Filthy Leatherkitty76's blog: "Randoms"

The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things that you get ashamed of; because words diminish them - words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a teller but for want of an understanding ear. 'Different Seasons "The Body"' - Stephen King

oh evil of evil I'm going to write what I'm thinking in my own words.. how novel .. compared to the quotes I generally post. I've had a rough couple months trying to date a person at some insane distance from myself.. I know the hazards and being my age you'd think I was prepared for the trama of it not working .. but to be honest I havent dated much haven't put my heart out there to be messed with .. its difficult to do that and for some reasons I thought the distance thing would be easier on my mental well being, it would slow down my nautral sexual side so I could get to know someone instead of throwing myself into a physical whirlwind with someone new. In some ways it really was, and seemed to be in person as well .. but now that its all over the knowledge that you can be so easily erased is insane to me. That the time you invested is gone with a simple delete or blocking of accounts. Am I the only person that can't just turn a blind eye on people when they've made an impact on me? Remember conversations and think of how they form the words they do or laugh at things I didnt consider to be jokes or even when the person made me think of myself in different ways. Maybe the worst part is I feel forgettable.. unspecial if you will, and that's not something people generally enjoy.

"Your Bore" You make me feel like I’m a whore Like I’m the one who’s there to bore you now It’s always gonna be this way Get the fuck away ‘Cause I can’t seem to show you what you wanna see I can never give you anything you need I’m sick of wasting time on what can never be I cannot control you into wanting me You always wanna steal the light By stepping on the ones who fight for you It’s always gonna be the same Get the fuck away ‘Cause I can’t seem to show you what you wanna see I can never give you anything you need I’m sick of wasting time on what can never be I cannot control you into wanting me I hate what you are I’ll break you and leave you scarred I hate what you are I’ll break you and leave you scarred I hate what you are ‘Cause I can’t seem to show you what you wanna see I can never give you anything you need I’m sick of wasting time on what can never be I cannot control you into wanting me now Into wanting me now Into wanting me now Into wanting me now Into wanting me

"Breakdown" The sun is gone and the flowers rot Words are spaces between us And I should've been drown in the rivers I've found of token lost And I should've been down when you made me insecure So break me down if it makes you feel right And hate me now if it keeps you alright You can break me down if it takes all your might 'cause I'm so much more than meets the eye And I'm the one you can never trust 'cause wounds are ways to reveal us And yeah I could have tried and devoted my life to both of us But what a waste of my time when the world we have is yours So break me down if it makes you feel right And hate me now if it keeps you alright You can break me down if it takes all your might 'cause I'm so much more than all your lies Hate me, break me down So break me down So break me down So break me down if it makes you feel right And hate me now if it keeps you alright You can break me down if it takes all your might 'cause I'm so much more than meets the eye

So I've put up a few mumms and I have run into a few real jackasses with their oh god boring comments or been there done that attitudes .. my personal favorites are the one presuming to know my motivations for even posting it. Just because I am not on here on a daily basis reading everyones mumms and comparing one mumm to another every few minutes, Doesn't mean what I put in mine should be mocked, unless you seriously disagree with my choice of conetent then by all means give your 2 cents. If you've it read before from someone else move along .. keep your craptastic little self loathing comments to yourself.

Is the all technology in my sad little world trying to thwart me today?!? Yahoo is my new enemy .. daily it turns craptastic and wont play well with others.. and now on here for some odd reason my blogs dont show on my page. Grrr~!