Footie's blog: "Poetry"

I wanted to put this out there just in case you were wondering. I suffer from Depression big time. I eats away at me almost on a daily basis. Some days, the grip is so strong that I cry at the simples of things. Writing and poetry, especially poetry, soothes my ravaged mind and I can function again. Therefore, look upon this as a warning, my poems are dark and sorrowful, but when it's been raining for several days, you'll take anything you can get...

How many days Do I have to endure mental pain and agony knowing there's no cure How many times will I watch the day's end curled up in a corner lonely without a friend I want to end this life and hopefully start again no more losing propositions with a good chance to win I want to be like other people in a place where I'm in charge Everybody looks up to me while I dance and live large I want to be like former lovers a target in a suitor's glaze I want to feel desire and burn in passion's blaze I want to be happy but I don't know how I want to be center stage and hear applause when I take a bow Suicide is a selfish act an action you have to explain but they were the ones partying while I am the one in pain Suicide is a selfish act for there is always a choice but what options lay before you when you can't hear a single voice Where were the friends? when you sit at home alone Were they laughing at you when everything turned to stone Where were the lovers? when all you needed was a hug they were out shopping searching for new heartstrings to tug So I'll continue to pray hoping for an answer from Heaven I pull myself out of bed with an effort to remain driven For their sakes I'll remember one undeniable fact although I dwell in pain Suicide is a selfish act.......

There's a beat dancing in his heart and it hammers in his chest He can feel it slow down these days for time calls it to rest The years have flown by leaving scars to mark the days baby showers and funerals mingle together in the haze He hopes that when this all shakes out that He'll be on the positive side He prays that Heaven will open up and that he'll avoid the downward slide Soon the light will fade and He'll have to step over He'd hope to watch my children grow and dance in fields of clover So shed no tears for this dying man For his life was complete and full He'll go to a place where they know his name and peace is the guiding rule Time ticks with each new day and a boy will become a man He'll take his place in the sun and fulfill the Master's plan For with every life, there comes a death and Nature makes this so embrace each moment when it comes because time will never let you know Bryant

in dreams the world is a wonderful place Everyone dances Everyone has a smile on his face in dreams I'm better than I am I'm deeply in love With a passion that breaks the dam I'm important When my eyes are closed I have friends And their love always shows I wish I could sleep forever For I'd feel no pain I'd be like any other man Instead of being insane When my eyes are closed I feel my spirit fly When my eyes are open All I do is cry......... Bryant

I have seen Heaven in the sparkle of her eyes for a moment in her presence my love I can't disguise I have seen Heaven and felt it in her touch I have swallowed all the passion and never I have wanted her so much I have seen Heaven and danced with Angels therein I have tasted her beauty in a place where time never ends Dear Father Is this place real? Can I honestly trust the emotions that I feel? I have seen Heaven and I know paradise does exist even in this fool's errand it's her love that I can't resist I have seen Heaven and when I leave this plane I'll embrace the notion and know that love is more than a name...... Bryant.

Upon the solitary gallows I'll make my stand This last act of defiance with a noose in my hand There'll be no tears Gone is the passion, honesty and hope I'll chase away the lies with the snap of a rope Call it what you will Call it a fool's blunder I only know one thing in this moment, I shall.... Surrender She thinks I don't know But I saw her with my eyes On this day, I came home early and betrayal was my surprise I let the flowers fall from my hand they hit the floor He pounds her again and again and she keeps screaming for more I can still hear them The lust burning in my ears I've never tasted her fire never in 15 years Her explosion is coming as he drives her passionate thunder her body soaked in desire the only choice is..... Surrender I guess they'll find me later I'm sure they'll cut me down pour me in a 6 foot hole and go back for another round You could say I had options for there are a thousands parts to play but my heart is smashed and pain doesn't go away I'll never trust again My soul is just too tender Life is have and have not and Love only allows you to... Surrender Bryant...