. If he decides that this life isn't really for him, I wish him the best all though it will kill me... but I have to. I owe him that much. anyways... well, that's my blog for this day... I have an hour before I have to leave for work...