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ANGRY VERY ANGRY

I have been in my house freezing for almost 3 days just got my elctric turned back on. I have never asked for help yet, I was treated as if I asked for THEIR MONEY" all the time! I thought that funding was for people who needed it. And why should I have to beg, plead , and cry to get someone to help me? I am not sure... I could see my breath in my house...I have had to rough it before, I can do this...But being a "SICK" woman I should never have to be in these circumstances..EVER! NOW...WHEN I could work, I put in my time I worked until I couldn't...as you all know I have been fighting the system for 6 years for disability. THEY are draging me along... I tried "OUR" trustee he is in "ONE" day a week and I can't reach him that day...then other funding in my COUNTY is like very hard to come by right now. I did FINALLY get it back on and I am still cold! I am hoping through this I do not have pnuemonia...I go see my doc on TUES!! I just don't know what to do anymore, I have one more place that I can go to to get my gas turned on for my HEAT HEAT...I have my heaters and oven on now and getting warm :) Everytime I call to see about anything, it seems like I am falling back in the well scratching my way back up...just getting dirt under my nails... REACHED THE VERY END OF MY ROPE!!! Freezin, Lizzy
What is Mixed Connective Tissue Disease (MCTD)? A few decades ago, scientists discovered that patients with a connective tissue disease had symptoms of both lupus, scleroderma, myositis, etc. These diseases are called ‘overlap-syndromes’. In 1969 Sharp and his co-workers found out that there is one specific type of overlap-syndrome with symptoms of lupus, scleroderma, myositis and rheumatoid arthritis, together with a large quantity of antibodies against one specific antigen, namely U1RNP. They believed it to be a distinct disease entity and called it MCTD. Meanwhile, it is known that Sjogren’s Syndrome is very common in MCTD. It is still a matter of debate whether or not this disorder is diverse from the other overlap-syndromes. In general, however, this disorder is considered a distinct clinical entity. Most important symptoms Raynaud’s phenomenon Is basically always present in the early phase of the disease, mostly without other symptoms at the level of the fingers, unless scleroderma is also present at the onset of the disease. Swollen fingers Mostly all the fingers are swollen in the overall length and become ‘sausage-like’. Sometimes this is only temporary, but occasionally it evolves into sclerodactyly (thin fingers with hard skin and limited mobility). Arthritis In the early phase there is painful swelling of the joints of the hands and feet like in rheumatoid arthritis. Damage to the cartilage or bone, however, is rare. As such, malformations do not occur or only seldom and the function of the joints remains intact. This kind of arthritis is comparable to the arthritis seen in lupus. Muscle inflammation In 10 to 20% of the cases, patients develop a real form of myositis, muscle inflammation (see polymyositis). Two out of three patients suffer from significant muscle pain (no weakening or paralysis), without demonstrable abnormalities in the laboratory test, electromyography or biopsy. Patients complain mostly of pain at the level of the large muscle groups of the shoulder girdle and the upper arms. Lungs The lungs may show the same abnormalities and problems as in scleroderma. Reduced lung volume is common, sometimes reduced absorption of oxygen and rarely overpressure in the lung vessels with fatal outcome occurs. Oesophagus The same complaints as in scleroderma may occur. Heart Inflammation of the heart sac or pericardium (pericarditis) may be acute. Unlike in polymyositis, inflammation of the heart muscle (myocarditis), which may cause heart failure or arrhythmia, occurs rarely. These complications are very serious and may be life threatening. Neurological damage Meningitis, psychological abnormalities due to brain damage, damage to the spinal marrow or facial nerves have been described. These symptoms occur often in Sjogren’s Syndrome, which often occurs in MCTD. Renal involvement Renal involvement is very rare and can be similar to the damage caused in scleroderma (especially damage to the renal blood vessels) as well as to the damage caused in lupus lupus (damage to the renal filtering units). Skin and mucous membranes The skin may show symptoms of scleroderma as well as of lupus. The mucous membranes (mouth, vagina) and the eyes may be dry due to the Sjogren’s Syndrome . Who can get MCTD and is it hereditary? MCTD is a rare disease. In most cases the age of onset lies between 20 and 50 and 8 to 9 out of 10 patients are female. MCTD is not hereditary. There can be a difference in the disease’s genetic susceptibility: the same susceptibility often seen in lupus, rheumatoid arthritis or Sjogren’s Syndrome, can occur in combination. External factors may also play a role. Some cases of MCTD have been described after the patients had worked professionally with PVC (polyvinylchloride). Evolution Since MCTD overlaps (‘mixes’) different connective tissue disorders, there are many different types, and consequently, many prognoses. Complaints and symptoms depend on the organs involved, the degree of inflammation and the general degree of disease activity. In general the prognosis is favourable if the disease is adequately treated. Life expectancy is comparable to the life expectancy in lupus, i.e. favourable with a few exceptions. Diagnosis The diagnosis is based on complaints, symptoms and organ involvement and on the presence of anti-U1RNP antibodies in high titre (concentration). It is the only connective tissue disease for which one specific type of antibody is necessary to make a diagnosis (at least in most centres). If the doctor suspects the diagnosis of MCTD, some additional tests like lung function tests, heart check-up, examination of the kidneys and blood pressure need to be carried out. In case of muscle complaints or nerve pains an electromyography is necessary. The results of these examinations may also contribute to a diagnosis. Treatment Although treatments with a low dose of corticosteroids have been successful, there is no standard procedure for MCTD. The treatment is based on the type and degree of organ involvement, and can be a treatment for lupus or for scleroderma. The treatment has to be individualised for each patient. MCTD and pregnancy Surveys on the subject are quite different. The influence of pregnancy on MCTD or vice versa can be compared to pregnancy in lupus. Overlapping syndromes Besides MCTD there exist also other overlap syndromes which are less clearly definable or which do not have anti-U1RNP antibodies. As in MCTD, treatment is based on the type and degree of organ involvement and it is individualised for each patient. The evolution and prognosis are also comparable to MCTD, except that there may be more individual dissimilarities among patients. Undefined Connective Tissue Disease (UCTD) In the early phase of a connective tissue disease and especially at the onset of an overlap syndrome or MCTD, the symptoms can be very limited and unusual. Although the onset of a connective tissue disease can be certain in such cases, it is impossible to define the type of disease with certainty. That is why the term UCTD (= undefined connective tissue disease) is used. Mostly Raynaud’s phenomenon, joint pains, sometimes arthritis and muscle pains are present. The evolution is very diverse: some patients remain in this phase while others evolve quickly into a real form of lupus or another type of connective tissue disease. Again, treatment has to be individualised according to each patient. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I do not have all symptoms of this but a lot of them just to give you a general idea.
What is systemic lupus? Systemic lupus is a generalised autoimmune disease. In an autoimmune disease, the immune system (=defence) partly targets itself, by producing autoantibodies that cause inflammatory diseases. Generalised means that the autoimmunity can attack different organ systems and can cause generalised disease manifestations Who is affected by lupus? Basically anyone at any age, but mostly lupus strikes women of childbearing age (80 to 90%). The number of lupus patients affected by lupus also differs according to race. In the USA lupus is more common in Blacks than in Caucasians. Genetic (hereditary) factors are sure enough believed to play a role in the development of the disease. Prevalence of lupus Studies are scarce and results vary widely, but it cannot be denied that the number of lupus patients is increasing. Improved diagnostic measures and a better understanding of the disease are two important factors in the increase of lupus patients, but there is also an absolute rise in the incidence (= number of new patients per year of a specific disease) Cause and heredity The cause remains unknown. Experts are getting convinced of the fact that inflammations and damage are caused by a reaction of autoantibodies with normal cellular components and other elements. In this process both genetic as environmental factors can play a role. Several genetic factors are of importance, but they are unlikely to be entirely passed on. This is the reason why lupus is not a hereditary disease, although risks of developing lupus are bigger if a relative in the first degree has been diagnosed with the disease. Ultraviolet rays are an example of an environmental factor known to trigger lupus. Although it has not been proved, viruses may also play a role in the onset of lupus. Lupus, however, is not contagious at all. Hormones are involved as well: female hormones stimulate lupus, while male hormones protect against it. This is one of the reasons to avoid the use of the contraceptive pill. Onset and symptoms Possible symptoms and manifestations of lupus are very diverse. The onset of the disease is never the same: it may start off with any of the symptoms mentioned below, in a mild or severe form. Because there are so many symptoms, we have to stick to the following summary: 90 % fatigue, arthritis and joint pain 80 % fever 70 % hair loss, anaemia, swollen glands 60 % weight loss, poor appetite, butterfly-shaped rash 50 % inflammation of the pleura (pleuritis), inflammation of the heart sac (pericarditis), inflammation of the membrane lining the abdominal cavity (peritonitis), renal involvement, personality changes, purpura 40 % photosensitivity, bacterial infections 30 % ulceration of the mucous membranes e.g. aphthous ulcers, pain in the muscles or myositis (inflammation of the muscles), gastrointestinal complaints, enlargement of the liver, high blood pressure, pneumonia, myocarditis (inflammation of the heart muscle) and endocarditis (involvement of the heart valves). 20 % Raynaud's phenomenon (turning white of the fingers), discoid lupus (skin involvement in lupus with round disc-shaped scars), inflammation of the eyes, Sjogren's Syndrome, severe renal involvement, attacks of epilepsy, psychoses, inflammation of the coronary arteries (supply of blood to the heart muscle) 10 % hives, oedema or formation of blisters on the skin, lupus pneumonia, brain damage or damage to the spinal cord, migraine, autoimmune destruction of red blood cells, low platelet count, neuritis (inflammation of the nerves) Diagnosis The diagnosis is based on complaints and/or symptoms and/or involvement of internal organs and/or abnormalities in laboratory test results. There is no single lupus test that can confirm the disease. Beginning mild forms of lupus are hard to diagnose, and sometimes diagnosis is only possible after following the evolution of the symptoms. In case of a possible onset of lupus, following up the early symptoms as well as informing the patient are very important. Because there is no decisive test for lupus and due to the changing character of the disease, criteria have been defined to classify lupus. Their main purpose, however, is scientific research as they can only be used as a guideline to diagnose lupus. In some cases lupus can be diagnosed before the patient meets these criteria. Treatment Must be focused on the following: general degree of illness and complaints internal organs involved degree of involvement of these organs Medications range from absolutely nothing to high doses of corticosteroids or immunosuppressive drugs. Antimalarials and nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs are frequently used. The basic principle to treat lupus is to react quickly with high doses of corticosteroids and/or immunosuppressive drugs if necessary and maintain the lowest dose possible during periods of low disease activity. Drug-induced lupus Some 50 prescription drugs can produce symptoms of lupus, which normally disappear after the patient stops taking the medication. This does not imply, however, that these drugs are forbidden for lupus patients. The most important ones are: Hydralasine (Neprosol), Procaïnamide (Pronestyl), Isoniazide (Rimifon), Propylthiouracil (Strumazol), d-Penicillamine (Kelatin) The prescription drugs mentioned may have other brand names Lupus en zwangerschap A lupus patient is allowed to become pregnant if the disease is under control, with a low dose of medication if necessary. The safest drug during pregnancy is a low dose of corticosteroids. A lupus patient should not become pregnant without a complete check-up, given the risk for mother and child. The child may have neonatal lupus due to the presence of anti-Ro antibodies and for the mother there is the risk of a severe flare. During pregnancy a flare may occur. In this case, it needs to be treated appropriately and the best way to do that is with corticosteroids. If you have lupus, there is a greater risk of miscarriage, often due to anti-cardiolipin antibodies (read further). These antibodies cause the blood to clot more easily, so that small blood vessels in the placenta can get clogged up. Low weight at birth occurs more often in newborn babies of lupus patients. Neonatal lupus This is a kind of skin lupus that breaks out a few weeks after birth and disappears at the age of 6 months. It is caused by the transfer of anti-Ro antibodies through the placenta to the foetus. In more severe cases, the heart of the foetus may be affected at about 18 weeks and the foetus may die, or the baby may be born with a congenital heart block (delayed contraction of the ventricle due to a conduction disorder, resulting in a very slow heart rate). The survival rate of these babies varies. The children themselves do not have lupus. Most important antibodies in lupus Anti-Sm antibodies About 15 % of lupus patients in Europe have anti-Sm, compared to 30 % in the USA. It is a disease marker: this means it is only found in patients with lupus, and mostly in relatively serious cases. Anti-dsDNA antibodies Seen in about 40 % of all lupus patients. In more severe cases of lupus the percentage amounts to 80 % during a flare. These antibodies are tightly linked with lupus and lupus nephritis, though this is not 100 % the case. They occur especially in lupus nephritis, in which they are also believed to play an important role. Anti-Ro About 40 % of people with lupus have anti-Ro. These antibodies are linked with congenital heart block and neonatal lupus and are probably the cause of it. (read pregnancy) Anticardiolipin antibodies Often facilitate blood clotting, which may lead to a propensity for miscarriage and thromboses in young patients. Antibodies against red blood cells (positive Coombtest) kMay cause haemolysis, or the destruction of red blood cells on an autoimmune basis. Severe autoimmune haemolysis is very rare. A whole range of other antibodies ... of which the importance is not yet clear. Signs and symptoms that need immediate medical examination: fever attacks sudden onset of extreme fatigue general malaise neurological complaints extreme headache or unexplainable mood swings acute or subacute skin rashes unexplainable chest pains unexplainable abdominal pains new complaints due to arthritis increasing shortness of breath presence of protein in the urine any form of infection Evolution and prognosis Systemic lupus progresses with ups and downs. Periods of serious exacerbations may alternate with periods of low disease activity, in which one may even discontinue taking medication. The patient is then said to be in remission. After menopause, lupus is likely to disappear spontaneously. Life expectancy has increased greatly over the last 40 years and statistically almost equals a normal life span with 93 % of all patients surviving ten years after diagnosis. This improvement is due to early diagnosis and better use of medication. Even lupus nephritis can be reversed if treatment follows immediately and intensively. The more severe forms of lupus that lead to death by affecting the brain or kidneys have become rare. Exceptionally, however, complications (mostly infections) or a neglected flare may be fatal. Once "systemic lupus" is diagnosed, adapted drug treatment should be able to stabilise the disease. Still, lupus is to be considered a serious disorder. Accurate compliance of medical advice together with regular medical check ups are absolutely necessary to control the disease. Clear information is in this case essential. Also contact with people from our support group, the CIB-league, can be a step forward in the process of learning how to cope with lupus. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man if one more thing goes wrong I SWEAR!!!! OMG Hello eveyone it is now Halloween morning and it feels like somethings else is gonna go wrong OMG!! I have just about had it for real! I know that one person can only take so much and that God will only put on us what we can handle...but I really think I am at my limit! I in the past few days have had my washer stop working, my water shut off snd turned back on with help...Hated asking :( Now I have to ask for help for my electric. AND all of this because no ruling on my disability..I am sick, can't work...UGH! As if that weren't enough!...My bathroom is an old one...they told me a long time ago I would have to have my back yard dug up to fix the problem(WHICH IS THOUSANDS)...well now it is starting it again...got the old pipes and something to do with the ground freezing it has moved them and my water in the sink, bathtub, and toilet will now start backing up until I get this fixed LOVELY!!! OK...So anyway there is that.... MEN are (some ok) JERKS! I am so sick and tired of having to prove something to them or be whatever it is they want me to be UM NO! I am who I am, if I want someone to "HAVE" me they will if not don't EXPECT ME TO BE A WHORE OR SLUT because I am NOT! I don't want a relationship with anyone right now...or anything I can't even F*CKIN DEAL WITH MY LIFE! So I am just about at the end of my rope! I am a strong woman...and right now I am gettin VERY WEAK AND TIRED! had to get it off my chest...

ANGER

I am getting ready to go to bed...but before I do I must say something. I am a very kind and passionate woman...but lately I have been so angry. I hate it! I mean I guess I can be thankful that I atleast can cry get angry and use my emotions. I haven't become numb to life as of yet. I hope that I never do. I do believe that I have a lot to give, but right now I can't. And it does make me angry. I think I am mad at everything and everyone(not literally), but trying not to be. I want a KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR to come rescue me lol I know...I know...lol had to throw in a funny! I KNOW I WILL GO DREAM ABOUT HIM!!! GOOD NIGHT ALL!! Elizabeth
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