Peanut's blog: "Poetry"

Time has run out, for me. Everything's distant and I don't know what to believe. It's so hard, lost in the world confusion. And I need to leave, for a while. Life is so meaningless; there is nothing worth a smile. So goodbye, I'll miss you. And I'm sorry, but this is my fate. Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay. And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long. So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me. I'm not worth any tears. It's been the years, of abuse. Neglected to treat the disorder, That controls my youth, for so long. I'm in a fleshy tomb, buried up above the ground. It's no use, why should I hold on? It's been five years, don't need one more. So goodbye, life's abuse. And I'm sorry, but this is my fate. Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay. And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long. So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me. I'm not worth any tears. And I'm sorry, but this is my fate. Everything is worthless, no one who wants me to stay. And I'm sorry, but I've waited too long. So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me. So here's my goodbye, no one will cry over me. I'm not worth any tears.

I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain the only thing that's real The needle tears a hole the old familiar sting try to kill it all away but I remember everything What have I become? My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away in the end You could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt I wear this crown of shit On my liar's chair Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair Beneath the stains of time the feelings disappears You are someone else I am still right here What have I become? my sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away in the end You could have it all my empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt If I could start again a million miles away I would keep myself I would find a way...

November 6th You lie in bed awake at night But eyes are tightly shut Wishing that it was a dream But now with ure damn luck The harsh motions run through ure head Like daggers to the heart Tears are staining ure flushed cheeks As time just falls apart November 6th was that party That you just had to go to You quickly got there, looking cute Excited with ure crew The music loud and air was smoky Just like in the books And then you saw him, standing there With all his sexy looks You talked a bit and giggled some As he told you all his jokes All the noise and loud heartbeats Were distracting as he spoke So you two went into his room Where everything was quiet Focusing on each there Ignoring the big riot And then he kissed you long and hard And led you to the bed You went along and kissed him back “Slow down” you quietly said But he acted like he heard nothing Pushing down some more You fell down quickly on the sheets Noticing he locked the door Now he was on top of you His muscles tightening up You couldn’t move, he was to strong You knew that you were stuck Then again you yelled “slow down!” So maybe he would stop But like before it was ignored ‘Please no’ is what you thought One by one the clothes came off And you tried to get away He pushed you down, hand on ure mouth To make sure that you stayed You closed ure eyes as tears came down The night slowly went on This nightmare of yours would not stop You wanted to be gone And then he got up and got dressed The dirty deed was done You couldn’t move so you just stayed As he said that he had fun 2 a.m. you stumbled in All safe and warm at home You walked up stairs into ure room And fell on sheets alone You lie in bed awake at night But eyes are tightly shut Wishing that it was a dream But now with ure damn luck Written By Hilary Richardson.