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feels to me that the end will be near sooner and that due to the strain and the toll on my being is more and more that the time is coming to just give up and not worry whom will be hurt in the end as long as the pain i feel physically and emotionally is no longer around and no longer felt.............my drive to move on and go forth has just become no more and seems better to just let go and give up............
life just seems to be getting worse and worse and really dont have the ambition anymore or the strength to continue on. Too physically and mental drained
As I sit here I wonder....does anything really matter anymore? Why am I still struggling to be here? Why do I always help others when no one is here to help me? Screw it. I don't care anymore. Tired of struggling and working everyday and not being able o live myself. No money for food or for a home....not even money to get back and forth to work yet I still go everyday. Tired of being sick daily and miserable and depressed. What is the purpose of even staying alive when I can't even enjoy my life? Would anyone truly miss me if i was gone other than my dog whom will be able to find a new home and new people to love? What is the point? Where are all those "friends" whom I have helped and done things for now that I am the one whom is in need of help? Obviously they are not really "friends". I just want to give up but even to depressed to do that................................
What is love, life, friends, happiness and all the good things? Nothing but glorified words to bring false hopes and dreams to people. Love is full of heartache and pain. Life is full of hardship, hard work for nothing, and pain. Friends are just enemies with a different name because they seem to only dring deceit and pain. Happiness what is that? Only seems to be a false hope to me especially lately. Why even speak of such things in life when they seem to not exist?
