"OK, after much discussion and consideration of the various business plans, my angels and I have awarded the God Franchise (Earth Branch) to the Roman Catholics. My will is that the Pope should tell all people how to live their lives and that he and the Vatican should be controlled by the upper levels of the secret society network like the Freemasons and the Knights of Malta. If any Pope does not agree to this control, he should be murdered (as with Pope John Paul I in 1978). I also will that
the Pope and the Roman Catholic Church should terrify little children to prepare them for a life of being told what to do and to ensure that they believe what the church wants them to believe. I will that an inquisition should be formed by said Pope to burn everyone he and his henchmen decide do not believe in every single word of my bible, the King James version of which has been documented to have 36,191 errors in translation alone. I will that my son, the Prince of Peace (also known quite wrongly as "Jesus"), should be nailed to a cross and suffer unbelievable pain so that the rest of humanity shall be able to kill and plunder each other while having their sins forgiven forever!
Oh, my God! Sorry, oh my Me! That doesn't sound right. It's not very Godly and I am God after all. Er, no, er I've changed my mind:
My will now is that Jews are my chosen people, even though, contrary to worldwide indoctrination, there is no such thing as a Jewish "race", just as there is no "Aryan" race, either. I will that the Jewish hierarchy should terrify their children to prepare them for a life of being told what to do and to ensure they conform to whatever the hierarchy tells them. This fear should be constantly applied throughout their lives. They should be made to fear terrorist attacks (for which their own hierarchy are often responsible) and made to believe that only by giving their minds and power away to the hierarchy will they be protected from their enemies. As I gave a strip of land to my chosen people thousands of
years ago (or so the history books tell me, I don't remember myself), I will that the Palestinian Arabs should be terrorised out of their homes, that their land be called Israel, and that some of the terrorists involved such as Ben-Gurion, Begin, Rabin, and Shamir, should later become prime ministers and display record-breaking hypocrisy by denouncing the terrorism of others. I thought about insisting that Jewish people be told that they can speak to me by putting little bits of paper into the cracks between the stones in the Wailing Wall, but no-one would ever believe that. To sum up, I will that the Jewish hierarchy are my chosen people and, as their book, the Talmud, says: "Just the Jews are humans, the non-Jews are no humans, but cattle".
Oh my Me! That doesn't sound right, either. It's not very Godly and I am God after all. Er, no, er, I've changed my mind again:
This time I will that my real voice on Earth is the Muslim hierarchy and that they should terrify their children to prepare them for a life of being told what to do and to ensure they conform to my rules. I told all this to a guy called Mohammed a long time ago and he was very good because he and his successors led a vast army of followers to kill and maim anyone who didn't accept them as my representatives on Earth. I will that the religion called Islam created in my name should be used to
keep the people in fear, guilt, and order while my hierarchy use the oil money for their own benefit and keep the rest of the people in servitude and poverty in the name of my religion. I will that women should not be able to show more than their eyes in public because, although I created the physical body, I am terribly ashamed of it. I further will that men should always be in control and that women (one of my aberrations, oops!) should be forced to do as they are told.
Oh my Me! That doesn't sound right, either. I'm terribly confused. I can't decide. Let the people choose. Go on, fight for it. Blow the living daylights out of each other. Rape the planet... yeeesssss... go for it. Last one alive wins and sits at my right hand next to the Prince of Peace. Deal?"
