Crimson Shadow Dragon's blog: "Sexual Assault Survivor Advocate"

Flashbacks Submitted by jessicab on Thu, 2006-02-16 19:02. What are Flashbacks? Flashbacks are when memories of past traumas feel as if they are taking place in the current moment. These memories can take many forms: dreams, sounds, smells, images, body sensations, or overwhelming emotions. This re-experience of the trauma often seems to come from nowhere and, therefore, blurs the lines between past and present, leaving the individual feeling anxious, scared, powerless, or any other emotions that they felt at the time of the trauma. Some flashbacks are mild and brief, a passing moment, while others may be powerful and last a long time. Many times the individual does not even realize that he or she is having a flashback and may feel faint or dissociate. What Helps During a Flashback? If you realize that you are in the middle of a flashback: Tell yourself that you are having a flashback and remind yourself that the actual event is over and you survived. Breathe. Take slow, deep breaths by putting your hand on your stomach and taking deep enough breaths that your hand moves out with the inhalations and in with the exhalations. This is important because when we panic our body begins to take short, shallow breaths and the decrease in oxygen that accompanies this change increases our panicked state. So increasing the oxygen in our system can help us to get out of the anxious state we are in. Return to the present. Take time to use your five senses to establish where you are in the present. Look around you and take note of the colors in the room. Listen to the sounds that are happening around you. Smell the smells that are in the room with you. Feel the clothes on your skin and take note of how different parts of your body feel (hands, feet, etc.). Recognize what would make you feel more safe. Wrap yourself in a blanket, shut yourself in a room, whatever it takes to feel as if you are secure. Get the support of people you can trust. If you can, ask someone for help and support in this time of vulnerability. Take the time to recover. Let yourself have the time to get back to feeling comfortable and in the present. This may take a while and that is ok. If you like, take a nap, some time for yourself, or whatever it is that would help you feel safe and more comfortable. Be good to yourself. Know that you are not crazy and are not doing anything wrong- it takes time to heal.

Partner Rape Submitted by jessicab on Mon, 2006-02-27 18:24. Definition: Sexual acts committed without a person's consent and/or against a person's will when the perpetrator is the individual’s current partner (married or not), previous partner, or co-habitator. 3 types of Partner Rape: Battering rape- The experience of both physical and sexual violence within a relationship. Some may experience physical abuse during the sexual assault. Others may experience sexual assault after a physical assault as an attempt to "make up." Force-only Rape- Motivated by a perpetrator’s need to demonstrate power and maintain control. Therefore, he/she asserts his/her feelings of entitlement over his/her partner in the form of forced sexual contact. Obsessive/Sadistic Rape- Sadistic sexual assault involves torture and perverse sexual acts. Such rape is characteristically violent and often leads to physical injury. Emotional & Physical Reactions: Physical: Injuries to the vaginal and anal areas Lacerations Soreness Bruising Torn muscles Fatigue Vomiting Broken bones Black eyes Injuries cause by weapons Miscarriages Stillbirths Contraction of STIs , including HIV Emotional: Anxiety Shock Intense fear Depression Suicidal ideation Post-traumatic stress disorder Betrayal Fundamental loss of trust Research indicates that survivors of partner rape are more likely to be raped multiple times when compared to stranger and acquaintance rape survivors. As such, partner rape survivors are more likely to suffer severe and long lasting physical and psychological injuries. This section was adapted from materials provided by the Texas Association Against Sexual Assault.

Incest Submitted by jessicab on Mon, 2006-02-27 18:28. Introduction: Incest is often included as a subset of Sexual Assault of Children. While there is a substantial amount of overlap in the two types of assault, for the purposes of this website we have separated them in recognition of the different needs that victims of each type of assault may have. Definition: Sexual contact between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal (e.g., parents and children, uncles/aunts and nieces/nephews, etc.). This usually takes the form of an older family member sexually abusing a child or adolescent. Incest is considered by many experts to be a particularly damaging form of sexual abuse because it is perpetrated by indivuals whom the victim trusts and depends upon. In addition, support can also be lacking and pressure to keep silent powerful as fear of the family breaking up can be overwhelming to other family members. CULTURAL NOTE: There are, however, different cultural expectations and rules about incest. For instance, in some areas of the Arab world and southern India it is estimated that as many as 50% of marriages occur between first cousins. In addition, in southern India it is still common to see a maternal uncle (the mother's brother) marry the first daughter. Incest can include such sexual acts as: Noncontact acts- sexual comments, exposure, voyeurism, showing pornographic materials, etc. Sexual contact- touching, rubbing Digital or object penetration- both of the victim and of the perpetrator Oral sex- both of the victim and of the perpetrator Penile penetration- vaginal, anal, animals Circumstances of the sexual acts can also be diverse including: Dyadic sexual abuse- involving two people (victim and perpetrator) Group sex Sex rings Sexual exploitation Child pornography Child prostitution Common Reactions: Reactions in Children: Withdrawal Depression Sleeping & eating disorders Self-mutilation Phobias Psychosomatic symptoms (stomach aches, headaches) School problems (absences, drops in grades) Poor hygiene/excessive bathing Anxiety Guilt Regressive behaviors- thumb-sucking, etc. For reactions in adult survivors of incest please see Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse The following reactions are seen in child, adolescent and adult survivors of incest. Traumatic Sexualization: Aversive feelings about sex Overvaluing sex Sexual identity problems Hypersexual or sexual avoidance Stigmatization: Feelings of guilt/responsibility for the abuse Self-destructive behavior Substance abuse self-harm suicidal ideation risk-taking acts provocative behavior in order to encite punishment Betrayal: Lack of trust, especially of those who were supposed to be protective and nurturing Avoidance of investment in others Manipulative behaviors Anger, acting-out and borderline behaviors Re-enacting the trauma through involvement in additional abusive or dangerous relationships Powerlessness: Perception of vulnerability, victimization Desire to control and prevail- often exhibited as identification with the aggressor Avoidance- including dissociation, running away Anxiety- including phobias, sleep problems, eating problems, elimination problems, revictimization NOTE: It is important to note that there is no standard or typical symptom that can identify an individual as having survived incest. Much of the reactions and symptoms will depend on age at time of abuse, age at time of disclosure, support (or lack of support) from other caregivers, length of abuse, sex of the victim and perpetrator, etc. This section was adapted from materials provided by the Texas Association Against Sexual Assault. Additional information for this section comes from Valente, S.M., Sexual Abuse of Boys in Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nurses, 18:1, p. 10-18 and Child Sexual Abuse: Intervention and Treatment Issues, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (1999).

Rape Submitted by jessicab on Mon, 2006-02-27 14:26. Definition: The exact definition of “rape,” “sexual assault,” “sexual abuse” and similar terms differs by state. The wording can get confusing, since states often use different words to mean the same thing, or use the same words to describe different things. So, for a precise legal definition, you need to check the law in your state. But here are some general guidelines based on the definitions used by the U.S. Justice Department. Please note that these definitions are a bit graphic, which is inevitable when describing crimes this violent. Rape is forced sexual intercourse, including vaginal, anal or oral penetration. Penetration may be by a body part or an object. Rape victims may be forced through threats or physical means. In about 8 out of 10 rapes, no weapon is used other than physical force. Anyone may be a victim of rape: women, men or children, straight or gay. Sexual assault is unwanted sexual contact that stops short of rape or attempted rape. This includes sexual touching and fondling. (But, be aware: Some states use this term interchangeably with rape.) Further Explanation: In the most extreme cases, rape may involve force which may include but is not limited to: Use or display of a weapon Physical battering Immobilization of the victim More often, however, rape involves psychological coercion and taking advantage of an individual who is under duress or incapacitated and, therefore, incapable of making a decision on his/her own (including under the influence of alcohol, drugs and/or prescription medications). Rape is a crime motivated by a need to control, humiliate and harm. Perpetrators use rape as a weapon to hurt and dominate others. Common Reactions to Rape Include: Shock Numbness Loss of control Disorientation Helplessness Sense of vulnerability Fear Self-blame/guilt for "allowing" the crime to happen Feeling that these reactions are a sign of weakness This section was adapted from materials provided by the Texas Association Against Sexual Assault.

Purification/ Healing Ritual Adapted from the Navajo Beauty Way Healing Ritual This is a Wiccan adaptation of a traditional Navajo healing Ritual. The original was a very involved native Rite, lasting hours, ending with a Shaman performing an elaborate sand painting. I have adapted it here by merging it with a Wiccan Purification Spell, and making it short enough to perform comfortably without losing any of the true meaning, and adding correspondences used by Witches to make it a little easier. You need to Purify yourself first to add power, so the first part is Purification. This was used traditionally for Rape victims, but this version works for anyone who has suffered a great loss, or is going through tragedy. A little warning here, this can be an Intense Spell, so be sure you are ready to perform it, or wait until you are. Here we go: Materials needed: Your typical Altar setup One White candle One red candle Incense: Cedar, pine, Frankincense (whichever you have) Stones for Power: Amber, Bloodstone, jade (For mental healing, Use Sodalite if Physical healing is needed) Colors: Magenta or Red (for Altar cloth or whatever) Element: Fire (for Purification) Time: Do this Ritual on a waning moon to diminish pain, or a waxing one to increase healing. Do this Ritual on the day of the week that represents the ones needing the healing. First, take a Ritual bath with sea salt, and then light Altar candles. Ground, cleanse, and center,(in any way you usually do) Cast a Circle,(in your favorite way) Concentrate hard on the parties to be healed, visualizing their pain, feel the Pain yourself, try to pull it into yourself, into a ball of Energy to be burned off later. Then, Call the Quarters or the Guardians of the watchtowers, (your preference), and gather energy for the Spell. Invoke Gods and Goddesses: (some that help this spell are the Goddesses Brighid, Carmenta, Gaia, or Isis; Gods Belenus, Ganesha, or Dian Hecht.) Light the Red candle, and say, “Here stands (your name), whose Spirit burns brightly and as truly as this flame. He (She) is upstanding, steadfast, and true. “Purity is His (Her) name.” “Here is His (Her) Honor, Righteousness”, Light the white candle and say, “Here also is His (Her) Purity, His (Her) Truth, and his (Her) sincerity.” Think hard of all these qualities entering into you and remaining. They are now part of you, part of the Goddess that is part of all of us. Now concentrate and recite this story: The High Priestess, attended by her maidens, came out of the East, and arrived at last at the banks of the stream. There did she pause, and, Her eyes reflecting the glimmering of the waters, She smiled, and lifted Her arms to the skies. Her maidens approached Her, and with musical laughter, began to remove their Lady’s garments, the delicate silken scarves they laid upon the dewed grass beside the stream, and on them they placed the High Priestess jewels. As the youngest of them brushed out their Lady’s hair, they removed their own garments. Then did they all clasp hands, and, with cries and gasps of delight, run down the bank and into the silvery stream. There did they splash and run and jump and cry, and the dusts of their journeys fell from their bodies, fell with them the dross of their cares, cleansed were they as they played in the sparkling ribbon of water. Cleansed were they and Pure again. Let the candles continue to burn as you began the Healing part of the Ritual: Concentrate hard about the ones to be healed, letting the ball of energy full of their pain grow full of their pain and tragedy. Concentrate on it growing smaller, smaller, smaller until it is barely visible, and open up a little door at your heart charka, and push it through, and close the door firmly. Think of the healing beginning, the purity of your help burning through all evil, bad karma, pain or negative thoughts. Then, recite this: ”The world before me is restored in beauty”, “The world behind me is restored in beauty’, “The world below me is restored in beauty”, “The world above me is restored in beauty”. “All things around me are restored in beauty”, “My voice is restored in beauty”, “It is finished in beauty” “It is finished in beauty”. Think hard of the ones to be healed, see them happy, carefree, and fully healed. Picture their future, happy and full. See, feel, and live the moment. Then recite: “By the Goddess, I destroy the pain, “By the Gods, I restore the gain, “By all that is good, and all that is real”, “You are now Full, You are now Healed”. Let the candles burn down, partake of cakes and wine, then thank and dismiss the quarters as you usually do. Close the Circle, and meditate quietly of what you have just done. Ground and Center again to drain off excess Energy raised. I know this is a long Ritual, but works well if done in Perfect trust, with Perfect Love. Icefire, 2006