BBD's blog: "pain (love sucks)"

we started with a goodbye but i couldn't let you go with never knowin you so we started talkin on the phone i got scared to open up and we didnt talk so much my falt i know, you where just the kind of guy i wouldn't have wanted to loose then i feel on hard times and we couldn't talk for a while i felt the loss of a loved one's life as though it where my own life lost when i came around and needed you most yer kind heart was no longer there for me maybe you didn't know but i did fall for you that's what scared me so much how fast it had happened cuz of the last man i opened myself to hurt me more then i could have ever thought possible i knew you where not the same but i was just scared i wasn't runnin away from you or whatever it was you thought but then you become a good friend even when you where not around readin your poems helped me to move past my pain and a few kind words from time to time that you gave helped me to open up and now that i am open for the world to see i feel so vulnerable and afraid but you taught me to live again even if you didn't know it. Now I'm goin through a tough time and instead of runnin i turn to find you so i can get through it, just to find you have turned yer back on me dropped from yer life as though i where nothin to you nothing at all I'm hurtin so much I'm so afraid i don't know what way is up or what way is down i need yer heart yer sweet words but but you give none, i loved you, you may not have known but i did in my own way I know i suck at showin it but i did and still do love you i just want to know why? why now would you turn yer back to me? now that i am open for all the world to see now that you can know me the me inside the scared and week me not just the diva i show to most but the woman that is me why? why would you do this to me now that i need you most in my life if for nothin then just a friend to lean on when I'm at my lowest point?. p.s. even though i am hurtin now and now you are part of that pain i still love you and if at anytime you ever want to talk I'm here for you and always will be, my sweet poet.

don't you even care anymore? don't you see what your words have done to me? the joy of day, has left my eye's the laughter has left my heart the light of my soul has faded to just a spark, barly a flicker in the dark your words have cut in to me like a knife each and every time now all i feel is nothing at all only sorrow where my joy once was only pain where my laughter once lived why have you done this to me? didn't my love mean anything to you? anything at all? why? why have you hurt me? why, oh why do i still love you? why wasn't it ever enough? oh why? why must my body go on when my heart has already died with our love? why? why!? WHY!!? by,ally cat(diva)