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cdyslvrdrgn's blog: "My Life"

created on 09/10/2007  |  http://fubar.com/my-life/b126905

My Problem

The other day I was served child support paperwork on my 16 yo daughter whom I have not seen since her mom and her disappeared on me 13 years ago. Now I have no problem paying the child support. The problem I am having is that I found her mom on MySpace and sent her a message telling her that I wasn't going to fight it and that I would like to get to know my daughter. Her response to me was to block me from contacting her at all. Now I feel like that my money is good enough for her but I am not good enough to know my daughter. Now I live in Iowa and thats where the support order will go through but they live in Florida and to get court ordered visitation I have to either go there or hire a lawyer there and I can't afford to do either one. I currently have 5 of my children living with me. Any comments or advice would be helpful.

As I've Matured...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in... I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jackasses. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think. I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how you take it off. I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things. I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity. I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the ass are permanent. Now I stole this from my Uncle on our family website, but I agree 100% so I thooght I would post it here.

My Kids

OK I have been asked several times about them so here it goes. Yes I have 11 kids. Their ages are 18, 15, 14, 12, (10), 8, 7, 4, 3, 1, and 4 months. They have 5 different mothers. We'll start with the oldest and work our way down. My oldest is a boy, that's pretty much all I can tell you about him, other then his name (Cory) and birthday. I've never met him, I didn't even know about him until I got a phone call the day after he was born. I left to go to basic training when his mom was 2 months pregnant with him. She decided to not tell me because she knew I was leaving. Then she moved to California and had him. Called me the day after and that was the last I have heard from her. All I can do is hope that one day he will come knock on my door and introduce himself. The 15 year old's name is Qaban. He lives with his mother in AZ. I haven't seen him since he was 9 months old. That was his mothers choice not mine. A couple of years ago out of the blue he called me and for a couple of months after that we talked once a week then the number was disconnected and I haven't heard from him since. The 14 year old's name is Kira, my oldest daughter. I met her the day she turned 2. We got to see each other on a regular basis for a couple of months then her and her mother disappeared and I havent seen or heard from them since. The 11 year old's name is Lea. She is not biologically mine but I am the only Daddy that she has ever known. She is a great kid and I love just as much as if she was biologically mine. I am a firm believer that any male can be a father but it takes a man to be a Dad. The (10) year old's name is BJ. The reason his age is in () is that we lost him at the age of 3 1/2 months. This still hurts, no parent should have to bury a child. But he is still with us in our hearts. The 8 year old's name is Codi. Yes she is named after me. She is a handful. The 7 year old's name is Cordell. He is a typical 7 year old boy. Except that he always seems to have little girls fighting over him and chasing him. The 4 year old's name is Karen. She is like Lea(see above). Would not trade her for anything. The 3 year old's name is Kavita. She is a little spitfire. She has brought at least 6 full grown men to their knees (if you know what I mean). Enough said? The 1 year old's name is Rebecca. I think she is going to be a lot like Kavita. The 4 months old's name is Blake and he is just a little cutie. The only picture that I will ever put on here of them is the one that I have already. I just don't think that they need to be put out there like that. I think that about covers it, If you have any questions just ask.
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