today is the day that i sit in wonder of what is going on these days? i am in the dark about whats going on in my life right now that it is confusing and different to me. i am lost and don't know really how to get back to the light. all i know is i don't want any more games played with my heart or mind. i can not take any more i have dealt with enough as it is in my life. yes i know that shit happens and it happens for a reason but hey why can't the one thing that has gone right in my life stay that way for once. i am going to stay in this dark place for now until she realizes that she brings the light into my days and the moon into my nights. i will love no one else if she leaves and i will stay in this dark yet broken night. i am going to have to realize one day that i am not what she really wants or that it is me and no one else. i can not keep going on living wondering day by day if it were going to be my last with her. i know you guys and girls are tired of hearing this from me but this is the only way i can release what is in my head without making her feel bad or that i am pushing her or trying to trap her in anything. cause i am so far from that but what do i do when i can't seem to figure out if its me she really wants or just the thought of me. i would and have treated her like a queen. showing her that she is more than nothing and that she is worth everything to me. i am willing to get my heart wripped out of my chest and letting it get stomped on over and over for just another day with her.
I am living life one day at a time. i rather love and loose than not love at all. we all have our weaknesses and our strongness but we all get hurt somehow someway. i hope everyone who loves dont end up in the same kind of situation i am in right now. but for me i cant stop loving no matter how much i get hurt. she is my future my love of my life and she can do no wrong as long as she comes home to me at night. i know am alot soft hearted but i cant help myself when i look in those blue eyes i melt. she has me wrapped up tight in the palm of her hands and i cant seem to exscape the clutches and i dont want to either.