ICE's blog: "Poems"

Four o'clock in the morning Afraid to open my eyes Another day of grief, A day of fear. All alone I feel. I try to justify all the pain, All of this guilt before my eyes. Another day of confusion, A day of wondering. Is it ever just going to go away? All this pain that I feel, And all this anger, is it going to stay? Ten o'clock in the evening, Afraid of the nightmares. Again my breathing stops. All I can do is stare into the night. What is it that causes this feeling? Another night of crying, A night of hiding, Alone once again. My heart feels empty, And I can't cry another tear. Another day wasted on insecurity, A day of wonder. Is this ever going to end?

Something must be wrong with me with all this hurt inside, always bursting with anger, and never any pride. Something must be wrong with me if all I do is cry, I can't stop this pain all I want to do is die. Something must be wrong with me if my emotions run wild, all this confusion does is make me feel like a lost child. Something must be wrong with me with all these terrible things, always there and never gone depression is what it brings. Something must be wrong with me if I can't stop these thoughts, all this pain does is turn my stomach in knots. Something is truly wrong with me when I think there's only one way out, "Let this pain end," is all my heart will shout.

Some say being in love is being under a spell I guess magic does exist For me I'm fooled to believe someone could love me My mind and heart Trick me to feel good But in reality Love doesn't know my name It's not meant for me I'm under the spell To be in love Then it wears off Back to this life He laughs at me This trick works every time What you think is there, isn't Being in love, is not being you Come on now, think about it If love were real Hate and suicide would not exist.

I sit alone in my house Felling coy just like a mouse All alone with no friends I feel like shit But that depends On how much I drink tonight I stay indoors and hide away I don't want to go out and play Happy Lisa today No way! I sit alone and watch TV Maybe the will be something for me To watch so I don't have to Communicate with any of you I sit and think of suicide I just can't hide the feelings inside of me.