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Jared the Dragon's blog: "Rants"

created on 04/09/2007  |  http://fubar.com/rants/b72364

Dragons VS Linkin Park

It's time once again for another wonderful and fun-filled hate mail review! Yeaaay! More hate, just what the world needs.
The Would-Be-Hater in Question : m_57f4ba6fad89b31dbe93d0b6ee664c78.jpg
Some faggot Linkin Park Emo fan.
And his oh-so thoughtful and fear-inspiring, degrading lump of near-hate :
linkinparkfanzy7.jpg
Now you all know how much I love hate-mail. It really makes me feel special and important, to contemplate the possibility that I ruined some poor fuck's day with a mere lump of text. Mr. Da Vill (which is evidently Canadian for "The Town") was repsonding to a recent post I placed on a Linkin Park Official Myspace Page blog, which he believes I visited for the express purpose of talking shit. Well, Mr. The Town, I actually saw Linkin's sorry-ass blog on the Most Popular Blogs section of Myspace, alongside such frumpery as the goddamn Suicide Girls (naked fat punk chicks) and related horrible "blogs". Blog isn't even a fucking word, you morons. Anyway, now back to demolishing Mr. The Town's self-esteem, which is already pathetic since he actually likes the 13-year-old's-angst-inspiring lyrics of Linkin fucking Park. Here's the deal, fuckhole. You suck ass. Your little favorite band? Fucking clown shoes. They rode Fred Durst's coattails into stardom, selling millions of records to warm-hearted little teenage girls and momma's boys like you. Don't believe me? Still think you're cool shit? Here's the scoop, you beady-eyed, flappy-headed North America's backyard-living piece of worthless void :
dragonvslpbarwebva0.jpg
Is that too much math for your sorry, can't-find-your-own-Shift-key ass? I'll break it down for you, cocksock :
dragonvslppiewebkm1.jpg
A more vivid example would be lyrical evolution. Here are some Linkin Park lyrics, and their translation, followed by some Dragon Lyrics and THEIR translation : Emo-boy Lyrics : Everything you say to me Takes me one step closer to the edge And I'm about to break I need a little room to breathe Cause I'm one step closer to the edge I'm about to break (translation) "When you talk to me, I can't handle it because my mommy grounded me and I can't go out to play or ride my bike, and my fragile pre-teen mentality is crumbling under the claustrophobia of my uncontrolled, undisciplined urban emotional state." Dragon Lyrics : Raaauuur! Grrraaaooowwwlll... Snaaaarrrllll! (translation) "I destroy everything, I crush planets and humans and all those around me, since I'm an elemental nuclear force for armageddon and doom incarnate." Awesome. Dragons are so fucking metal. Still not convinced? Here's a picture of your favorite little butt-fuckers, Mr. The Town :
031228linkinparkyj0.jpg
And, a picture of one lone dragon :
dracocanibalbygenzomanzo7.jpg
It's pretty obvious who's wearing makeup and who's a fucking bad mother-fucker. Hell, this guy even makes Samuel L. look like a pussy bitch. And you know it. "keep your stupid immature comments to yourself, you;re fucking 31 man act it" Yes, I'll start taking orders from some 24-year old Canadian kid now. I have decided that you know something about anything. Except, obviously, how to form a complete sentence or use punctuation. Apparently they don't teach grammar in Canad-ia. Hell, I was nearly certain that they had schools there? "oh and just because you have tattoos doesnt mean you should show your paisty white ass off to everyone.... put on a shirt " Well I actually live below the Arctic Circle, Mr. The Town. My "paisty" ass is actually pasty, I'll give you that, but in my country having tattoos means exactly that. I can show my "paisty" ass off whenever I like. My paid-for-pain has bought me that right. See, down here we have "rights". It's 'cause we have a "government" that actually "does stuff." You know, like dominate the world, bully smaller, weaker countries (just like yours, bitch) and most importantly, we nuke the shit out of people who suck. How cool is that? Power rules. Try it some time. First, move to the USA, of course. Canad-ia has about as much influence on the world as Zaire. And you listen to Linkin Park because you "want to"? You actually want to be a whiny, pathetic bitch-boy? Well, you have achieved precisely that. Impressive. Witnessing others attaining their life-goals always makes me go a soft rubbery one.
You lose. Dragons rule. Kickass. 120140.jpg
- Jared
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