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13 Steps to Recovery/Integration for Soldiers becoming civi Body: 13 Steps to Recovery/Integration for Soldiers becoming civilians. 1. Admit: "I was in the Army; I have a problem." This is the first step to recovery... 2. Speech: Time should never begin with a zero or end in a hundred, it is not 0430 or 1400; it is 4:30 in the morning (AKA God-awful early). Words like latrine, overhead, fourth point of contact, bunk, and "PT" will get you weird looks; bathroom, ceiling, and workout... get used to it. "Fuck" cannot be used to -replace whatever word you can't think of right now, try "um". Grunting is not talking. Nobody knows what "hooah" means. Admit it: you don't even know what it really means. It's a phone, not a radio; do not use words like roger, say again, send it and conversations on a phone do not end in "out" People will not know what you are talking about if you tell them you are coming from Fort Huachuca with the platoon or that you spent a deployment in the OCAC. Likewise people will not understand you when you use expressions like "watch your six." 3. Style: Do not put creases in your jeans. Do not put creases on the front of your dress shirts. A horseshoe cut looks dumb, not motivating. A high and tight looks really dumb as well. A hat indoors does not make you a bad person; it makes you like the rest of the world; what's more it's a hat and not a cover. You do not have to wear a belt ALL the time. 4. Women: Air Force girls are easy, very easy, not all women are this easy and will probably punch you in the nuts if you treat them like Air Force girls. Being divorced twice by the time you are 23 is not normal, neither are 6 month marriages, even if it is your first. Marrying a girl so that you can move out of the barracks does not make "financial sense", it makes you a retard. 5. Personal accomplishments: In the real world, being able to do pushups will not make you good at your job. Most people will be slightly disturbed by you if you tell them about people you have killed or seen die. How much pain you can take is not a personal accomplishment. The time you got really drunk and passed the sobriety test anyway is also not a personal accomplishment. 6. Drinking: In the real world, being drunk before 5pm will get you an intervention, not a "good for you" That time you drank a 5th of Jaeger and pissed in your closet is not a conversation starter. That time you went to the combat life saver school and practiced giving vodka IV's will also not be a good conversation starter. 7. Bodily functions: Farting on your co-workers and then giggling while you run away may be viewed as "unprofessional". The size of the dump you took yesterday will not be funny no matter how big it was, how much it burned, or how much it smelled. You can't make fun of someone for being sick, no matter how funny it is. VD will also not be funny 8. The human body: Most people will not want to hear about your balls. Odd as that may seem, it's true. 9. Spending habits: One day, you will have to pay bills Buying a $30,000 car on a $16,000 a year salary is a really bad idea. Spending money on video games instead of on diapers makes you a fool. One day you will need health insurance . 10. Interacting with civilians (AKA YOU): Making fun of your neighbor to his face for being fat will not be normal. 11. Real jobs: They really can fire you. On the flip side you really can quit. Screaming at the people that work for you will not be normal, remember they really can quit too. Taking naps at work will not be acceptable. Remember 9-5 not 0430 to 1700 12. The Law: UCMJ does not exist and will not save you from prison. Your workplace unlike your command can't save you and probably won't, in fact you will likely be fired about 5 minutes after they find out you've been arrested Even McDonalds does background checks, and "conviction" isn't going to help you get the job Fighting is not a normal thing and will get you really arrested, not yelled at Monday morning before they ask you if you won. 13. General knowledge: You can in fact really say what you think about the President in public. Pain is not weakness leaving the body, it's just pain. They won't wear anything shiny that tells you they are more important than you are, be polite. Read the contracts before you sign them; remember what happened last time. Repost if you were once a soldier...or currently are...or know some and miss them dearly
Aah my preferred company of malfunctioning squirrel intestines. I come to you today with more nonsensical bullshit. So kick back and enjoy. So there i was stabbing at my eardrum with a Gerber. As I sometimes do. And i realized hey maybe Iraq isn't that bad of a place to be in. Then I imediately punched myself in the face for even thinking such things. That had nothing to do with the blog I just wanted to share that. So anyways. Whats up with music nowadays it seems that a band comes out with a good album, goes on haitis for a year or so and then puts out an album that i wouldnt see fit to kill a small child with(AFI, CKY, KORN). When i listened to the new AFI I ,for no othger reason than my need for uncontrolable outbursts, punched my computer(i appolagized to it later and now we are back to good). What the fuck. This is not the caliber of music i expect after sing the sorrow, answer that and stay fassionable, and all hollows ep. Where do these fuckers get off trying to pull this shit on me. I could go to the zoo and find some monkeys to throw their shit at each other in a recording studio and i would be more impressed than by the new Nine Inch Nails album. Come on you fucking jackasses. You can only pull this shit so many times before you lose your fan base. And all of you people that actually liked the new album.... shut the fuck up i dont want to hear you guys comment about how im wrong and it was a good album. Fuck you, you non-good music knowin fucks. Maybe if i pounded myself in the face with a ballpeen hammer my opinion would change but i seriously doubt it. And on that note kudos to tool(another good album to the collection). And if any of the afore mentioned bands want to comment feel free but be warned im gonna tell you to go make another good album and until you do you can play hide and go fuck yourself. Kudos: Less Than Jake, TOOL, Taking Back Sunday, Matchbook Romance, Saves The Day, & Mae. congratulations you have managed to release good albums. Better luck next times: AFI CKY Korn Nine Inch Nails Avenged Sevenfold(yeah thats right i said it Fuck city of evil. Sounding the seventh trumpet and waking the fallen were much better albums. Get back to the Hopeless roots)
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