Proud and Free Metalhead's blog: "Ryan's Blog"

The past few months have been a nightmare for me. Work has been an everyday pain in my ass, bills are getting higher cause of gas costs and now my rent just sky rocketed through the roof cause it's renewal time. My little cousin got the crap beat out of him at a concert (his first concert) almost a week ago and just now is getting out of the hospital. My car is making wierd noises, I am having problems with the new computer so I am gonna have to ship it back out to LA. And aside from the fact that I have no social life up here cause of work, now they are cutting everyones over time so now my money will be tighter and its too damn late to start a friggin life up here. I have been debating this for months and have decided to go back to Florida. If I am gonna pay these kinda bills, I would rather pay them in a place I know better, where the cops follow orders, where you can trust your co workers, and where I have people to actually hang out with. I just can't deal with this "family" thing. UUURRRGGGHH!!! Thats all for now on this rant. Ciao for now!

Plain and simple. This place is called "Fu Bar"! Ok, now that is out of the way. This is the place you come to after you have grown up out of the myspace & facebook thing. This is a community that really was designed with less boundaries in mind so people could express themselves more freely then on those other social sites. If minors (thats 17 and younger) start coming on this site, lie about their age, and then try and meet up with someone who is older, posts information about themselves, or NSFW pics, a lot of problems can come from all that. Honestly, we don't need the myspace drama about terrorists and rapists and pedofiles here. So if you are 18 and older, then sure, come on and join in on the fun, but if you are not, please wait a while or just stay out. We don't want any BS drama here!!! So if you know that there are some underage people on here, then let them know they should go. If you have to, then report them. Remember, according to the law, if you are an adult and they are a minor, no matter what happens, its your fault for being the adult!!!

This is a quote, one of many, from a book I am writing. I have begun writing my auto biography. Enjoy! There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities, it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future, or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain. The Deadman (me)

20 Ways to Confuse and Upset Santa Claus 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants. 4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly. 5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit! 6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas" and "Go away Santa." 7. Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home. 8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until that huge cake arrives. 9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off. 10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa. :(" 11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime." 12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections. 13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire. 14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun. 15. Leave Santa a note explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house. 16. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear. 17. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill. 18. Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue. 19. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. 20. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

Part 2 of The Metalhead Lover's, and other's views on certain individuals I know about out there. In this section, I will be discussing a few dudes I know and a few pricks I know. Understand that no matter what your opinions are, I am stating facts. Cold, hard, solid facts. It was true for the first part, and it's gonna be true in this one. We are gonna discuss a few of the good guys, and a few of the bad guys. Bottom line is here, nobody is exactly what they appear to be when you first meet them. So lets go ahead and dive right in with this, I know most of you are all gonna enjoy this, the rest, well, go whine to someone who cares. Here we go. First on our list is The Savior. He is a guy a met back in high school whom I thought was pretty cool. The guy was kinda quiet till you got to know him. He is quite a talented musician and a great guy to sit back and shoot down some whiskey with. He also has this massive collection of sci-fi stuff that I extremely am crazy about. Greedy guy won't sell me anything though. Fah! But anyways, he is a guy you can always talk to. He is there for you when you need him, he even helped me after I got into a very inconvenient accident. But anyways, people just love this guy. Whether they know him personally, in passing, or are simply fans of his music, this guy has a lot going for him. He also has some impressive hair and and a nice guitar. Anyways, I have been friends with him on a good level for a few years now and just want to say that this Savior just kicks some major ass!!!! Next up we have the Fallen Prince. Basically, he is a guy who kinda has fallen from grace. He has really been through a lot in his day though. I know, I endured much with this man. We were there for each other during the good times, and the bad times. The old days, and the new days. We used to have a really great bond between us. We were practically family. However, he turned deep into bad habits that have made him into a person that he really isn't. I don't know when he really changed, but I know that he is not the same person I once met. I feel that things could be different he he did about 2 or 3 things. Making a few changes in his life would make him a better person, the man he used to be. He would be a great man again. And would return to my good graces of course. Right now, he is not considered an enemy, just a friend who is on my bad side. So for now, lets just elave it at that, for the Fallen Prince might one day return to grace and glory. Now on to Gringo Goat. Gringo Goat is not really a very good descriptive name, rather is is a name he has used to just identify himself. He has an awesome sense of humor, even though it can be a bit dry. He has great taste in music, we have gone to numerous concerts together and had a shit load of wild adventures. He has a great lady in his life and is going to college and works. He is a great friend of mine. He has been there for me for a long time. I have known him for several years now and he has always been a treat to chat or hang with. I just hope life is going good for him. We don't talk to often, but we both are constantly busy. But we all have our chores and other things we must do. So as I come to a close on this guy, I just want to say that he is an awesome guy to know and a true friend. Gringo Goat is for sure one of Miller Lights "Real American Heroes." We tip our hats to you Gringo Goat! Another very interesting guy is the Gothic Alien. He is a very interesting individual whom I have known since I was a youngling. Though our friendship didn't really start until high school. He was really into goth and aliens. Creepy mix eh? But, he was a very cool and straight up guy. He was really into rock music and the women were crazy about him. He was certainly a choice piece of meat in those days. now he is a happily married man who has a beautiful wife, whom I met and was really awesome. He currently serves in the U.S. Army and is a great asset to his unit. I just want to say it has been a pleasure knowing him and I hope that I get a visit from him soon. I hate knowing he is on the other side of the country and I rarely get to hear from him. I just hope things get better for him because I know that he is going through some hard times right now. I just want him to know that I am always there for him if he needs anything. Or if he wants to ever let me have his wife (LOL). But seriously, the Gothic Alien is awesome and he is a proud member of the Army. I just hope life gets better for him. Aside from that, he is just all around awesome! Finally we come to the last guy. Actually, there are multiple guys in this section but, they all seem to be the same in a way. I love my lady and I want you punks queers to know something: STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY LOVE!!!! I am sick of hearing about how all this guys have been groping her, flirting with her, even attempting to make out with her. For a bunch of gays, they seem to have a thing for woman. This is the only warning you punk pussys will get. If I have to come down there and explain it to you personally, understand that it won't be a very pleasant experience. That also goes for the fragging perves she encounters on a daily basis. DON'T EVER PUT YOUR SICK, NASTY, DISGUSTING HANDS ON HER AGAIN!!! If I hear one more time about something I consider inappropriate, I will personally come down to south and open up several cans of America made, Premium Choice, Grade-A Whoopass!!! Thats all I have to say to you punks!!!! So as I come to a close on this topic, I just want to say that this has been a long blog to write and took me a lot of time to choose who was discussed. I did not list everyone man or woman I know, just those I felt were necessary. The bottom line here is that everyone is a little different from when you first meet them and you learn that over time. All I can really say are the rock hard facts about these people. Others may wish to argue my statement, but they are wrong. You can't beat facts with bullshit. So when it comes to life and who you meet, be weary of new faces, trust no one until you know who they really are, and always be cautious when you ally yourselves with someone. You almost never know what going to happen or what the future might bring. I have the gift & curse of premonition. Its a pain in the ass, but it gives me enough comfort so I can sleep at night. So before I go, I just want to say i hope you all enjoyed this entry. I hope that maybe you will learn something from it. I hope it will give you a better understanding of life and the people you have met, you will meet, and the ones you know now. I ask that you all take care of yourselves out there. Until next time............. The Metalhead Lover

Greetings fellow Fubites! The Metalhead Lover here with a very detailed and long blog. In fact, this blog is so long, it will be divided into 2 parts. Part 1 is about women, Part 2 is about men. Basically this blog is about people I know and the experiences we have shared in some form or another. This blog will probably be a downer to most of the individuals I will speak about, and some will be earning more brownie points. The bottom line here is that no one is exactly what they appear to be when you meet them. We all have souls within ourselves. The soul is of course composed of the 3 primary elements of an individual: The Mind, The Body, & The Heart. In a way, each element is critical to the other 2. If one element were to break down, the other 2 would fall with it. Even with 2, no matter how strong they may seem, they will not function properly, if at all. Everyone soul is unique in it's own way, and every soul has similar chrateristics to other souls based on age, gender, race, and of course, sexual orientation. To protect the identity of the individuals, I will not use their real names, rather more basic slang names that will describe them quite well. So, now that we have gotten through all the technical shyte, lets begin. As a gentlemen of nobility, I will start with the ladies. Because, of course, ladies first. First we will discuss Sweet Mama. She is a beautiful woman I met earlier in this year. We met in a social community and immediately took a shine to the other. We had several common interests and we had some differences. But, we did have a common median. We were able to use the mid-point to develop a friendship. It wasn't the most common way, but it did help us develop a great friendship. Things were well and I even was interested in starting a relationship with her. She thought it was the wrong time and though I did persist a bit, I did accept and respect her decision. We talk occasionally and enjoy some great conversations. She is always there for me when I need someone to talk to about. Whether it's a serious matter, a crazy emergency, or just to shoot some shyte, she has been there. She is a wonderful woman who told me she is finally fed up with the bullshit of drama and decided she wants fly solo for a while. I tried to convince her not to give up, but she feels its best for her. I just hope that whatever she MIGHT be searching for, she finds. She is a wonderful woman with a great personality and is an awesome friend. She is Sweet Mama. And she rocks!! Next up we have Baby Bunny. I call her Baby Bunny cause even though she is an adult, she still has a strong and youthful spirit. Yet, her childhoood went by very quickly cause she greq up with a difficult life. She is beautiful, refreshing, and very lively sometimes. Yet, on other days she is just down, sometimes for no reason. She has had a lot of personal issues & bad habits. Things that have messed her up are false friends, abusive guardians, heartbreaking relationships, drugs and alcohol. I blame myself for some of the bad things that have happened to her because I contributed to her problems. I gave her things she didn't need, even though she wanted them. I wasn't there for her enough when I should have been. I just was more of the friend that was occasional, instead of the regualr best friend. Yet, we did have some connections. I think we got a little closer every tiome we met, everytiime we messaged each other, everytime we talked. I just wish I made a move sooner. The last time I saw her, I did try to make a move, but I was afraid to go all the way with it. Our last meeting ended with an empty kiss instead of a passionate one.Maybe if I did put passion in that kiss and told her how I really felt, things would be different. But, she ends up with fflase friends and b/f's that simply use her, buiuld her up for a couple of months to about a year, and then just drop her like a bad habit. I just hope her life gets better and if you read this, know that I am still your friend and will always be there for you, even if you don't want me to be. I will never turn my back to you again. I promise. Take care of yourself Baby Bunny, and always remember I am just a phone call away....... Alright, now lets move on to the Luna Bitch. She is a woman who has a lot of issues and is compased of excuses, bullshit, and lots & lots of lies. She used to have a great and fantastic appearance. She was beautiful, strong, and full of pride. Now she is more of a golddigging bloodsucker tramp. She has cheated on every man she has ever dated. She does sleep around a bit. And she has this crazy idea that she will get into the service someday. Well, when you have the physical issues that she does, BITCH IT JUST AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN! GROW UP!!! She manipultates people to get her way and cares about no one. She might still have some good points, but first she will have to confess to all her lies up front to all. She makes false claims, create bogus stories, and thinks she will live some fairy tale life. At best, she will be living single-wide with some 300lb lazy ass. Last I heard, she had some real pregnancy scares and is sleeping with some 300lb nobody. I gave her a real chance at something special, and she threw it away. She used me, lied to me, and made false claims of love and I was stupid enough to buy it. Take it from me, she is a total lune. Sometimes I feel like I should pity her more then I reveal about her. She is just a failure who gave it all away for greed. Sometimes I think she is so high on herself that she will simply float up into the air, exit the atmosphere, and die in the vacuum of space itself. She is quite the bitch. I feel bad for people that have known her for a long time because they probably are being, or have been manipulated by her. One of my closest friends even believes she has never lied to them. That is pretty impressive influence. I certainly don't buy her bullshit though, and neither should any of you. Beware the Luna Bitch, she is just a flat out liar and a nutball. Now we come to the Lost Princess. I call her a princess because she was as beautiful as a princess from a fairy tale when I first met her. She was caring, sweet, and very wonderful. I though when I met her, I had found that special someone. But she of course had those personal issues that just never go away. Cheating lovers, fake friends, and had a difficult time growing up. I did everything I could to try and be there for her, I even fought for her.But in the end, she mad a few mistakes and bad decsions. Now she is in a situation that will basically ruin her life for at least 10 years. She has a bad amte, a newborn, and an outhouse for a residence. I feel really bad for her. I think that if maybe I was just there a little more for her, and helped her more with her problems, and told her that I loved her more, thigns would be different. I am sorry things didn't work out and I can only hope that when the time comes for me to relive this life again, maybe things well be better. But thats a long time away. For now, you will just have to settle with what you got. I am sorry. I really am, but shyte happens, and who you gonna call. Obviously not me. Had you called, I would have said what needed to be said and things would be different. Part of me will never forget about you, but as for love, well, I have moved on. This entry was about the Lost Princess. May she find her way, whether through family, friends, or even her own self, may she find her way home. Finally we come to the last lady, The Dark Queen. She is sexy, beautiful, very open-minded, and quite the bitch. In this case, being a bitch is a great trait. More women should be bitches because it means they have confidence and pride. It makes them strong. If Hillary Clinton becamse a full time bitch, she will be President and kick a shit load of ass and put America back on top. Anyways, my soul now belongs to the Dark Queen, even though we are a distance from each other, we still have a special connection. I am crazy about her. I love her with all my soul. She means lot to me, though we have spent so little time together, I feel it deep inside me, I mean a lot to her. I hope to see her soon. I hope to be able to hold her in my arms, feel her gentle yet fierce passion, and know more about the wonderful woman she is. Whereever you are right now, whatever you are doing, if you read this, I love you, I miss you, and I hope to be with you someday forever. Now if things change, let me know. She has a wonderful sense of style, great taste in tunes, and love to be heself. She is free spirited, and very strong on the inside. BTW, I believe she is a biter!! LOL!!! Anyways, I just wanted to vent that out beacuse if I don't do it soon, I may never have the chance. I hope you read this, I hope you know that even though we are closer to each other now then we were a week ago, we are still at a distance. But that distance will never lessen the love I have for you. You have given me a new taste for life, and I hope things get better for us soon. This was about the Dark Queen, and she is my goddess!!!! That's all I have to say on this topic. The next entry will be part 2 and that will be about a few guys I know and knew. NO NO NO!!! I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH ANY GUYS!!! THE ONLY DICK THAT EVER GETS NEAR MY BODY IS MY OWN!!!! I am just going to go over and discuss a few things that I need to have vented out. There are some props that need to be put out and some downgrades for others. That is pretty much all I have to say on this topic. Thats all for now kiddies. Take care and enjoy life. If you ever want to know the answer to the 2 most asked questions in history, let me know. I will remind you of the questions, and give you the answers. You will be able to take them to the bank. Take care Fubites!!! Ciao for now!!!! The Metalhead Lover

Very warm, fuzzy, & merry greetings from the Metalhead Lover. Here again to share with you some more insight on life and the changes that occur during it. I know that many of you have been wondering a lot of things about me: my health, my career, my current place of living. Please, please, remain calm and settle down. I received all of your messages, read them all, and responded to all of them. And now, a open entry for all to enjoy. Now, as for me, lets talk. First off, my foot is just about healed. Another 3 weeks and I will be able to run again. As for my shoulder and clavical, well, I still don't have full range of motion for my left arm and it is still really numb around my shoulder. Lots of scar tissue and some nerve damage is still there. Doc said another 2 or 3 months before I should be able to rotate it normally and at least another 3 to 4 months of rehab. Thankfully, I have gotten much of my lost strength back. About 50% of my strength is back. I will get the rest I assume after I am healed fully. BTW, I have started my new job here in beautiful Georgia. I am also writing this from my new apartment. It's a pretty sweet lifestyle up here. I get paid really well, lots of hours, and the apartment is great. Life is getting a little sweeter every day. Thanks to all those who supported me. For those who doubted me, well, nana nana nana!!! I laugh at you all cuase now you have gone from being doubtful to like totally envious and jealous of me. You people are pathetic. HA HA HA HA HA!!! I also want to say that it has been a very hard, long, & difficult road that I took to get here (I-75 SB is murder!), but I want to say that is has been well worth it. My family is happy for me and most of my friends have convayed their personal best wishes. Though I am hurt, I lost both my trucks, and about 90% of my personal property, I did get back on me feet promptly and retook control of my life. Nothing can hold me back, nothing can stop me, and for certain, nothing can kill me. I am pretty confident that I am either immortal, or I heal very, very quickly. It's probably a combination of both though. Anyways, I just want to say that to all my friends, your are all more then welcome to visit me hear in Georgia anytime you want. Just please call me at least a few days in advance so I can prepare the couch and some food for you. And please, no more than 1 person at a time. It's a great apartment, but I can only host up to 3 people total, Myself, a close and personal lady friend (Hun if you read this, that means you and I miss you, I care about you, I think about you often, and I am going to keep waiting you), and then a friend. So thats how things are working right now. I should be fully settled in before the end of the year and am hoping to bring down my dog Sassy from MI sometime in the next few months. Other than that, things are just peachy (excuse the cheesy quote). Well my fellow Fubarholics, tis time for the Metalhead Lover to go and get some rest. I am tired, been doing stuff all day, and I have to work tommorow. Just remember all, I am always willing to chat, just don't leave me like 10 or 12 messages (you 3 know who you are). I will get back to you all. Take care everyone and be on the lookout for my next blog which will be ready to be posted on this coming Saturday night. Ciao for now everyone!!!!! The Metalhead Lover

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don't speak often or if you are a random reader) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me. It can be anything you want - good or bad - BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your diary and be surprised (or mortified) about what people DON'T ACTUALLY remember about you...
FEEDINGTHEDESIRE CLICK HERE FOR FEEDINGTHEDESIRE GRAPHICS FEEDINGTHEDESIRE

Ok, listen up here, cause I ain't gonna repeat myself. This site is all about having fun, meeting people, starting up conversation, and of course, expressing yourself. Listen people if you are gonna be posting NSFW pics, don't be an ass and call the folder "Just For Me", or "My Eyes Only", or "Just Nothing", etc. Listen, if you want people to rate & comment your pics, then you gotta rate & comment theirs too. This is a community people, not your personal dick fest. And BTW, never rate people 1 or start flagging their pics. Thats what turn this place into Myspace. Always rate 10 (11 if you can), always leave comments, good ones. And always be courteous to people. We have the right to express ourselves anyways we want to on this site. So don't go out and start abusing that right. Thats why we have bouncers, thats why we have rules. Because people have been abusing this system. You wanna be an ass, go and start a myspace! Otherwise, show some respect to people on here!!!!

Why does my heart still hold on to you At every waking moment, in everything I do Why do I have to see your face all day And if you knew, what would you say? My heart breaks in two when I see her with you And I think to myself, what didn't I do I wish I could somehow turn back the time And relive one second when you were mine. I wish no one ever had to know The feeling of lovesick pain from head to toe Like someone rips out your heart and tears it in two And sit back and watch is all you can do. In my dreams you say those words I long to hear And when I look in your eyes, I know you're sincere So I'll see you later, when the day is through When I'm asleep in my bed, dreaming of you.