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Novaleada's blog: "SCREWED"

created on 10/31/2007  |  http://fubar.com/screwed/b148523

Love in general!!!

Ok So Now it's time to really ask myself what do i want out of my life well its this simple i want someone who will love me for me and not treat me as if i was a fuckin door mat . I just started talking to someone today and well im not saing there name because its frankly none of any ones business but mine really .so here is the crystal question can you love someone regardless or there personage ?? alot of you will say nay but as for me i say yay and thats just because of who i am i can love anyone that is willing to love me and someone that needs me because its clear the person im with does not he tells me alot that he wishes i would just go he tells his family and friends well im waiting for her to divorce me sio i can live my life and you know what maybe its time i did just that he has no faith in me i want to live in a house where im needed loved and wanted not someplace were i feel like a burden to the other person granted i have lots of problems with my feet since i ruined the ligaments but that doesn't stop me from getting and doing what i want to do im my own person and its time i did what was best for me too so with that said im hoping this person will continue to talk to me and maybe we can see where things go from there

My thoughts into poems

I lay awake at night wondering how things might have been. If i had gone down a different road would i be here in this place now.I wander through my dreams and see what i should have done things now that i look back i wish i had done. i turned my back on everyone that ever cared for me and i pushed away ppl that i loved but now its to late to change the past so my dreams float on by each night as i lay awake thinking tring so hard to figure out were to go next what to do after and then above all what i can change to make it all right . i walked away from someone that loved me and walked into a world that would have been better without me and the only thing i can say is Im sorry please forgive me love me guide me and teach me . all this i think of each night as i lay awke in my bed .

I CAN'T WIN !!!!

tears Current mood: enraged Category: Life just wanted to say goodbye because i can tell you right now that if i lose my kids then i will no longer have any reason to live and just maybe i will get to see my daddy again and i just hope that god will forgive me if that be the case because i can not live without them they are my life and without them i have nothing and no reason to live at all i just want to say to all of you that if i ever did anything bad or mean or hurtful to you im sorry i ask for your forgiveness and hope that one day you will forgive me and know that i once was happy . I feel as if the world has turned its back on me my friends have. they never talk to me anymore don't call to say hey nothing don't even reply bck when i comment few of you do but most of you don't where are you when i need you in my time of need imthere for you now its my turn help me if you love me for the love of god help me hold on i have nothing if my kids are lost to me my marriage will end then i will be alone just how i have felt for the past 2 yrs alone unloved and not cared for at all i just wanted to be happy and do what was right for me and my kids but it seems that nothing i do is good enough for any of you or for that matter any one in general
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